The Crap We Missed – Friday 4.11.14

April 11th, 2014 // 360 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where Steven Tyler finally went full Jame Gumb, then Miley Cyrus instagrammed some blurry toplessness, then this guy and this guy excitedly touched dogs, making me think “Ha! They bang those dogs.” This is the obsession with celebrity culture in which we as a society are hopelessly enthralled yet simultaneously earns me money.

Enjoy your alcohol this weekend. I most certainly will,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Daryl Hall John Oates 29th Annual Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    The Dude and Babba Booey started a band?

  2. Oscar Pistorius Getting Flowers From A Supporter Outside Courtroom
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can’t believe I’m meeting you! You blow me away!”
    “It’s a date.”

  3. Nicolas Cage Joe Promotion Apple Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone has stolen his cup of Joe but Nic is yet to notice.

  4. Johnny Depp Kissing Fan Transcendence Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s quite a tattoo. She’ll make hundreds of new friends.

  5. Al Sharpton National Action Network Speech
    PassingTrue
    Commented on this photo:

    You’d think it would be harder to get this angle on somebody who is beneath contempt.

  6. Steven Tyler Transcendence Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here at a presser for SHIBBIDDA SHABBADDA SHAPPATTA WOOO – THE MUSICAL.

  7. Nicolas Cage Joe Promotion Apple Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he trying to light his microphone?

  8. Barbara Walters Crazy Eyes Bullets Over Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    “Buwwets ovew Bwoadway. HA! I wemembew buwwets over Bull Wun!”

  9. Al Sharpton National Action Network Speech
    Commented on this photo:

    “I used to be this big, but now I’m not! Why? RACISM, that’s why!”

  10. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    When I walked the beach, I would see two sets of footprints. I asked God “Why?”
    He said” Because I am always by your side.”
    One day,I noticed only one set of footprints and asked God “Have you abandoned me?”
    “Pretty much. It’s not all about you you know!”

    • …One day, I noticed only one set of footprints. So I asked the Lord, “Have you abandoned me?” And He said, “No, I was walking behind you in your footprints. ‘Cause Holy Me, dat ass.”

      • When I walked the beach, I would see two sets of footprints. I asked God “Why?”
        He said nothing because there is no God.
        One day, I noticed another set of footprints and asked God, “Have you abandoned me?
        And again, God said nothing because there is no God.

      • It’s true—you atheists have no sense of humor.

        – TomFrank’s Ghost, atheist

      • But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints.
        I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

        And God said “it was those times I was feeding starving children, punishing those that prey on the weak, and displaying my majesty through miracles and answered prayers…ahh just kidding, I was in Vegas banging hookers. It’s not all about you, you ungrateful fuck”

  11. Daryl Hall John Oates 29th Annual Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony
    kravdan
    Commented on this photo:

    They just announced their new album…Hair-plugs and Botox

  12. Andrew Garfield Picked Up By Guy In Spiderman Mask The Amazing Spider Man 2 World Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Emma, I got some bad news for you…
    Your boyfriend is a spider-fucker.

  13. Barbara Walters Crazy Eyes Bullets Over Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I swept with a bwack guy!”

  14. Daryl Hall John Oates 29th Annual Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Oates was Gilbert Gottfried all along? I didn’t see that plot twist coming.

  15. Jennifer Aniston Sheer Dress Cake Set
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s looking fantastic, but I have mommy issues.

  16. Oscar Pistorius Getting Flowers From A Supporter Outside Courtroom
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thanks for the flowers. Wanna bang in the bathroom?”

  17. Oscar Pistorius Getting Flowers From A Supporter Outside Courtroom
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    Despite all the waterworks, he is so, so, so guilty. Even if he thought it was an intruder, who fires four times through a closed door without verifying who’s there? At best, it’s reckless. At worst, he did murder her in a rage. I believe he’s sorry, but his contrition is weaker than his desire to avoid dying in prison.

  18. Johnny Depp Kissing Fan Transcendence Premiere
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    Amber Heard has a similar tattoo just below her waistline. She better hope he has better aim.

  19. Kelly Brook Cleavage Swimsuit Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That picture is dated. I don’t care.

  20. Miley Cyrus Topless Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    That young man should hire an attorney. There’s a class action lawsuit for young men you developed breasts after taking Risperdal.

  21. Jennifer Aniston Sheer Dress Cake Set
    Commented on this photo:

    And apparently eating it too.

  22. Oscar Pistorius Getting Flowers From A Supporter Outside Courtroom
    Commented on this photo:

    I just don’t get the female attraction to stone cold killers, but at least Richard Ramirez had both legs.

    • Fame.

      And being ‘the one he loves’. It sounds daft, but it’s really just the extreme of the ‘bad boy’ syndrome. I can change him. I am ‘special’. A lot of women love the idea of being ‘the exception’.

      As for Ramirez … say what you want, but I felt nothing but pity for him. If as a child my violent, psychotic cousin whom I looked up to had shown me photos of women from the Vietnam war, then shown me photos of those same women slaughtered, and proceeded to regale me with stories of how he raped and murdered them, and *then* went on to blow his wife’s head off might in front of me when I was eleven years old, I’m pretty sure I’d have ended up a violent, jumbled mess of sex, violence, and psychosis too.

  23. Miley Cyrus Topless Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Now Serving #43! #43, please come forward.

  24. Steven Tyler Transcendence Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Now if he’d just hook up with Bruce Jenner, my life would be complete.

  25. Dave Grohl 29th Annual Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    “You weren’t there, man! YOU WEREN’T THERE!”

  26. Jessica Biel Excitedly Greeting Katie Holmes Tiffany & Co Celebrates The 2014 Blue Book
    Commented on this photo:

    “You’re free!”

  27. Barbara Walters Crazy Eyes Bullets Over Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t help but think she’s made of Joan Rivers’ hand-me-downs.

  28. Steven Tyler Transcendence Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    They should just have this picture printed on those certain containers of poisonous substances that tell you to ‘induce vomiting’.

  29. Johnny Depp Kissing Fan Transcendence Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    If she had known that was going to work, she would’ve put that in a VERY different place.

  30. Alec Baldwin Derpface Oklahoma Restoration World Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t think he survived that crash.

  31. Andy Cohen Over Excitedly Petting Dog 17th Annual ASPCA Bergh Ball Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    That man is just pure fucking evil. He’s right up there with advent of fascism, the creation of ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians,’ and the domestication of cats.

  32. Daryl Hall John Oates 29th Annual Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    They look like SNL parodies of themselves.

  33. Andrew Garfield Picked Up By Guy In Spiderman Mask The Amazing Spider Man 2 World Premiere
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I see 4 or 5 Spidermen in this pic, but Tobey Maguire is cleaning toilets at Starbucks.

    • Ahahaha. It’s funny because Tobey Maguire was just in The Great Gatsby and his net worth is like $75 million. No, no, you keep on dreaming your little dream that if a celebrity doesn’t keep up his level of fame, he must be broke and jobless all over again. Whatever helps you feel better about yourself.

  34. Charlie Hunnam Leather Gloves Grabbing Throat Crimson Peak Set
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    In the 18th century, the Sons of Anarchy started out as a bicycle gang.

  35. Oscar Pistorius Getting Flowers From A Supporter Outside Courtroom
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Oscar, let me introduce you to January Jones.

  36. Al Sharpton National Action Network Speech
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t speak for cocaine , cocaine speaks for me.Now who do I have to snitch on to get a line? “

  37. Andrew Garfield Picked Up By Guy In Spiderman Mask The Amazing Spider Man 2 World Premiere
    Simon
    Commented on this photo:

    …and Hollywood gets gayer and gayer..

    • While that may be true, this was taken in London. And I don’t know if it’s possible for London to get any gayer. “Innkeeper, where’s my order of fish and chips?”

  38. Alec Baldwin Derpface Oklahoma Restoration World Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Seeing so many faggots puts a smile on my face!”

  39. David Hasselhoff The Texas Tenors
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope they offered refunds.

  40. Miley Cyrus Topless Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Come on sweety daddy needs a pic for the family scrap book.

  41. David Walliams Awkwardly Holding Dog Britains Got Talent Press Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Kourtney? I can’t tell, he’s hiding her face.

  42. Al Sharpton National Action Network Speech
    Simon
    Commented on this photo:

    Did his head grow,
    or did his body shrink?

  43. Margo Martindale Greg Kinnear Kissed By Randall Wallace Heaven Is For Real Premiere Dallas International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    May be not, but from this picture hell certainly is.

  44. Daryl Hall John Oates 29th Annual Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Hall’s mother’s name must be Dooneese.

  45. Zach Braff Greasy Hair Bullets Over Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    You never go full-on David Brenner.

  46. Kelly Brook Cleavage Swimsuit Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    HOLY!!!!! My imaginary girlfriend never looked this good!!!

  47. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress The Kaleidoscope Ball –
    Commented on this photo:

    ASS! I know, I know… but look at those wrinkly elbows. She’s not so young anymore.

  48. Zach Braff Greasy Hair Bullets Over Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    WOOF

  49. Andy Dick Drunk Oklahoma Restoration World Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Andy Dick with two spectators he paid to drag his drunk ass down the red carpet.

  50. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress The Kaleidoscope Ball –
    Commented on this photo:

    35 and that Greek ass is spreading out.

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