The Crap We Missed – Friday 4.8.16

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, which benefited from skipping a day yesterday, because it’s full of more than just asses going to Dancing With The Stars practice. In fact, there isn’t even one in here, which is fucking remarkable since I lean on that shit like a tight, bulbous crutch. Anyway, today we’ve got a Dave Chappelle and lunatic sandwich, the return of Constantine Maroulis, who apparently thought the American Idol finale was the prom, Taylor Hicks, who thought it was a conference for regional bank managers, and Ben Affleck, who’s completely thrown in the towel on his appearance. Unless you count that sweet bomber jacket, which in no way screams “Please tell me this covers my tits.” It might, but I’ll always see them. Always.

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