The Crap We Missed – Friday 5.17.13

May 17th, 2013 // 235 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where we take a ton of paparazzi celebrity coverage and water it all down to the douchiest of canoes for you to point and laugh at. So today’s ego boosters include John Goodman cropdusting the loading zone at LAX, Justin Bieber and his boys on a Tic-Tac run like some straight up thugs, and Anthony Hopkins wearing snakeskin shoes to the American Idol finale, to which I was all like “WTF?!” until I remembered The Wolfman, so, nevermind this totally checks out.

Anyone want to tell Keith Richards that pole’s not actually Mick Jagger? Nah, forget it, he seems like he’s really enjoying himself,

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INF Daily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Rihanna Butt Tight Skirt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    First come, first served

  2. Keith Richards Holding Onto Pole
    Supermarket Mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, he’s now a male pole dancer, who’d have thunk!

  3. Amber Rose Fat Legs
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    LOLOLOL V’ger

  4. Amber Rose Fat Legs
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if they decorated her for Easter.

  5. Piper Perabo Nipples No Bra USA Nework Upfronts
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Piper Paraboobs

  6. Jeremy Renner Walking Small Dog
    celebutard
    Commented on this photo:

    Did this picture come from one of those ‘dogs that look like their owners’ websites?

  7. Ian Somerhalder Buying Hair Brush
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s gonna wash that girl right outta his hair.

  8. Sofia Vergara Cleavage USA Nework Upfronts
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s the Joker’s long lost sister.

  9. John Goodman Farting
    Commented on this photo:

    God, please just let this be a fart, not like last time!

  10. Jeremy Renner Walking Small Dog
    juju
    Commented on this photo:

    Yo Dawg , I heard you like pugs. So I put a pug near another pug.

  11. Laurence Fishburne
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s practicing his Hannibal tricked me into eating people, scowl.

  12. President Obama Eric Holder Janet Napolitano 32nd Annual National Peace Officers Memorial Service
    doritojoe
    Commented on this photo:

    Obama: “First I heard about this event was when I saw myself in the crowd on TV.”

    Holder: “I have no recollection of being here.”

    Napolitano: “I’d love to stick my face between the hooters on that babe!”

  13. Ian Somerhalder Buying Hair Brush
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ian, This is your agent. Put down the powder doughnuts and go to the gym.”

  14. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    alessa
    Commented on this photo:

    Only a matter of time until he walks head first into a pole.

  15. President Obama Eric Holder Janet Napolitano 32nd Annual National Peace Officers Memorial Service
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ah, dammit, is that Al Roker again?”

  16. Will Smith Jaden Smith After Earth Photocall Miami Science Museum
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    “Keep talking shit boy, cause I’m about to emancipate your head from the rest of you.”

  17. Christopher Lambert Kissing Gold Pen
    Commented on this photo:

    Does anyone have those corn cob holders that look like tiny ears of corn? I loved those growing up. They’re so cute. I’m not sure why you’d put a tiny ear of corn on a pen, though.

  18. Nicki Minaj Huge Butt Tight White Jeans American Idol Grand Finale
    Commented on this photo:

    “Are you okay Nicki?”
    “Yeah. My feet were cold so I buckled two rabbits to them.”

  19. Amber Rose Fat Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone else notice that none of the pictures of her we’ve seen lately includes the baby?

  20. Ian Somerhalder Buying Hair Brush
    Commented on this photo:

    All duded up for a night on the town, I see.

  21. Sofia Vergara Cleavage USA Nework Upfronts
    Commented on this photo:

    While she is very pretty and sexy as hell (read: nice tits), she’s beginning to bore the living shit right out of me. Enough already!

  22. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    Commented on this photo:

    “I swear…We thought he was Hillary Swank!”

  23. Anthony Hopkins White Glasses Snakeskin Boots American Idol Grand Finale
    Commented on this photo:

    “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Allow me to introduce my family: on my right is my wife, Nice Chianti, and on my left is our daughter, Fava Beans.”

  24. Nicki Minaj Huge Butt Tight White Jeans American Idol Grand Finale
    Commented on this photo:

    Nicely-shaped ass, but someone needs to tell her butts aren’t supposed to be the size of wrecking balls.

  25. President Obama Eric Holder Janet Napolitano 32nd Annual National Peace Officers Memorial Service
    Commented on this photo:

    “A cop gets up in the morning, shits, showers and shaves, eats a good breakfast, then heads off to work. During his tour he pulls a guy over who puts a bullet in the officer’s brain. Just goes to show you, sometimes life just sucks!”

  26. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh shit! we got photographed with Justin Beiber! Well… There goes our street cred!”

  27. Halle Berry Bra See Through Shirt Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Halle, go smoke a joint or something. You look depressed and terrible.

  28. John Goodman Farting
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yabba-dabba…don’t you DARE run over my foot with that thing!”

  29. Paris Hilton River Viiperi Make Out Gotha Club Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes this woman forgets herself, and where she is. Case in point: she seems to be wearing panties. What the fuck’s that all about?

  30. Ian Somerhalder Buying Hair Brush
    Commented on this photo:

    More like Ian Smolderharder amirite?

  31. Sofia Vergara Cleavage USA Nework Upfronts
    Commented on this photo:

    those eyebrows are too much…she looks like a cat, never found her face attractive

  32. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, it looks like Bieber got taller and a bit dusky-hued…oops! Wrong guy.

  33. Ian Somerhalder Buying Hair Brush
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Receiving instructions of which tampons to get.

  34. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    Commented on this photo:

    I just noticed the tall guy is wearing a cross around his neck. He must be Bieber’s spiritual advisor.

  35. Anthony Hopkins White Glasses Snakeskin Boots American Idol Grand Finale
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonder who picked out his shoes?

  36. President Obama Eric Holder Janet Napolitano 32nd Annual National Peace Officers Memorial Service
    Commented on this photo:

    is it 2016 yet?

  37. Halle Berry Bra See Through Shirt Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    cute baby bump

  38. Maria Fowler Nipples See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    cute body, generic plastic face, ugly hair

  39. Amber Rose Fat Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    FATTTT thunder thighs

  40. Paris Hilton River Viiperi Make Out Gotha Club Cannes
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess the kid is still confused about his sexuality.

  41. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy behind the counter was going to push the silent alarm button, but then he broke into uncontrollable laughter.

  42. Anthony Hopkins White Glasses Snakeskin Boots American Idol Grand Finale
    Commented on this photo:

    Those glasses… those shoes… wtf.

  43. Maria Fowler Nipples See Through Shirt
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Fresh from the Page 3 factory assembly line. Now with new and improved bolt-ons.

  44. AnnaSophia Robb Cleavage Tight Skirt CW Upfronts
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    The dress was clearly made from scraps of cloth laying around.

  45. Laurence Fishburne
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did you just call me Mr. Shatner?”

  46. Jenna Dewan Nipples Pregnant Belly
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Tis the season to be knocked up in Hollywood.

  47. Halle Berry Bra See Through Shirt Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, you really have to film her JUST right!

  48. Jeremy Renner Walking Small Dog
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like they are both looking for a fire hydrant.

  49. Will Smith Jaden Smith After Earth Photocall Miami Science Museum
    Commented on this photo:

    The black version of Justin Bieber.

  50. John Goodman Farting
    Commented on this photo:

    Great news for John Goodman! Much like Pluto, scientists have now downgraded him to a “dwarf planet”

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