The Crap We Missed – Friday 3.30.12

March 30th, 2012 // 398 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you slightly early because it’s past noon and it’s hard to type and hold a whiskey bottle at the same time we couldn’t wait to bring you Charles Barkley in drag. No, not the bikini pic, you racist. Anyway, we’ve also got Slash‘s wife unleashing her banshee wail to call off the lumbering school of groupies as well as Michael Jordan playing “the back nine.” (Butt sex jokes. Holy cow!!)

Cheers,

- Photo Boy

[Ed. Note: We were going to post a bonus gallery of Shauna Sand but then we realized we already posted post her once today. So long story short, we almost tore a goddamn hole in the space-time continuum. Our bad. - SW]

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Reese Witherspoon Baby Bump
    Commented on this photo:

    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/30/17488904-340_243.jpg[/img]

  2. Jon Gosselin Fat Sport Coat Jeans
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha ha ha ha ha. Great event, Svedka. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

  3. Slash Wife Perla Hudson Cleavage
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    You sorta wish she’d married O.J. Simpson instead of simply settling for somebody NAMED Slash.

  4. Kieran Culkin Hoodie
    Phial
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s what a serial rapist looks like.

  5. Serena Williams Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I pity the fool that photoshops Mr. T into a bikini!

  6. Karena Graham Lingerie
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Ottoman is too low. Hurts my thighs when we do the upside down blow job. Try again.

  7. Michael Jordan Cigar Golf Club
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Jordan or Manute Bol? Motherfucker got blacker all the sudden.

  8. Kieran Culkin Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hi, Mom? Yea, I got the part. I’ll be playing Steve Buscemi as a teenager in his biopic on E!”

  9. Michael K. Williams
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    I would have bought crack off that guy in 1985.

  10. Jon Gosselin Fat Sport Coat Jeans
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope to fuck this ‘billion reality star bash’ thing ends like Inglorious Basterds, except with more fire and machine gunning.

  11. Adam Sandler Shirtless Fat
    booya
    Commented on this photo:

    Are they turning “Fatty McGee” from They’re All Gonna Laugh At You into a movie now? Are the goat and toll booth willy gonna have cameos?

  12. Brandi Glanville Miniskirt
    Biff
    Commented on this photo:

    Gross.

  13. Candice Swanepoel Cleavage
    Pablo
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d make her the sandwich.

  14. Charlie Sheen
    hmna
    Commented on this photo:

    Carlos looks like he died and became a zombie.

  15. Serena Williams Bikini Twitter
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, isn’t he supposed to be getting [i]smaller[i]?

  16. Candice Swanepoel Cleavage
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This girl is so pretty I would give her a breast exam…..for free.

  17. Michael K. Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    “Billy Jean’s not my lover…she’s a girl…”

  18. Ashley Greene Legs Leather Miniskirt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Shoes?
    IMO this color combo just ain’t quite right.
    Nice looking gal….she bought herself a real fine nose.

    • Use the zoom – they magically let you see beyond the boundaries of the picture. They’re a pretty bland pair of heels that matches the color of her skirt. Nothing to get excited about, I’m afraid.

      • Using the zoom, she has really unattractive feet and knees.

        Yep, that’s how I feel superior…her feet make her unacceptable.

      • Mike Walker

        Would not bang? I don’t have a knee or foot fetish so they look fine to me.

      • Okay, pretty much everything I know about women’s shoes comes from watching “Sex and the City,” but I suspect that you will be tongue-lashed by the Cock Dr for calling those shoes “bland.” And not tongue-lashed in the good way.

      • Mike Walker

        There’s a View Original link under the carousel that shows the same enlarged picture as the zoom feature.

  19. Charlie Sheen
    Beltliner
    Commented on this photo:

    SPOILER ALERT: Ratso dies on the bus to Florida.

  20. Jon Gosselin Fat Sport Coat Jeans
    Dick Smokehand
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s still alive… wow.

  21. Snooki Cleavage Twitter
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “I must have read every paper ever written on the Taniyama–Shimura Conjecture and then one night, as I was pissing on the floor in a club, don’t ask me why, I thought ‘Horizontal Iwasawa Theory’! And that’s how I proved Fermat’s Last Theorem.”

  22. Karena Graham Lingerie
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Time for some throat fucking.

  23. Josh Duhamel Mohawk
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s weird he could bite even that much off

  24. Michael Jordan Cigar Golf Club
    Cardinal Fang
    Commented on this photo:

    Obviously desperately holding back his white hate.

  25. Karena Graham Lingerie
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Why can’t they wear this to their interviews?

  26. Charles Barkley Drag Womens Clothing Weight Watchers
    fartbucket
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright Latifah… who’s the REAL Queen!

  27. Liam Neeson
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess no one told him that alcohol is forbidden in Islam.

  28. Serena Williams Bikini Twitter
    fartbucket
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone ever see the Windowlicker video by Aphex Twin?

  29. Ronnie Wood
    fartbucket
    Commented on this photo:

    Move along folks. This one is done.

  30. Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    This must be Lindsey Lohan’s motivational poster…

  31. Serena Williams Bikini Twitter
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, get the fuck off the beach and let the tide go out

  32. Kieran Culkin Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, looks like a methed out Gyllenhal

  33. Brandi Glanville Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Now with more lipstick!

  34. Richard Grieco Leather Jacket Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Greg Giraldo died?

  35. Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    Fixed.
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/30/On_With_The_Show-340_251.jpg[/img]

  36. Candice Swanepoel Cleavage
    Da Cheese
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture reminds me I haven’t busted a nut on this website today.

  37. Michael Jordan Cigar Golf Club
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s he playing golf for? He can already dress like he’s black

  38. Josh Duhamel Mohawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be fun to do creative things with your hair like that when your husband is the breadwinner of the house.

  39. Michael Jordan Cigar Golf Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Michael Jordan at “HIS” Celebrity Invitational Golf Tournament? Gee, sure was lucky he made the cut…he must be really good.

  40. Ashley Greene Legs Leather Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    PETA called, they said the skirt is murder and you should remove it. I’ll help…

  41. Liam Neeson
    Commented on this photo:

    Are we sure it’s not called “Hangover of the Titans”?

  42. Charles Barkley Drag Womens Clothing Weight Watchers
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.
    Strongly recommend that Ms Barkley wear closed toe shoes for future tranny-tastic photoshoots.

  43. Geri Halliwell Hat Sunglasses Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess now we know what Willias was talkin’ bout.

  44. Liam Neeson
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t wait for ‘Battleship 2 : Snakes and Ladders’

  45. Serena Williams Bikini Twitter
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    Who in their right fucking mind could possibly find this thing attractive?

  46. Kieran Culkin Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    “…yeah, I’m done with that ’99%’ protest crap, these days I’m all about Treyvon”

  47. Michael K. Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, dude can make “70′s white dude” look pimp.

  48. Charles Barkley Drag Womens Clothing Weight Watchers
    Fred
    Commented on this photo:

    tits or GTFO

  49. Ronnie Wood
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me guess, he’s there for the “poster child” photography session?

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