The Crap We Missed – Friday 3.2.12

March 2nd, 2012 // 514 Comments

“Baby. This state ain’t big enough for us no more.”

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Bruce Willis at the exact moment the valet found his keys – “Right here, Meester Weeles. They are keys, senor, not, como se dice? Demi Moore’s bullshit fake marijuana.” – Kate Hudson just absolutely hammered and Photo Boy’s Prince Charles obsession finally pays dividends with a vital piece of intel. “Her Royal Majesty’s Paintball Brigade shall be an impenetrable force restoring this once great empire to its former glory. Now flash them those pearly off-yellows, chaps. TO VICTORY!”

I’ll ready the turpentine,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Steven Tyler
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude looks like what dude famously sang dude looks like.

  2. Kevin Federline Weight Loss Haircut
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Is everybody skinny when the get to Australia?

  3. Floyd Mayweather Miguel Cotto
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing cliche about the press conference staredown. So you guys would still fight each other if they pulled the money off the table? No? Didn’t think so.

  4. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Cheeks Jean Shorts
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Her clothes seem to protect her body from the Biebs.

  5. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Dress
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the “father’, Bob Evans?

  6. Katie Cleary Bikini
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Now THAT’s a weird-looking person!

  7. David Lee Roth Leather Pants Van Halen
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    I ain’t got no……Ohhh! My lumbago! Somebody call my chiropractor.

  8. Katie Cleary Bikini
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a shapely bottom. I’d knead them until I wrists were numb.

  9. Prince Charles Paintball Gun
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Prince Charles attempts a coup at the palace.

  10. Katie Cleary Bikini
    Shutter Speed
    Commented on this photo:

    A gay man’s stomach and face, this is so confusing, what is it?

  11. Kevin Federline Weight Loss Haircut
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    The biggest loser!

  12. Katie Cleary Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Well there’s a fine healthy specimen to inspire your jacking exercises.

  13. Sylvester Stallone Jennifer Flavin
    Commented on this photo:

    “What do you think if my cool new invention? I call it a sweater.”

  14. Steven Tyler
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Though bubble: “Man, this girdle is killing me.”

  15. David Lee Roth Leather Pants Van Halen
    Commented on this photo:

    I get the feeling that this show was mentioned in many a suicide note that night.

  16. Oscar De La Hoya
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I’m going to bang his incredible looking wife, then tell him about it. At gun point.

  17. Prince Charles Paintball Gun
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    “Right in ‘is wedding tackle! Jolly good.”

  18. John C. Reily
    Commented on this photo:

    “For best results, a bakin’ potato should be no larger than this…”

  19. Oprah
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    And people wonder why, despite her millions, Stedman wouldn’t marry her…

  20. Mel B Cleavage
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Verifying her lunch fart: McRib, apple dipper and a jamocha shake.

  21. Bruce Willis
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, I knew Demi was bat shit crazy.”

  22. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Dress
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone else expecting a laser beam to shoot out her stomach and destroy Alderaan?

  23. Katie Cleary Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Seeing her pictures reminds me…I need to eat some lunch.

  24. Sylvester Stallone Jennifer Flavin
    Commented on this photo:

    Imagine a conversation between Sly, Arnold and Tony Danza; sadly Tony would only be in it long enough to take their orders.

  25. Kristen Stewart Bra See Through Shirt
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, that must’ve been the funniest joke she ever heard cracking a smile like that.

  26. Sylvester Stallone Jennifer Flavin
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Wild proportions, painting that looks like he had the airbrush in his mouth… is Richard Corben still alive?

  27. Jessica Wright Cleavage
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Who can I call about trading JWOWW and Snooki for her?

  28. Floyd Mayweather Miguel Cotto
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    If this fight isn’t good, I guarantee Michael Vick is going to drown them.

  29. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want to get a balloon like that too close to a bunch of cactus.

    But if you gotta…I sleep easy knowing the paparazzi are on the job.

  30. Lynn Collins Cleavage
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe I am in this fucking movie.

  31. Kristen Stewart Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve heard of handlebar mustache, but handlebar mouth?

  32. Katie Cleary Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit, don’t tell me ‘no fur’ in advance! I like to be surprised.

  33. Lil Wayne Shirtless Skateboard
    NOI
    Commented on this photo:

    SECURITYY, SECURITY!!!

  34. Sylvester Stallone Jennifer Flavin
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    Their euphemism for fucking is “genital dermabrasion procedure”.

  35. Lil Wayne Shirtless Skateboard
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Tony’s ex-wife: Sheneneh Hawk

  36. Floyd Mayweather Miguel Cotto
    Commented on this photo:

    Turns out being an inch taller doesn’t make you look like the baddest dude when you’re wearing Fred Sandford’s hat, and a jacket that looks like it’s made from nutsack.

  37. Kevin Federline Weight Loss Haircut
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    has-been

  38. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, that’s it. Now the tides are all screwed up.

  39. Lil Wayne Shirtless Skateboard
    Commented on this photo:

    Will someone PLEASE show him where the restroom is??

  40. Kristen Stewart Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Sh-h-h-h-h-h-h. She’ll hear you.

  41. Sylvester Stallone Jennifer Flavin
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    “This jacket is made of 100% pure polyester.”

  42. Prince Charles Paintball Gun
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not familar with British war garb, are those some sort of butt plug hanging from the ropes?

  43. Floyd Mayweather Miguel Cotto
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is it gay that I like that our penises are touching?”

  44. Jordan Carver Butt Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this a baseball themed fashion shoot, or a porno themed baseball shoot?

    ah, I’m just fucking with you…it don’t matter.

  45. Lil Wayne Shirtless Skateboard
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me or does it looks like he gets dressed in a centrifuge?

  46. Sylvester Stallone Jennifer Flavin
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    I knew I could make Burt Young look good, so I have a jacket made out of him. What do you think?

  47. Oprah
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    “My career is only THIS big now!”

  48. Jordan Carver Butt Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Take that. soccer!

  49. Jordan Carver Butt Miniskirt
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    After a long intensive search, Los Angeles decided to rename the team the Anals.

  50. Steven Tyler
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone got into J.Lo’s wardrobe again..

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