The Crap We Missed – Friday 3.7.14

March 7th, 2014 // 446 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed with a very special Final Five courtesy of Victoria Silvstedt (That pic’s a bonus, because c’mon, really?) who knows that you have to keep the inventory in top shape if you want to move product. From there we get right into Lindsay Lohan in the ultimate blow job caption opportunity, Bruce Willis on the thought of being 91 at his kid’s high school graduation, and Ben Affleck because he’s the hero Golden Corral needs right now.

“Buttahfloi shrimp tha soize of ah tangahreen, Master Wayne,”

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

superficial

  1. Coco Topless String Thong Bikini Working Out Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t even want to know what she smells like while sweating at the gym.

  2. Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Young Boy Checking Out Butt
    Ralph
    Commented on this photo:

    She must have left her ass in her other dress.

  3. Dominic Cooper Aaron Paul Checking Watches Need For Speed Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “According to my watch, Coco’s fifteen minutes are up.”

    “I’ll get the champagne.”

  4. Mena Suvari Butt Tight Jeans Salvador Sanchez
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    “Do you have the AK and the Mac 10? Good let’s go waste those eses”

  5. Dr Ruth Westheimer Chris ODowd All The Way Opening Night Broadway
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    Holy shit, she is real? The #1 person that gives out sex advice is a fucking hobbit?

  6. Lauren Parsekian Cleavage Need For Speed Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    if only we humans could grow some sort of long strings on top of our heads to cover our ears. What a world that would be.

  7. Lindsay Lohan Spraying Jimmy Fallon With Huge Water Gun The Tonight Show
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    She knows water play well after all the time she spent servicing Japanese businessmen.

  8. Dr Ruth Westheimer Chris ODowd All The Way Opening Night Broadway
    Commented on this photo:

    That is a party I want to attend.

  9. Joe Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    Where will you be when semen overdose hits you?

  10. Lindsay Lohan Spraying Jimmy Fallon With Huge Water Gun The Tonight Show
    ksmack
    Commented on this photo:

    You know you watch too much PornHub when you see this all you can think of is a lesbian squirt compilation.

  11. Ed Westwick Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Cowboy Boots
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    West Hollywood? You don’t say?

  12. Helena Bonham Carter Dazed Look Frizzy Hair
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    Frumpalicious.

  13. Sean Penn Noorzia Faridi Holding Award 2014 Frontline Defenders Award Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    That looks less like a frontline defender award and more like a G-stop tickler. Or maybe I’ve just spent too much time on the Internet?

  14. Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Young Boy Checking Out Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    pictured with her child, or as she refers to him, her “sexually transmitted disease.”

  15. Victoria Silvstedt Beach Yoga
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s the pic on her business card.

  16. Jack Nicholson Red Glasses Yelling At Son Raymond Nicholson Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, if you are a grown man and you are wearing a fucking sports jersey and you are not actually playing that sport, you are a fucking loser.

  17. Victoria Silvstedt Beach Yoga
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    not pictured: tattoo on her ass with Visa/Mastercard logos.

  18. Jack Nicholson Red Glasses Yelling At Son Raymond Nicholson Lakers Game
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    “Got any girlfriends you wanna bring over to the house?”

  19. Joe Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sigh, I miss the touch of Ryan Seacrest in the morning”

  20. Katherine Webb Bikini Instagram
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    It’s nice to see Katherine doesn’t mind posting a photo in which she’s the third hottest girl.

  21. Ed Westwick Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Cowboy Boots
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    Yeah, he is totally straight. I mean literally every single part of this outfit, every single one.

  22. Katherine Webb Bikini Instagram
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    Would. Would. Would.

    *sighs*

    Won’t.

  23. Richie Sambora Feathered Hair Maroon Suit Ray Parker Jr Hollywood Walk Of Fame
    Commented on this photo:

    Almost looks like a character in American Hustle.

  24. Helena Bonham Carter Dazed Look Frizzy Hair
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Helena! What’s it like to perpetually live in a Tim Burton film?

  25. Sean Penn Noorzia Faridi Holding Award 2014 Frontline Defenders Award Ceremony
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    That’s the worst wig that’s not a wig since Trump.

  26. Eiza Gonzalez Legs Tight Minidress Texas Film Awards
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t know Jessica Alba had a twin.

  27. Nicki Minaj Bikini Vagina Bulge Instagram
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    Nice package.

  28. Nicki Minaj Bikini Vagina Bulge Instagram
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    Jon Hamm is jealous.

  29. Ron Livingston Fat Belly Old Elvis The ShangriLa Suite Set
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    Damn sexy beast!

  30. Dr Ruth Westheimer Chris ODowd All The Way Opening Night Broadway
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    Dr. Ruth Dinklageheimer.

  31. Sean Penn Noorzia Faridi Holding Award 2014 Frontline Defenders Award Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    The only time Sean Penn has ever given an F about anyone else.

  32. Jay-Z Huge Knit Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a poor man’s Pharrel hat.

  33. Ed Westwick Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Cowboy Boots
    AlfredoGarcia
    Commented on this photo:

    So, you’re telling me they DO need a gay Justin Timberlake for the role?

  34. Sean Penn Noorzia Faridi Holding Award 2014 Frontline Defenders Award Ceremony
    Hopalong
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Spicoli nice hair!

  35. Coco Topless String Thong Bikini Working Out Instagram
    MarketingMike
    Commented on this photo:

    The only girl I know who works out in 7″ stilettos.

  36. Katherine Webb Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t get anywhere with these tiny Instagram pics. It’s fucking 2014. Ever heard of 1920 x 1200 resolution? Dammit Instagram!!!!

  37. Ed Westwick Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Cowboy Boots
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    My daughter doesn’t understand why I make fun of this dude whenever I see him on TV or in a Mag or something. No it’s not because he’s gay because I didn’t even know he was…. until now.

  38. Ron Livingston Fat Belly Old Elvis The ShangriLa Suite Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my jungle room and show you my Kung-Fu. Y’all ever see someone do Kung-Fu?

  39. Coco Topless String Thong Bikini Working Out Instagram
    MarketingMike
    Commented on this photo:

    and topless…

  40. Lauren Parsekian Cleavage Need For Speed Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    This is why eyebrows The Superficial.

  41. Nicki Minaj Bikini Vagina Bulge Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ… Don’s going to have a heart attack, or whatever the equivalent is for your penis.

  42. Sarah Jessica Parker Scary Face High Ponytail SJP Collection Presentation Nordstrom The Grove
    Commented on this photo:

    …and musical guest, “Hay and Oats”. *Sarah brays loudly*

  43. Ben Affleck Grey Hair Scruffy Beard Fat Gut
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    “I’m Batman!”

  44. Mena Suvari Butt Tight Jeans Salvador Sanchez
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if he’s ever given her a Dirty Sanchez?

  45. Nicki Minaj Bikini Vagina Bulge Instagram
    Monsignor Nelson
    Commented on this photo:

    Never seen panties over a strap-on.
    Got to admit it’s innovative.

  46. Richie Sambora Feathered Hair Maroon Suit Ray Parker Jr Hollywood Walk Of Fame
    Commented on this photo:

    Billy Ray Cyrus,,is that you?

  47. Dr Ruth Westheimer Chris ODowd All The Way Opening Night Broadway
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who looks worse here, Hayden without her makeup, or Wladimir with that beard.

  48. Nicki Minaj Bikini Vagina Bulge Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing strange here.

  49. David Beckham On Roof With Random Guy
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    Did they just get engaged?

  50. Sean Penn Noorzia Faridi Holding Award 2014 Frontline Defenders Award Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Good lord, that hair piece.

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