The Crap We Missed – Friday 5.30.14

May 30th, 2014 // 365 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, where I’ve already blown my lefty liberal wad of the day on Mariah Carey‘s crazy cleavage, so I’m just going to point to to fat Rob Kardashian (HA, He’s so fucking fat!), clean and sober Lindsay Lohan and The Gay Mafia‘s failed hit attempt on Maria Menounos, because even they know her butt will eventually become sentient and make us all do terrible things.

*eyes glaze over* Yes, Lord Gluteon Bulbous Maximus…capture Jennifer Lopez and present her at the altar. As you wish…

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Commented on this photo:

    STD cramps?

  2. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    jbone
    Commented on this photo:

    The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the Goblin and took the spider out.

  3. Anthony Kiedis Wetsuit Surfboard
    Commented on this photo:

    I see camel nose.

  4. Aaron Paul Full Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Variety Studio
    Commented on this photo:

    “no…nobody has ever called me bitch before. that…that is a new one”

  5. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    …and then MacGyver took a paperclip, some duct tape, and a tablecloth and made an old fat man.

  6. Neil Patrick Harris Black Fingernail Polish 2014 Bookexpo America
    Commented on this photo:

    The “angry inch” is the first one…

  7. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Nut bra
    Commented on this photo:

    Eating his way through LA is probably pretty tame, all things considered. If I was related to that family I would go for the hard drugs.

  8. Maria Menounos Punched In Stomach By Men of The Strip Dancer Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Nick Carter’s all over the place. Dude is multi-talented.

  9. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    At some point you just know he is going to eat all the leather in that car. Here is a thought, if you are as fat as he is, walk to the gym or ride your bike there.

  10. Avril Lavigne Butt Leather Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate to mimic Don, but fuck it, I would. I wonder if she could call Danica McKellar over too?

  11. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, he’s still alive? I thought he died a long time ago.

  12. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    Nut bra
    Commented on this photo:

    I took some sugar, whipped cream, chocolate, and jelly…..

    ….and made some pies.

    MacGyver.

  13. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn thumbnail image – I had the perfect Jonah Hill joke.

  14. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    The famewhore is strong with this one.

  15. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Nut bra
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she might sneeze…..

    Everyone run!! This is how the world ends.

  16. Avril Lavigne Butt Leather Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see Andrew Dice Clay got a gig playing drums. Or is that some other random fat old guido?

  17. Prince Charles Medieval Church Transylvania
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why do all you creepy peasants keep asking me about blood pudding?”

  18. Nick Carter Dick Grab Backstreet Boys Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh god I feel sick! I think my dignity came back!”

  19. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    “If I painted myself purple to look like Grimace, could I eat at McDonald’s for free?”

  20. Aaron Paul Full Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Variety Studio
    gumbypokey
    Commented on this photo:

    Pinkmanberg

  21. Avril Lavigne Butt Leather Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    “This microphone reminds me of my husband. He doesn’t have balls either.”

  22. Aaron Paul Full Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Variety Studio
    Commented on this photo:

    “Was I in a movie called Need for Speed?… No. I was in Breaking Bad. I never heard of that other movie.”

  23. Maria Menounos Punched In Stomach By Men of The Strip Dancer Extra
    fuckface
    Commented on this photo:

    HADOOOOOKEN!!!

  24. Debi Mazar Nipples Tight Face
    fuckface
    Commented on this photo:

    her forehead i sooooo Big….
    she doesn’t have dreams, she has movies!

  25. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    Fun Fact
    Commented on this photo:

    Neither of them is Italian

  26. Penn Badgley Hipster Suit Open Shirt Chest Hair The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay Buckingham wants his look back.

  27. Frank Stallone Leather Patches On Jeans
    fuckface
    Commented on this photo:

    “ADRI-AIN”T!!!”

  28. Keanu Reeves High Tired LAX
    fuckface
    Commented on this photo:

    “ADRI-AIN”T!!!”

  29. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    Bishop
    Commented on this photo:

    MacGUTver

  30. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Bishop
    Commented on this photo:

    Taken just a second before she sneeze-farted-sharted

  31. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    Bishop
    Commented on this photo:

    JCow & Wookie

  32. Michael Strahan Winking Amy Robach GMA
    Bishop
    Commented on this photo:

    Michael just smelt the SBD that Amy just dealt,

  33. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the gardener has been busy.

  34. Keanu Reeves High Tired LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    His nose looks more asian now than ever. He used to have a fine-mouldered nose, and now here’s a snout.

  35. Maria Menounos Punched In Stomach By Men of The Strip Dancer Extra
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    FALCON PUNCH!!!!

  36. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    Margaret
    Commented on this photo:

    MacGumbo.

  37. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    Margaret
    Commented on this photo:

    n’cheese

  38. Keanu Reeves High Tired LAX
    Pattie Cake
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s cute!

  39. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, never saw a gym with wipers and a dashboard.

  40. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    Commented on this photo:

    JWoww can’t stop looking at this tasty little snack. Mexican, it’s what’s for dinner.

  41. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    He dropped in to cancel his membership.

  42. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he looks pretty good for 64 years old.

  43. Prince Charles Medieval Church Transylvania
    Commented on this photo:

    “I believe this is why it’s called Spotted Dick.”

  44. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong
    Commented on this photo:

    So fucking hot.

  45. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    poorguy
    Commented on this photo:

    I really feel for this dude. He obviously was a mistake! He was born into a family of all girls that has made all the men in their lives either die or go away. He’s already gone he just doesn’t know it yet! He has NOTHING to offer that family, NADA! At least the other guys in the loop get pussy, this guy can’t even get THAT!

  46. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    hihihih
    Commented on this photo:

    Jwow got J-clawed by the fugly stick!

  47. Anthony Kiedis Wetsuit Surfboard
    Commented on this photo:

    *boop*

  48. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong
    Gumpty
    Commented on this photo:

    Has she got a bad case of toilet seat ring?? What are those marks?

  49. Michael Strahan Winking Amy Robach GMA
    Danimal
    Commented on this photo:

    This morning, in honor of public health week: Michael demonstrates early warning signs of a stroke. Then later on the show, Amy will complete her metamorphosis to a zombie. Stay tuned!

  50. Penn Badgley Hipster Suit Open Shirt Chest Hair The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    This must be a deleted scene from “Edward Scissorhands” where he negs Winona Ryder and goes crying to Reddit because she keeps dating an asshole and won’t give a Nice Guy a chance.

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