The Crap We Missed – Friday 5.30.14

May 30th, 2014 // 365 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, where I’ve already blown my lefty liberal wad of the day on Mariah Carey‘s crazy cleavage, so I’m just going to point to to fat Rob Kardashian (HA, He’s so fucking fat!), clean and sober Lindsay Lohan and The Gay Mafia‘s failed hit attempt on Maria Menounos, because even they know her butt will eventually become sentient and make us all do terrible things.

*eyes glaze over* Yes, Lord Gluteon Bulbous Maximus…capture Jennifer Lopez and present her at the altar. As you wish…

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Rebel Yellow.

  2. Neil Patrick Harris Black Fingernail Polish 2014 Bookexpo America
    kravdan
    Commented on this photo:

    Ian McKellen now looks younger than Doogie…sad face

  3. Keanu Reeves High Tired LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Keanu Reeves at LAX. (May 29, 2014)
    Keanu Reeves at LAX. (May 29, 2018)
    Keanu Reeves at LAX. (May 29, 2022)
    Keanu Reeves at LAX. (May 29, 2026)
    Keanu Reeves at LAX. (May 29, 2030)

  4. Amber Heard Butt Leather Pants The Adderall Diaries Set
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    The moment before she catches Johnny Depp running line wrapped in plastic wrap getting pegged by BDSM mistress in biker leathers [see tender inter-racial love scene from Pulp Fiction.]

  5. Amber Heard Butt Leather Pants The Adderall Diaries Set
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I liked her up until she hooked up with Johnny Depp. Now I think she’s an idiot.

  6. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    JCoww and Ewok after being kicked out of ‘Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars’ before filming even started.

  7. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He showed up for that guy’s birthday party…he’s alright in my books.

  8. Khloe Kardashian Huge Fat Ass Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Those sandals were 6-inch stilettos when she left the house this morning.

  9. Prince Charles Medieval Church Transylvania
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Has the monster carried of Camilla yet?

  10. Frank Stallone Leather Patches On Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Ray Morono.

  11. Michael Strahan Winking Amy Robach GMA
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing someone is pissed that she didn’t get flowers or a phone call the next day.

  12. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Head injuries are no laughing matter people.

  13. Keanu Reeves High Tired LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    I stared at this picture for 3 straight minutes before I realized there is no spoon.

  14. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, let me blunt…the ratio of Alec Baldwin pics to Ireland Baldwin’s ass pics is getting far too high around these parts.

  15. Nick Carter Dick Grab Backstreet Boys Performance
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Hernias are a bitch

  16. Debi Mazar Nipples Tight Face
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She was really hot in something once. What was it?

  17. Aaron Paul Full Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Variety Studio
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    This live-action Inspector Gadget reboot is going to suck

  18. Neil Patrick Harris Black Fingernail Polish 2014 Bookexpo America
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s either a closted Goth or there’s something really wrong with his metabolism.

  19. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh shit, she’s going to sneeze! Someone get a huge bag and make sure the cops don’t pull us over!”

  20. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    Patty and Selma are going to be thrilled to find out he’s in their league now.

  21. Prince Charles Medieval Church Transylvania
    Commented on this photo:

    I say old bean, don’t start none won’t be none.

  22. Frank Stallone Leather Patches On Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Kneepads are kneepads, buddy, sorry to tell you.

  23. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Snooki, girl, I love you but we need to get inside before I eat you”

  24. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t care. He’s Billy fucking Idol. ♥

  25. Neil Patrick Harris Black Fingernail Polish 2014 Bookexpo America
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m liking the 1930′s shopkeeper look

  26. Michael Strahan Winking Amy Robach GMA
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “White bitches, amirite?”

  27. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    margaret
    Commented on this photo:

    Billy Idol Badger don’t give a shit!

  28. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong
    Commented on this photo:

    I like a woman that knows her place. On her back with her legs in the air.

  29. Khloe Kardashian Huge Fat Ass Tight Jeans
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Kicking her ass would be fun. I don’t mean beating her up…I mean kicking that great big ass.

  30. Aaron Paul Full Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Variety Studio
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t look, but I think Photo Boy is right behind you.”
    “THE Photo Boy? Lemme…”
    “I said DON’T LOOK, BITCH!”

  31. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    “GET IN MY TUMMY!”

  32. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    You cannot wear high heeled snowshoes in London and pretend you’re sober. Sorry, Linds.

  33. Maria Menounos Punched In Stomach By Men of The Strip Dancer Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    In a cruel trick of science the polarity created by Maria clenching her two big ol’ ass cheeks together created a powerful magnetic field which caused a 200lb topless gay dancer to almost touch her, after which she involuntarily punched him. In some street cultures this is known as the Menounos Maneuver.

  34. Frank Stallone Leather Patches On Jeans
    bob
    Commented on this photo:

    lol, nice jeans

  35. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    My mom used to tell me that if I someone scared me while I was making faces, I’d be stuck looking that way forever. Guess Billy was raised by a by a negligent mother.

  36. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Did he have a stroke?

  37. Cara Santana Sports Bra Yoga Pants
    Jake
    Commented on this photo:

    Black Magic Woman, indeed!

  38. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    JWoww doesn’t have teeth anymore, it seems. Good.

  39. Avril Lavigne Butt Leather Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Trying so hard… failing so miserably.

  40. Neil Patrick Harris Black Fingernail Polish 2014 Bookexpo America
    Niekon
    Commented on this photo:

    His weight loss was for a role on Broadway… Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

    • gumbypokey

      I noticed his gradual weight loss over the last 2 seasons of the show, which was not unusual, but then seeing this kinda alarmed me. Good to hear it’s not a health issue.

  41. Prince Charles Medieval Church Transylvania
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    This lad is related to Count Dracula? Seriously?

  42. Amber Heard Butt Leather Pants The Adderall Diaries Set
    Dick Thunder
    Commented on this photo:

    Adderal or noassatall?

  43. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Was the gym having a 2-for-1 deal on cheeseburgers?

  44. Avril Lavigne Butt Leather Booty Shorts
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Her pretend sexy girl is every bit as convincing as her pretend punk rock.

  45. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    No way–I go there too!

  46. Aaron Paul Full Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Variety Studio
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Save us, Old West Fonzi!

  47. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    “General, we need you back with the Stargate Program!”

    “I can’t do it.”

    “Is it because you’re still conflicted about the tough moral decisions you had to make back then?”

    “No, I can’t fit through the stargate.”

  48. Nick Carter Dick Grab Backstreet Boys Performance
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    “I fucked Paris, once. And Lindsay. Hell, I’ve even done your mom.”

  49. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    Commented on this photo:

    This wasn’t the one I expected to have gone full retard.

  50. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Driver: “I’m not allowed to speed, ma’am.”

    Lindsay: “No, it’s okay to speed. I just had a miscarriage.”

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