The Crap We Missed – Friday 6.3.11

June 3rd, 2011 // 397 Comments

“Don’ta worry, Mr. DiCaprio. I no thinka they see us.”

Alright, folks, Photo Boy and I are bouncing early to catch X-Men: First Class, so I can bring you another dorkishly, tit-free review later tonight. In the meantime, enjoy the photographic stylings of Kendra Wilkinson‘s entire demographic (Seriously, that’s the whole thing.), Kim Kardashian‘s $2 million rock, Shania Twain being just as surprised as I am that she’s still alive and what the hand that massages Selena Gomez’s feet does during the off-season.

SNIKT! (Oh, wait, he’s not in this movie.),

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Hayden Panettiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember that car Tattoo used to drive on Fantasy Island? I don’t know why she made me think of that.

  2. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love to see her and Kim K battle it out to the death, using their asses as bataka bats.

  3. Mark Murke

    Truly a talent!

  4. Coco Cleavage
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    Good chimp.

  5. Salma Hayek Cleavage
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    All I can say to those breasts is: We’re not worthy!

  6. Kim Kardashian
    Toxic Buddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Check list
    1. Have sex with black guy, make video. Check
    2.Sell Tape and complain. Check
    3.Get Famous for doing Number 1. Check
    4.Get fake reality show. Check
    5.Make a ton of money. Check
    6.Marry some sports guy. Check
    7.Lose ring and complain it got stolen.

  7. Paul Sorvino
    hbw
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at that penis button, is he Kelly Ripa’s dad?

  8. Jon

    picture kind of looks like she has a gun in her hand when you first look at it!

  9. Hilary Duff Butt
    hbw
    Commented on this photo:

    When I googled “Hilary Duff ATM”, this was not the picture I was hoping to see.

  10. Blake Lively Leonardo Dicaprio Italy
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Think I can hit that photographer from here with a flare?”

  11. Paul Sorvino
    Amy
    Commented on this photo:

    Can the paparazzi leave Arnold’s maid alone? She’s just trying to go grocery shopping.

  12. Nick Cannon
    Alison
    Commented on this photo:

    The babies are sitting around wearing onesies: “Bitch, you could’ve fooled me.”

  13. Hilary Duff Butt
    If roughing you is wrong, I dont want to be right
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be for a business meeting. The bermuda triangle should not be breathing.

  14. Coco Cleavage
    Cornbread
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure whatever is in that teensy bag from Agent Provocateur will flatter her petite frame beautifully. Especially if it’s holding jowl-clamps.

  15. Justin Bieber
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Jesus took his nose, and picked it, and gave his dried snot to his disciples and said, ‘Take, eat, this is my Maple Sugar.’ ” (Usher 26:26)

  16. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    She may be slimming down for her upcoming role on L&O SVU. Miriska wears a lot of jeans and skinny slacks on the show. Likely JLH will do the same. Hollywood trainers and lots of cash can do amazing things.

  17. Major Disaster

    “I’m a no gonna watch , I promise !

  18. Nick Cannon
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    In answer to his shirt.

    Nobody cares.

  19. Shania Twain Hollywood Walk Of Fame
    Poison Ivy League
    Commented on this photo:

    Are her breasts sad? Her nipples are looking down.

  20. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Cornbread
    Commented on this photo:

    White Oprah 2.0

  21. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    If this were a nameless hippie MILF I’d totally slam it.

  22. Emmy Rossum
    Commented on this photo:

    Cuter’n he-ell.

  23. Meg Ryan
    kec232
    Commented on this photo:

    You’ve Got Male

  24. Blake Lively Leonardo Dicaprio Italy
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    Blake: the photos *are* fake, Leo

    Leo: I know. Your ass is saggier and those nipples are just sensational. No offense, dear.

  25. Salma Hayek Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what the term “Dayum!” was invented for.

  26. January Jones
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    pushpins are holding her integrity together? because, that’s the message the shirt is giving me. or perhaps i’m reading too much into things.

  27. Justin Bieber
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    Dig, tug, dig, tug. ah, the demanding life of a talentless celebrity.

  28. Ashley Olsen
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe I just fucked Timberlake. now he’s bagged *everyone*

  29. Hayden Panettiere
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    young woman, mom jeans. bad combo.

  30. January Jones
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Another classy look from America’s favorite future homewrecker.

  31. Justin Bieber
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    One hand in the “pocket” and one in the nose. Typical teenager.

  32. Kendra Wilkinson
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, my blond friend always told me to stand next to a fat chick to look better….

  33. Coco Cleavage
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Such a dainty, delicate flower.

  34. Ashley Olsen
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh no, I didn’t just bang Justin Timberlake, did I? Damn, I did. Hell, where is that anti-bac handwash…I’m gonna need a bath in that shit….damn vodka shirley temples…

  35. Jack Nicholson
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeez, Ernest Borgnine’s getting old….

  36. Paul Sorvino
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    His skirt is caught in his crotch a la “people of walmart”.

  37. Jack Nicholson
    Aquiles Baeza
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG! Phillip Seymour Hoffman looks like shit!

  38. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Octomom?

  39. Audrina Patridge
    Aquiles Baeza
    Commented on this photo:

    I think metal fatigue is starting to set in…

  40. Salma Hayek Cleavage
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    As usual, Salma is classy and lovely. So nice to see a pic of a lady instead of these famewhores and booger pickers.

  41. Hilary Duff Butt
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    White heels with daisy dukes – a star is born. Blech!

  42. Paul Sorvino
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Paulie may have moved slow, but damn, did he have nice legs for a man.”

  43. Jack Nicholson
    Commented on this photo:

    Heeeeere’s Tubby.

  44. Meg Ryan
    Commented on this photo:

    Is her hairline receding?

  45. Audrina Patridge
    Commented on this photo:

    Back from giving the keynote speech at the Silicone Symposium.

  46. Michelle Hunziker Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my god, her ass is eating that zebra!

  47. Hilary Duff Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    Is her PIN number 6942?

  48. Coco Cleavage
    fapappy
    Commented on this photo:

    No..just ..no

  49. Paul Sorvino
    fapappy
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup..thats the look I’m goin for, thanks Mirror, you always did have my back.

  50. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    fapappy
    Commented on this photo:

    Her Indian name is Hiyawaddles.

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