The Crap We Missed – Friday 7.12.13

July 12th, 2013 // 318 Comments

So here’s your Friday edition of The Crap We Missed, that’s coming at you early, because Fish is hard at work stuffing LEGO references into a Pacific Rim review. “Man, you lazy fucks are cutting out early to go to a movie again!” you say? AHAHA– Sadly no. Someone decided to go see a late show without me last night, so I’ll be taking the afternoon to decopage a certain coffee mug — that may or may not have ‘World’s Greatest Tit Photo Editor’ stenciled on it — with pictures of a slight-framed, spiky-haired manchild wearing only a Captain America t-shirt and smashing it with a sledgehammer.

As for you guys, my loyal friends who I can always count on to tell me whose butts need how much of your pee, you get to enjoy the last thing Alec Baldwin will see before rage bursts from his chest in the form of red mist, Paris Hilton‘s utmost respect for the law, and Honey Boo Boo‘s parents signing copies of the book their family wrote because why not kick me when I’m down, universe, go ahead, I can’t get any lower.

I can still smell the butter on you, you bastard. I hope it was worth it,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Paedophiles everywhere have a sad right now due to the fact they just found out she has pubes.
    Thought this was a 12-year-old with a fucked up daddy. Wouldn’t be unheard of, eh?
    How long until that stolen-leaked-porno featuring Ireland’s Baldtwat?

  2. Jonah Hill Neck Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    Being Jonah Hill’s wingman has got to suck.

  3. Maria Shriver Creepy Face Virgin Mary Tee Shirt
    BB
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mimetic poly-alloy.”

  4. Erin Heatherton Nipples No Bra The Global Poverty Project 2013 Global Citizen Festival Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    Bras are so past tense.

  5. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    Thanks Iggy. I had forgotten to put moisturizer on my grocery list.

  6. Bruce Springsteen Huge Pit Stains
    Commented on this photo:

    He sweats pure American freedom.

  7. Bruce Springsteen Huge Pit Stains
    bargoyle
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Michael Lohan was in jail or something?

  8. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Mike1
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sir your daughter just broke into the men’s room and ate all the urinal cakes,”

    “Don’ tell her ma, she’ll be wantin’ some too an I don’t think you got enough.”

  9. Jonah Hill Neck Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    He will never be Leo.
    Evidence: That woman’s legs are still closed, she has the smile of a woman who doesn’t give a fuck and he’s not floating above the table perspiring orgasms and dreams.

  10. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    SER
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s going to have to aim lower if she ever wants to be as famous as a Kardashian.

  11. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, it’s things like this that make me really think that we should just nuke ourselves and hand the whole place over to the cockroaches.

  12. Bruce Willis Checking Out Wife Emma Hemings Ass Red 2 Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    As a rule you shouldn’t bang anything that helped produce Rumer Willis.

  13. Bruce Springsteen Huge Pit Stains
    SER
    Commented on this photo:

    Bruce Sweatstain! I’ll be here all week! Tip your waitress & try the fish!

  14. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    Its official: He is entirely made of beef jerky now.

  15. Paris Hilton On Cell Phone Getting A Ticket
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he’s acting out that scene from Bad Lieutenant.

  16. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    evilstamos
    Commented on this photo:

    WINTER IS COMING!

  17. Jonah Hill Neck Beard
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, I said I’m a serious actor…”

  18. Catherine Zeta Jones Cleavage Red 2 Premiere
    Dapper Dan
    Commented on this photo:

    How’s the HPV vag?

  19. Ke$ha Gold Tooth Fishnets Mesh Shirt BBC Studios
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    Why yes, I do give blowjobs in the alley for $2. How did you know?

  20. Kate Upton Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Are we pretending she has anything of interest below the tits?

  21. Bruce Jenner Pissed Off Look
    Commented on this photo:

    I think we all know by now that this is Liza Minelli.

  22. Scott Disick
    boof
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking good Scott, but who’s the hunk in the black shirt?

  23. Kathy Griffin Middle Finger Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    Two pics of Iggy back to back? but why?

  24. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Two of the most annoying people on the planet.

  25. Taylor Hackford Fondling And Kissing Helen Mirren Red 2 Premiere
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d bang Helen Mirren just on principle. And I’d be willing to bet that she’d be better in bed than 90% of the models that get their pics posted here.

  26. Maria Shriver Creepy Face Virgin Mary Tee Shirt
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    BRAAAAIIIIINNNNNNSSSS

  27. Bruce Willis Checking Out Wife Emma Hemings Ass Red 2 Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought you were supposed to do inspections BEFORE purchase.

  28. Bruce Jenner Pissed Off Look
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    No I will NOT look at those naked supermodel pics. EEEWWWWW.

  29. Coco Cleavage Suspenders Old Modeling Photo Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Coco T’s Taffeta Tabaret Tie Temerariously Teases her Tectonic Teramorphous Turgid Tittys causing a Tentiginous response.

  30. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    This might be one of the saddest things I have ever seen.

  31. Kathy Griffin Middle Finger Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
    Meg's Attitude
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, there really was only one person in your audience – surprise!

  32. Prince Charles Talking To Little Girl Coronation Festival Royal Preview
    Commented on this photo:

    LMAO, I totally thought this was Honey Boo Boo too.

  33. Maria Shriver Creepy Face Virgin Mary Tee Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    What model of Terminator is she?

  34. Coco Cleavage Suspenders Old Modeling Photo Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I have got to admit that this picture has me SSSOOO HOT for Photoshop right now. Yea, Photoshop…the things I could do with you, baby.

  35. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like one of the Venture clone slugs escaped again!

  36. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how often Alec checks on her twitter account and freaks out.

  37. Sophie Simmons Cleavage Nipples Red 2 Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    unfortunate Britney-esque boobs…

  38. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    Having the guts to go on stage shirtless knowing you look like this is actually pretty bad ass in a true punk sort of way.

  39. Sophie Simmons Cleavage Nipples Red 2 Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what she looks like naked. Oh wait, not I don’t.

  40. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to see a Venn diagram with “Honey Boo boo fans” in one circle and “books” in the other. I’m not imagining a lot of crossover.

  41. Scott Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t sing “Low Places” to me, Garth Brooks!

  42. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Smart girl. At least this way she doesn’t have to look at his face.

  43. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    “We want to make people believe you wrote this book. For the love of God, quit trying to read it out loud.”

  44. Bruce Springsteen Huge Pit Stains
    Commented on this photo:

    After that fateful concert, he was forever known as The Pit Boss.

  45. Paris Hilton On Cell Phone Getting A Ticket
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, I offered to blow him, but he’s still writing the ticket. It’s like he’s not even *from* L.A.”

    • “At least he’s white. Because sometimes, the cop’s black, and y’know, ew.”

      • Her last boyfriend was black, although for some reason no one talks about it, that DJ Afrojack guy. I mean he is light as fuck and foreign, but the dude is black.

      • Didn’t she at one point say that she hates black men? That even if a guy was 1% black, he would be too black for her. As a black man, with this knowledge, I’d love to recreate the Selma Blair & Robert Wisdom sex scene from “Storytelling” with her. Dialogue and all.

      • Keven

        Good memory. Actually she’s said things like that a couple of times. Once when refering to a make-out session she had with Vin Diesel; and another time at a new years eve party where she and her sister Nikki were video taped repeatedly calling people ‘niggers’.

  46. Catherine Zeta Jones Cleavage Red 2 Premiere
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    “Greg, it’s not true! Love, Catherine”

    “Tom, It’s not true! Love, Catherine”

    “Fish, It’s true, please stop following me from town to town, Love Catherine”

  47. Jonah Hill Neck Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Seriously, if that waitress doesn’t bring me my food soon, I’m going to kill and eat every motherfucker in this place.”

  48. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    They let THESE people into a BOOKSTORE?!?!?

    What in the world is this country coming to?

  49. Taylor Hackford Fondling And Kissing Helen Mirren Red 2 Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Google “Helen Mirren in a bikini” and get ready for Penile Cognitive Dissonance.

  50. Bruce Jenner Pissed Off Look
    jus sayin
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t look so freaky if he cut his hair and let it go grey. Maybe. I know that won’t change the stupid plastic surgery but it might help. Maybe.

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