The Crap We Missed – Friday 3.2.12

March 2nd, 2012 // 514 Comments

“Baby. This state ain’t big enough for us no more.”

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Bruce Willis at the exact moment the valet found his keys – “Right here, Meester Weeles. They are keys, senor, not, como se dice? Demi Moore’s bullshit fake marijuana.” – Kate Hudson just absolutely hammered and Photo Boy’s Prince Charles obsession finally pays dividends with a vital piece of intel. “Her Royal Majesty’s Paintball Brigade shall be an impenetrable force restoring this once great empire to its former glory. Now flash them those pearly off-yellows, chaps. TO VICTORY!”

I’ll ready the turpentine,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. John C. Reily
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

  2. Kevin Federline Weight Loss Haircut
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see him not wearing the ‘I Fucked Britney When She Was Hot” t-shirt.

  3. Kevin Federline Weight Loss Haircut
    Commented on this photo:

    That new celebrity fad diet is actually working. I think it’s called “will work for food, but I’m K-Fed and don’t know how”

  4. Mel B Cleavage
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wanna see my Whitney impersonation?”

  5. Kevin Federline Weight Loss Haircut
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Happy day! Finally clean of all the diseases Britney gave him!

  6. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Cheeks Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m here to drop off my urine specimen.”

  7. Bruce Willis
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    “DAMN DOOR HANDLE! Caught my nuts again!”

  8. David Lee Roth Leather Pants Van Halen
    Commented on this photo:

    It took long enough, but his testicles finally dropped.

  9. Lynn Collins Cleavage
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I can see tits!….which makes a change from the slasher porn these Rorschach things usually look like.

  10. 50 Cent
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s trying to figure out how many people will be in the ring.

  11. Prince Charles Paintball Gun
    Commented on this photo:

    Wasn’t he in The Village People? You know, the cowboy, the Indian, the construction worker and the future king of England?

  12. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Cheeks Jean Shorts
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    “You have something on the side of your mouth, Al. No, no. The other side.”

  13. Oprah
    Commented on this photo:

    Lady Gaga is proud of all her Little Monsters, even the fat old ones.

  14. Goldie Hawn
    Commented on this photo:

    Goldie is showing a bit of tarnish these days…Pawn Stars would say “twenty bucks, that’s it”

  15. Katie Cleary Bikini
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    PETA rules. No fur equals no clothes. Kate Upton was more naked than her.

  16. David Lee Roth Leather Pants Van Halen
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    “Shouldn’t have had that third glass of Metamucil.”

  17. Mel B Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Um…let’s see … definitely pube…. not sure what year … probably male …. “

  18. Bruce Willis
    Commented on this photo:

    “There. That should take care of that squeaky hinge.”

  19. Goldie Hawn
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll get you, Gadget!”

  20. Sylvester Stallone Jennifer Flavin
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny how he resembles that slab of beef he punched in Rocky.

  21. John C. Reily
    Commented on this photo:

    “and a good day to you too, Mr. Magoo.”

  22. Prince Charles Paintball Gun
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Yong Un wasn’t quite ready for a real war.

  23. David Lee Roth Leather Pants Van Halen
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    David Lee Wrath of Montezuma

  24. Lynn Collins Cleavage
    Snack pack
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one awkward, unflattering dress. Or she just isn’t that attractive.

  25. Oprah
    Commented on this photo:

    Indy! Cover your heart!!!

  26. Oprah
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    “I crush your head!”

  27. Steven Tyler
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Liv,
    This is what you have to look forward to.
    Love, Mom.

  28. Prince Charles Paintball Gun
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it Chuck?…and we’re still only up to Richard the Third.

  29. Bruce Willis
    Commented on this photo:

    [singing] Moon River. … Using the whole fist, Doc?

  30. Jessica Wright Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    If she’s Wright…I don’t wanna be wrong.

    hah! get it? It’s a pun! titties!!

  31. 50 Cent
    Commented on this photo:

    “damn…did I really bang Chelsea Handler?”

  32. Mel B Cleavage
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    “Kisses $5…oh, hello again Mr. Hawking.”

  33. Lynn Collins Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    her tits look like they’re wearing two different dresses.

  34. John C. Reily
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Sir, the line to register as a sex offender is over there.

  35. Katie Cleary Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I would eat a stack of pancakes off that stomach

  36. John C. Reily
    Snack pack
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he is still trying to figure out Tom Peters’ ideas.

  37. Katie Cleary Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    deservedly smug. great ass.

  38. Jessica Wright Cleavage
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Her full name is Jessica Wright Left Wright Lef Updown Updown A B A B Start

  39. Oscar De La Hoya
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s really, really weird to look at a guy and KNOW you can take him…and simultaneously know that no, no you can’t.

  40. Katie Cleary Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Something is telling me she’s totally shaved. Or I’m misunderstanding.

    • No, that’s what I’m taking away from that, too. I mean, it’s not up on her breast, where most women in swimsuits tend to wear their cause buttons.

  41. Oprah
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    The exact moment the gargoyle behind her knew he wasn’t ready for New York. Poor gargoyle.

  42. Floyd Mayweather Miguel Cotto
    brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Can you see my nose hair? No, can you see mine?

  43. Steven Tyler
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I call this look… ‘Wild West Bordello’

  44. Mel B Cleavage
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d say she can really blow a horn…and by horn I mean a trumpet…and by trumpet I mean a dick.

  45. Kristen Stewart Bra See Through Shirt
    Adam
    Commented on this photo:

    You have to applaud her for trying her best to put some emotion into her facial expression. Maybe next year, sport.

  46. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Cheeks Jean Shorts
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    More like Vanessa “Pudgens”.

  47. Lil Wayne Shirtless Skateboard
    Alex
    Commented on this photo:

    If he skates anything like he plays guitar, this (him) will be over very soon. We can only hope.

  48. Prince Charles Paintball Gun
    brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Why’s Wayne Rooney in battle fatigues behind him?

  49. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Dress
    Rico Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to just suck the milk right out of those things.

  50. Jordan Carver Butt Miniskirt
    Adam
    Commented on this photo:

    Fitting that she’s wearing one of his jerseys, since that ass is definitely on steroids.

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