Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which, thanks to Comcast taking a shit on my face, is coming at you from Starbucks — a place I thought was just a nice spot to get an overprice cup of sugar, but turns out is actually Satan’s asshole. Who knew? In a moment, I’ll get this nice ENTIRE FUCKING FAMILY WHO FOR SOME REASON IS IN STARBUCKS ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON and speaking at max volume in Spanish right beside me to translate this for our ESL readers, but first I need to collect myself with this Elton John pic. This should put me in a calm, meditative state.
*waits, inhales deeply* Nope, still gonna steam burn everyone in this place to death. *leaps onto table, points green straw* BARISTA, EN GUARD!!
- Photo Boy