“Baby. This state ain’t big enough for us no more.”
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Bruce Willis at the exact moment the valet found his keys – “Right here, Meester Weeles. They are keys, senor, not, como se dice? Demi Moore’s bullshit fake marijuana.” – Kate Hudson just absolutely hammered and Photo Boy’s Prince Charles obsession finally pays dividends with a vital piece of intel. “Her Royal Majesty’s Paintball Brigade shall be an impenetrable force restoring this once great empire to its former glory. Now flash them those pearly off-yellows, chaps. TO VICTORY!”
I’ll ready the turpentine,
- The Superficial
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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto
Nice to see him not wearing the ‘I Fucked Britney When She Was Hot” t-shirt.
That new celebrity fad diet is actually working. I think it’s called “will work for food, but I’m K-Fed and don’t know how”
“Wanna see my Whitney impersonation?”
Happy day! Finally clean of all the diseases Britney gave him!
“I’m here to drop off my urine specimen.”
“DAMN DOOR HANDLE! Caught my nuts again!”
It took long enough, but his testicles finally dropped.
I think I can see tits!….which makes a change from the slasher porn these Rorschach things usually look like.
He’s trying to figure out how many people will be in the ring.
Wasn’t he in The Village People? You know, the cowboy, the Indian, the construction worker and the future king of England?
“You have something on the side of your mouth, Al. No, no. The other side.”
Lady Gaga is proud of all her Little Monsters, even the fat old ones.
Goldie is showing a bit of tarnish these days…Pawn Stars would say “twenty bucks, that’s it”
That’s not tarnish. She’s full-on covered with barnacles and rust.
PETA rules. No fur equals no clothes. Kate Upton was more naked than her.
“Shouldn’t have had that third glass of Metamucil.”
“Um…let’s see … definitely pube…. not sure what year … probably male …. “
“There. That should take care of that squeaky hinge.”
“I’ll get you, Gadget!”
Funny how he resembles that slab of beef he punched in Rocky.
“and a good day to you too, Mr. Magoo.”
Kim Yong Un wasn’t quite ready for a real war.
David Lee Wrath of Montezuma
That is one awkward, unflattering dress. Or she just isn’t that attractive.
Indy! Cover your heart!!!
“I crush your head!”
Dear Liv,
This is what you have to look forward to.
Love, Mom.
Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it Chuck?…and we’re still only up to Richard the Third.
[singing] Moon River. … Using the whole fist, Doc?
If she’s Wright…I don’t wanna be wrong.
hah! get it? It’s a pun! titties!!
“damn…did I really bang Chelsea Handler?”
“Kisses $5…oh, hello again Mr. Hawking.”
her tits look like they’re wearing two different dresses.
Sir, the line to register as a sex offender is over there.
I would eat a stack of pancakes off that stomach
Looks like he is still trying to figure out Tom Peters’ ideas.
deservedly smug. great ass.
Smugness is *never* deserved. Ever.
Her full name is Jessica Wright Left Wright Lef Updown Updown A B A B Start
Yay! Infinite lives. Cheating is awesome.
Look there, just beside the first one, there’s another easter egg
It’s really, really weird to look at a guy and KNOW you can take him…and simultaneously know that no, no you can’t.
Something is telling me she’s totally shaved. Or I’m misunderstanding.
No, that’s what I’m taking away from that, too. I mean, it’s not up on her breast, where most women in swimsuits tend to wear their cause buttons.
The exact moment the gargoyle behind her knew he wasn’t ready for New York. Poor gargoyle.
Can you see my nose hair? No, can you see mine?
I call this look… ‘Wild West Bordello’
I’d say she can really blow a horn…and by horn I mean a trumpet…and by trumpet I mean a dick.
You have to applaud her for trying her best to put some emotion into her facial expression. Maybe next year, sport.
More like Vanessa “Pudgens”.
If he skates anything like he plays guitar, this (him) will be over very soon. We can only hope.
Why’s Wayne Rooney in battle fatigues behind him?
I would love to just suck the milk right out of those things.
Fitting that she’s wearing one of his jerseys, since that ass is definitely on steroids.