The Crap We Missed – Friday 5.30.14

May 30th, 2014 // 365 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, where I’ve already blown my lefty liberal wad of the day on Mariah Carey‘s crazy cleavage, so I’m just going to point to to fat Rob Kardashian (HA, He’s so fucking fat!), clean and sober Lindsay Lohan and The Gay Mafia‘s failed hit attempt on Maria Menounos, because even they know her butt will eventually become sentient and make us all do terrible things.

*eyes glaze over* Yes, Lord Gluteon Bulbous Maximus…capture Jennifer Lopez and present her at the altar. As you wish…

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    Hilaria is seriously cute.

  2. Frank Stallone Leather Patches On Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Two surprising things I learned today. Frank Stallone is alive, and somebody felt like taking his picture.

  3. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly, her rehab was a roaring success.

  4. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes the burning sensation would abruptly become too much for her to bear, even through the drug and alcohol haze.

  5. Frank Stallone Leather Patches On Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Who?

  6. Prince Charles Medieval Church Transylvania
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is the next king of England at a picnic with Bobby Bacala from the Sopranos?

  7. Keanu Reeves High Tired LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Great guy.

  8. Penn Badgley Hipster Suit Open Shirt Chest Hair The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Beltliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Call the lab that grew this John Mayer clone, and have them send two Kelly Brooks over to my office!

  9. Anthony Kiedis Wetsuit Surfboard
    Commented on this photo:

    I did not need to see his Chili Pepper.

  10. Anthony Kiedis Wetsuit Surfboard
    Commented on this photo:

    I see the socks they used to wear in the 80s were a bit generous.

  11. Aaron Paul Full Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Variety Studio
    Commented on this photo:

    “What are you doing today?”

    “Oh nothing. Just hanging at the Variety Studio powered by Samsung Galaxy at Palihouse.”

  12. Neil Patrick Harris Black Fingernail Polish 2014 Bookexpo America
    DEADLY STD
    Commented on this photo:

    AIDS is a bitch. I give this poor guy a year.
    He’s dropped 15lbs since the last episode of his show.
    That’s not exercise, that’s loss of muscle mass. Sad…

    • Yeah, because no actor’s weight ever yo-yos between projects. Go fuck yourself, idiot.

    • He lost the weight for his starring role in the Broadway Production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

      The black fingernails are part of the role.

      When his run on Broadway ends he’ll gain back his weight, and remove the nail paint, but you’ll continue to be an asshole.

    • Perhaps he is an idiot for jumping to what appears to be a wrong conclusion but he wrote ‘sad’…perhaps if he made smiley face instead that would make him an asshole. And I don’t think you can argue that AIDS is not a bitch…maybe not as much as it was in the 80′s but still a bitch no less.

  13. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Swimsuit Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Is her body stuck in that position?

  14. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    Since when is “drivethru” spelled “G-Y-M”?

  15. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Swimsuit Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Great ass but I feel like I’ve seen this before.

  16. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    Did you just take a picture of my wife you cocksucker?

  17. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    “Rob Kardashian ate the gym”

    Fixed it.

  18. Khloe Kardashian Huge Fat Ass Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’d be able to fit in the car park a lot better if she reversed in.

  19. Anthony Kiedis Wetsuit Surfboard
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this mustache make my penis look small?

  20. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture entitles her to a free pass if she says anything as ridiculous Charlize or Gwyneth

    • Mike

      Never mention Charlize Theron in the same sentence as Gwenyth Paltrow! Theron is likeable, while Gwenyth… oofah!

  21. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    cuddles
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, her head’s gotten so fat it’s giving her scrunch face. (Can be said about either of them, really.)

  22. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    ♪♩ WITH A REBEL YELL ♩♪
    ♩♪ SHE CRIED GNAAARGH UUURRRRR GYAAAAAH ♩♪

  23. Maria Menounos Punched In Stomach By Men of The Strip Dancer Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    What a piece of ass she is.

  24. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s right, bitches, now I’m the Pretty One.”

  25. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Reminds me I have to start the linguini with clam sauce.

  26. Debi Mazar Nipples Tight Face
    Commented on this photo:

    the original butterface.

  27. Khloe Kardashian Huge Fat Ass Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Waiting on the cattle truck.

  28. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Swimsuit Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Has anyone seen her actually, you know, surf?

  29. Frank Stallone Leather Patches On Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, he was in Barfly, one of the best movies ever. So he at least gets some points for that.

  30. Debi Mazar Nipples Tight Face
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who’s more startled by her fivehead: me or her nipples.

  31. Prince Charles Medieval Church Transylvania
    Commented on this photo:

    All churches are medieval.

  32. Penn Badgley Hipster Suit Open Shirt Chest Hair The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘The Joyful Heart Foundation Presents: The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration in New York City’

    So the invites were printed on legal size paper?

  33. Michael Strahan Winking Amy Robach GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he just fucked her in the ass and she looks like he just fucked her in the ass.

  34. Penn Badgley Hipster Suit Open Shirt Chest Hair The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Derk The Jerk
    Commented on this photo:

    Tim Burton & Johnny Depp’s lovechild has finally been released.

  35. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong
    Commented on this photo:

    Tanning the bottom of her feet??

  36. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    A drive-thru gym? Man, those people in LA thought of everything.

  37. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    Commented on this photo:

    How are these two still relevant?

  38. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Swimsuit Instagram
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    One trick pony when it comes to her instagram photos. But it’s a nice trick.

  39. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she wants to fuck the photog.

  40. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Swimsuit Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    No one has made a “showing off her ASSets joke” yet? You guys are really off your game today.

  41. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the only thing he can’t escape is aging.

  42. Keanu Reeves High Tired LAX
    poopy
    Commented on this photo:

    He is awesome.

  43. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    How the hell are these two still on TV?

  44. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    ” Out of the way fuckers there is a Krispy Kreme that needs eating!”

  45. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m sorry Richard but you can’t fit thru the Star-gate!”

  46. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Jesus H. Christ
    Commented on this photo:

    Get better Rob. I know how tough it can be to be stuck in a vicious cycle of depression and emotional eating. Being a pothead always makes that shit way worse too.

    Prayin’ for you dude.

  47. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Swimsuit Instagram
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    ♫♫♫ Whatcha go ‘n’ do to get into another one of these here rock ‘n’ roll songs? ♫♫♫

  48. Nick Carter Dick Grab Backstreet Boys Performance
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    This is who taught Miley about the power of an on stage diddle.

  49. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Commented on this photo:

    I would rather she not be leaving the Chiltern house fire.

  50. Penn Badgley Hipster Suit Open Shirt Chest Hair The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    What a joyful event.

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