The Crap We Missed – Friday 5.30.14

May 30th, 2014 // 365 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, where I’ve already blown my lefty liberal wad of the day on Mariah Carey‘s crazy cleavage, so I’m just going to point to to fat Rob Kardashian (HA, He’s so fucking fat!), clean and sober Lindsay Lohan and The Gay Mafia‘s failed hit attempt on Maria Menounos, because even they know her butt will eventually become sentient and make us all do terrible things.

*eyes glaze over* Yes, Lord Gluteon Bulbous Maximus…capture Jennifer Lopez and present her at the altar. As you wish…

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Avril Lavigne Butt Leather Booty Shorts
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooh, a dirty girl! Me likey!

  2. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Swimsuit Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Can she just change her name to ‘Assley’ to be consistent with how i pronounce it?

  3. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Swimsuit Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello Ms. Assley. She is a sight for sore penis.

  4. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s gonna keep doing her usual shit unless we stop talking about her and indulging her addiction for attention. Just saying, it’s just pathetic at this point.

  5. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Swimsuit Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Sings (to the tune of the Beach Boys’ “Fun Fun Fun”):

    She’ll have Buns Buns Buns
    Till Father Time takes her booty awaaaaaay

  6. Nick Carter Dick Grab Backstreet Boys Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember what I said about crabs being almost extinct a few days ago? I did say “almost”.

  7. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Swimsuit Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    yawn

  8. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    More like “Rob Kardashian pulling up to the gym before going ‘fuck it’ and driving off for a few cheeseburgers.”

  9. Aaron Paul Full Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Variety Studio
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the few young hipster dudes who doesn’t make me nauseous.

  10. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Commented on this photo:

    Wrong tagline.

    Should read: “Lindsay Lohan leaving the Chiltern Firehouse in London COMPLETELY SOBER.”

  11. Penn Badgley Hipster Suit Open Shirt Chest Hair The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    I call him Baby John Mayer.

  12. Nick Carter Dick Grab Backstreet Boys Performance
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I love this song about 401Ks

  13. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    On the floor of Tokyo
    Or down in London town to go, go
    With the record selection
    And the mirror’s reflection
    I’m dancing with myself

    When there’s no-one else in sight
    In the crowded lonely night
    Well I wait so long
    For my love vibration
    And I’m dancing with myself

    Oh dancing with myself
    Oh dancing with myself
    Well there’s nothing to lose
    And there’s nothing to prove
    I’ll be dancing with myself

    If I looked all over the world
    And there’s every type of girl
    But your empty eyes
    Seem to pass me by
    Leave me dancing with myself

  14. Keanu Reeves High Tired LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    that guy looks good for 49

  15. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    That dress is GORGEOUS and I want it!

  16. Maria Menounos Punched In Stomach By Men of The Strip Dancer Extra
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Haha, of course, we’re all straight, you little scamp.’

  17. Maria Menounos Punched In Stomach By Men of The Strip Dancer Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Maria often asks people to punch her in the stomach to see how strong her abs are. I’m not joking. She did it on “Conan” a while back.

    I wonder if she’s interested in finding out how strong her butt is. I’m not going to punch it (unless she asks me to), but what I will do does involve a thrusting motion.

  18. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Commented on this photo:

    where are the tits? are they sagging that bad that they’re in her lap? drugs ‘r bad mmmmkay.

  19. Avril Lavigne Butt Leather Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s always been pretty sexy. I would.

  20. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    MOOOOOO!

  21. Aaron Paul Full Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Variety Studio
    Commented on this photo:

    Nah, the beard isn’t working.

  22. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    JWoww?

  23. Cara Santana Sports Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    The pad goes on the inside of your clothes honey…

  24. Nick Carter Dick Grab Backstreet Boys Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    What is it lately with singers playing with their vaginas on stage?

  25. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Commented on this photo:

    How’s that sobriety going? Good? Good.

  26. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, his face stayed like that.

  27. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    Little known fact: His gym has an awesome snack bar.

  28. Cara Santana Sports Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that the new anti-cameltoe device? You win this round, Cara. But I’ll be back!

  29. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Judging by the fact that a lot of people say “Dancing With Myself” is about masturbation, I don’t think I’d want this book.

  30. Amber Heard Butt Leather Pants The Adderall Diaries Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I agree with Veronika’s comments on feminism in the other post.

    pause

    Ooh, what an ass on this chick!

  31. Khloe Kardashian Huge Fat Ass Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Those cutouts weren’t there when she bought the shirt. They were added so she could breathe in it.

  32. Nick Carter Dick Grab Backstreet Boys Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    With enough hip thrusts and sweat he’s hoping to expunge the ParisHiltonitis strain of herpes out of his system.

  33. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t worry, he can lose the weight by making something out of a wad of chewed gum, a hairclip and a Playboy magazine from 1984.

  34. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark, where they opened the ark and the Nazi’s face melted and you only saw his skull and eyeballs? For some reason, that scene just popped into my head.

  35. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Commented on this photo:

    Definitely sober. As sober as a monk.

  36. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Backseat Of Car Leaving Chiltern Firehouse
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we all just agree that’s her mouth’s normal resting position?

  37. Penn Badgley Hipster Suit Open Shirt Chest Hair The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he can give Robin Williams a run for the title of ‘Hairiest Celebrity”.

  38. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who’s fatter now, midget??”

  39. Amber Heard Butt Leather Pants The Adderall Diaries Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Very nice.

  40. Khloe Kardashian Huge Fat Ass Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Now where did I put that six pack of snickers…

  41. Rob Kardashian Fat Double Chin Gym
    Commented on this photo:

    “Gym” is street for “Hometown Buffet”

  42. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    Alec Baldwin next to the letter FU. The photographer should get a Pulitzer prize.

  43. Michael Strahan Winking Amy Robach GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s squeezing one out…

  44. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    More like “Big Mac-Gyver” AMIRITE?!?

  45. Maria Menounos Punched In Stomach By Men of The Strip Dancer Extra
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, guys, show me what you’d do at the end of a really successful first date!”

  46. Billy Idol Derpface Dancing With Myself Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Spike from “Buffy” is looking rough.

  47. Khloe Kardashian Huge Fat Ass Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    What a nice picture of an attractive woman. Come on, who is that really?

  48. JWoww Pregnant Fat Bloated Face Snooki Cleavage Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Did they make a pregnancy pact or something. Or was it just in their contract with MTV?

  49. Richard Dean Anderson 23rd Annual FedCon Press Conference
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He should MacGyver a lap band.

  50. Avril Lavigne Butt Leather Booty Shorts
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t see any dollar bills stuffed into those stockings. Guess it wasn’t a very good show.

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