The Crap We Missed – Friday 5.17.13

May 17th, 2013 // 235 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where we take a ton of paparazzi celebrity coverage and water it all down to the douchiest of canoes for you to point and laugh at. So today’s ego boosters include John Goodman cropdusting the loading zone at LAX, Justin Bieber and his boys on a Tic-Tac run like some straight up thugs, and Anthony Hopkins wearing snakeskin shoes to the American Idol finale, to which I was all like “WTF?!” until I remembered The Wolfman, so, nevermind this totally checks out.

Anyone want to tell Keith Richards that pole’s not actually Mick Jagger? Nah, forget it, he seems like he’s really enjoying himself,

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INF Daily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Rihanna Butt Tight Skirt Instagram
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    Jump!!! Please jump.

  2. Rihanna Butt Tight Skirt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Chris! Chris! She peeped your phone! I saw it!
    Do it!

  3. Laurence Fishburne
    Dinky
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ! When did Laurence Fishburn have his head implanted on a white mans body?

  4. Sofia Vergara Cleavage USA Nework Upfronts
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how her hair just flows off her boobs…
    I love boobs is what I’m getting at…

  5. President Obama Eric Holder Janet Napolitano 32nd Annual National Peace Officers Memorial Service
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking idiot.

    • Sorry…wasn’t referring “just” to Obama. I meant it as plural to include the others. Can you guys ever forgive me for such a serious blunder against all that is patriotic and free?

  6. President Obama Eric Holder Janet Napolitano 32nd Annual National Peace Officers Memorial Service
    Commented on this photo:

    DAT ASS….

  7. John Goodman Farting
    Commented on this photo:

    I see he’s on the Jonah Hill diet…

  8. Paris Hilton River Viiperi Make Out Gotha Club Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have aids…”
    “I know….”

  9. Rihanna Butt Tight Skirt Instagram
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey! I see Chris! I better jump down and give him a hug! Be right back!”

  10. AnnaSophia Robb Cleavage Tight Skirt CW Upfronts
    Commented on this photo:

    Pedobear approves… Wait.. She’s 20? Screw it…

  11. Sofia Vergara Cleavage USA Nework Upfronts
    Commented on this photo:

    Sofia Vergara’s Mexican upfronts at the USA upfronts.

  12. Will Smith Jaden Smith After Earth Photocall Miami Science Museum
    Commented on this photo:

    “Eww dad, I think I saw Kendall’s tits….”
    “That’s my boy…”

  13. Jeremy Renner Walking Small Dog
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, the dog is not helping…

  14. Keith Richards Holding Onto Pole
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty sure Keith Richards defeated the angel of death and tried to smoke him…

  15. Paris Hilton River Viiperi Make Out Gotha Club Cannes
    Syph Phallus
    Commented on this photo:

    Whores gonna whore!

    • CrashHell

      Yeah, that whole “Crissy Teigan” thing has me confused. This is a whore? Ho? Slut? Ho Slut Whore-bag? Role Model?

  16. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yo dawg. You got any scratch-n-sniff stickers? I luv me sum cherry. You got cherry, niggah?”

  17. Rihanna Butt Tight Skirt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “Imma push that bitch over that rail…with my dick. What?” – Chris Brown

  18. Anthony Hopkins White Glasses Snakeskin Boots American Idol Grand Finale
    Commented on this photo:

    “Once they announced the winner, there was no silencing these lambs. Ha. Yes, well, off to kill myself. Pip pip.”

  19. John Goodman Farting
    Commented on this photo:

    Chaz Bono has really let himself go.

  20. John Goodman Farting
    Commented on this photo:

    Walter is catching that flight to find that elusive stranger in the Alps.

  21. Paris Hilton River Viiperi Make Out Gotha Club Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Little did River know, her herpes cannon was already drawing aim.

  22. Ian Somerhalder Buying Hair Brush
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a man who really does need all those hair maintenance products.

  23. Rihanna Butt Tight Skirt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Curse our contemporary building and safety codes! Damn you all to hell!

  24. Ian Somerhalder Buying Hair Brush
    Commented on this photo:

    7 of these items are going in his ass. The other one is an iPhone.

  25. Paris Hilton River Viiperi Make Out Gotha Club Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Shh..listen. You can actually hear the contagion spreading.

  26. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    Commented on this photo:

    “Blunt or blunts? And are we drinking 40′s or grape drank tonight? Whichever is fine. I’m just from the suburbs, so I don’t really know these things. Did you leave my whip running?”

  27. Christopher Lambert Kissing Gold Pen
    Commented on this photo:

    There can be only one…autograph!

  28. Anthony Hopkins White Glasses Snakeskin Boots American Idol Grand Finale
    Commented on this photo:

    I walked along the avenue.
    I never thought I’d meet a girl like you;
    Meet a girl like you.
    With auburn hair and tawny eyes;
    The kind of eyes that hypnotize me through;
    Hypnotize me through.

  29. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s Judge Reinhold with a pot of hot coffee, when you need him?

  30. President Obama Eric Holder Janet Napolitano 32nd Annual National Peace Officers Memorial Service
    Commented on this photo:

    The three idiots

  31. Ian Somerhalder Buying Hair Brush
    Commented on this photo:

    Did he gain weight?

  32. Will Smith Jaden Smith After Earth Photocall Miami Science Museum
    Commented on this photo:

    “Would you at least make it look like I have some control over you? These pictures are going to be in People.”

  33. President Obama Eric Holder Janet Napolitano 32nd Annual National Peace Officers Memorial Service
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t look at me, I used H&R Block.”

  34. Nicki Minaj Huge Butt Tight White Jeans American Idol Grand Finale
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like her Depends are full.

  35. Laurence Fishburne
    Commented on this photo:

    Morpheus: “”The Matrix is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. The truth is I have a white dudes arm”

  36. Jenna Dewan Nipples Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m enjoying the unseasonably cool weather.

  37. Amber Rose Fat Legs
    Rico Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only guy that would be interested in seeing what she looks like naked right now? I’m just curious.

  38. Christopher Lambert Kissing Gold Pen
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    There can be only one…hit from the vape pen. Seriously, that’s all I got.

  39. Jenna Dewan Nipples Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Jenna and Laurence Fishburne are in the same trimester.

  40. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I read somewhere that Bieber had to leave his pet monkey in Germany, but it looks as though he went right out and bought a couple bigger ones.

  41. Paris Hilton River Viiperi Make Out Gotha Club Cannes
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    Well past her prime, Hilton now subdues males using a Muy Thai double knee strike, while at the same time breaking the neck. Stunned and paralyzed, males are then taken to a basement studio and forced to hear Hilton sing “Stars Are Blind”.

  42. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “ummm, yeah, we be here for some job applications….”

  43. Will Smith Jaden Smith After Earth Photocall Miami Science Museum
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just suck it son….the Lizard Alien King in the mountain told me to do this”

  44. Jeremy Renner Walking Small Dog
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Well i dont know about you guys, but he’s definitely not gay after seeing this picture…

  45. President Obama Eric Holder Janet Napolitano 32nd Annual National Peace Officers Memorial Service
    Commented on this photo:

    “F** did you say? Somebody’s getting an audit.”

  46. Keith Richards Holding Onto Pole
    Commented on this photo:

    Contemplating the possibilities for a heroin needle.

  47. Justin Bieber Black Crew Gas Station
    Commented on this photo:

    Yo, Ding Dong, man. Ding Dong. Ding Dong yo.

  48. Amber Rose Fat Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Ilia the Probe has returned from V’ger, to order the Kirk Unit to find the creator.

  49. Christopher Lambert Kissing Gold Pen
    Commented on this photo:

    “In that time, I’ve had three wives. The last was Shakiko, a Japanese princess. Her father, Masamune, a genius, made this for me in 593 BC. It is the only one of its kind… No, don’t… don’t put it in your mouth”

  50. Laurence Fishburne
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Too bad there wasn’t a third pill to keep the gut in check.

Leave A Comment