“Baby. This state ain’t big enough for us no more.”
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Bruce Willis at the exact moment the valet found his keys – “Right here, Meester Weeles. They are keys, senor, not, como se dice? Demi Moore’s bullshit fake marijuana.” – Kate Hudson just absolutely hammered and Photo Boy’s Prince Charles obsession finally pays dividends with a vital piece of intel. “Her Royal Majesty’s Paintball Brigade shall be an impenetrable force restoring this once great empire to its former glory. Now flash them those pearly off-yellows, chaps. TO VICTORY!”
I’ll ready the turpentine,
- The Superficial
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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Dude looks like what dude famously sang dude looks like.
Is everybody skinny when the get to Australia?
I was thinking Jimmy Fallon got fat.
Nothing cliche about the press conference staredown. So you guys would still fight each other if they pulled the money off the table? No? Didn’t think so.
Her clothes seem to protect her body from the Biebs.
Who’s the “father’, Bob Evans?
That would explain why all the bob evans around here closed down
Now THAT’s a weird-looking person!
No, that’s a fine-looking woman!
I ain’t got no……Ohhh! My lumbago! Somebody call my chiropractor.
That’s a shapely bottom. I’d knead them until I wrists were numb.
Prince Charles attempts a coup at the palace.
A gay man’s stomach and face, this is so confusing, what is it?
The biggest loser!
Well there’s a fine healthy specimen to inspire your jacking exercises.
I’m torn. I love masturbation, but I hate exercising…
“What do you think if my cool new invention? I call it a sweater.”
Though bubble: “Man, this girdle is killing me.”
I get the feeling that this show was mentioned in many a suicide note that night.
I think I’m going to bang his incredible looking wife, then tell him about it. At gun point.
“Right in ‘is wedding tackle! Jolly good.”
“For best results, a bakin’ potato should be no larger than this…”
And people wonder why, despite her millions, Stedman wouldn’t marry her…
Verifying her lunch fart: McRib, apple dipper and a jamocha shake.
“Yes, I knew Demi was bat shit crazy.”
Anyone else expecting a laser beam to shoot out her stomach and destroy Alderaan?
Seeing her pictures reminds me…I need to eat some lunch.
Imagine a conversation between Sly, Arnold and Tony Danza; sadly Tony would only be in it long enough to take their orders.
Good to see at least one of them can hold steady work.
Wow, that must’ve been the funniest joke she ever heard cracking a smile like that.
Wild proportions, painting that looks like he had the airbrush in his mouth… is Richard Corben still alive?
Who can I call about trading JWOWW and Snooki for her?
If this fight isn’t good, I guarantee Michael Vick is going to drown them.
I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want to get a balloon like that too close to a bunch of cactus.
But if you gotta…I sleep easy knowing the paparazzi are on the job.
I can’t believe I am in this fucking movie.
I’ve heard of handlebar mustache, but handlebar mouth?
See: Cameron Diaz for reference.
Dammit, don’t tell me ‘no fur’ in advance! I like to be surprised.
SECURITYY, SECURITY!!!
Their euphemism for fucking is “genital dermabrasion procedure”.
Tony’s ex-wife: Sheneneh Hawk
Turns out being an inch taller doesn’t make you look like the baddest dude when you’re wearing Fred Sandford’s hat, and a jacket that looks like it’s made from nutsack.
I thought it was turkey skin… honest mistake.
Maybe it’s turkey nutsack. I mean, sure, it’s scrotum, but it doesn’t look human.
has-been
Well, that’s it. Now the tides are all screwed up.
Will someone PLEASE show him where the restroom is??
Sh-h-h-h-h-h-h. She’ll hear you.
“This jacket is made of 100% pure polyester.”
I’m not familar with British war garb, are those some sort of butt plug hanging from the ropes?
“Is it gay that I like that our penises are touching?”
Is this a baseball themed fashion shoot, or a porno themed baseball shoot?
ah, I’m just fucking with you…it don’t matter.
Is it just me or does it looks like he gets dressed in a centrifuge?
I knew I could make Burt Young look good, so I have a jacket made out of him. What do you think?
“My career is only THIS big now!”
Take that. soccer!
The French women’s football team responds: http://1×57.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/french-women-naked-world-cup-soccer-france-bild.jpg
After a long intensive search, Los Angeles decided to rename the team the Anals.
Someone got into J.Lo’s wardrobe again..