The Crap We Missed – Friday 3.14.14

March 14th, 2014 // 356 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which, thanks to Comcast taking a shit on my face, is coming at you from Starbucks — a place I thought was just a nice spot to get an overprice cup of sugar, but turns out is actually Satan’s asshole. Who knew? In a moment, I’ll get this nice ENTIRE FUCKING FAMILY WHO FOR SOME REASON IS IN STARBUCKS ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON and speaking at max volume in Spanish right beside me to translate this for our ESL readers, but first I need to collect myself with this Elton John pic. This should put me in a calm, meditative state.

*waits, inhales deeply* Nope, still gonna steam burn everyone in this place to death. *leaps onto table, points green straw* BARISTA, EN GUARD!!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Alessandra Ambrosio Side Boob launch Ale By Alessandra Planet Blue
    Commented on this photo:

    You can tell she’s an experience model.
    Some hobo starts masturbating right next to her and she doesn’t even bat an eye…

    • Well I did explain it was that way because of her and asked for her assistance before just taking care of it myself while asking her not to move….

  2. Jared Leto Hair On Terry Richardson Head
    Commented on this photo:

    Who came on my face?

    This guy.

  3. Elton John Blowing Microphone
    Commented on this photo:

    You’d think as many years as he’s been doing it, the novelty would have worn off… I guess KimK can dream of growing old like this.

  4. Elton John Blowing Microphone
    Commented on this photo:

    That candle is definitely in the wind.

  5. Chord Overstreet On Darren Criss Back Glee Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Thanks, Obama…

  6. Kylie Jenner Scott Disick Lord Disick Slippers DASH Store Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    You want best suits? I have best suits at low prices. Come….make a deal.

  7. Jared Leto Hair On Terry Richardson Head
    Commented on this photo:

    After a few jizz sessions, a little hair on his head isn’t so bad…

  8. Chord Overstreet On Darren Criss Back Glee Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty much exactly what I imagine it’s like on the glee set everyday. “Whats on the agenda for today?”
    “Gay romping for everyone!”
    “Score!”

    • dontkillthemessenger

      I never watch Glee, but I imagine this is the plot of every episode. Then a bitch with a long nose walks in.

  9. Burt Young Lisa Scuteri Neck Rocky Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    Take her to the zoo, Pauly. Retards love the zoo…

  10. Danny DeVito Grabbing Older Womans Ass
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Danny. So misunderstood all these years. He wasn’t grabbing their ass. He just wanted someone to lean on….

  11. Alexander Skarsgard Hoodie Gym Shorts Bag Sandals
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey that’s a cool pictu….shit i’m pregnant…how the fu????

  12. Isla Fisher Cleavage Pregnant Boobs Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Thats what happens when you and the skarsgaard are in the same Gallery.

  13. Wesley Snipes Rocky Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    If you squint your eyes it looks like the jacket is just floating there.

  14. Hayley Atwell Cleavage Captain America The Winter Soldier Premiere
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    Hayley Titwell is more like it!

  15. Elton John Blowing Microphone
    maoix
    Commented on this photo:

    Just the tip.

  16. Kylie Jenner Scott Disick Lord Disick Slippers DASH Store Opening
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “You’re right, this isn’t the one I had a kid with, but it really doesn’t matter. When you’re leaving the house, you just take one out of the disinfectant tanks, hose her off, and go to the event. Kris gets paid no matter which one it is.”

  17. Burt Young Lisa Scuteri Neck Rocky Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    WHERE’S THE FUCKIN ROBOT?!

  18. Coco String Bikini Instagram
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone has epic Kardashian-level Photoshopping skills.

  19. Tim Robbins Scruffy Gray Beard A Perfect Day Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, and if a frog had wings, it wouldn’t bump it’s ass a-hoppin

  20. Jessica Szohr Nipples No Bra Captain America The Winter Soldier Premiere
    zanjoe
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m gonna be ‘szohr’ after rubbing one out to those tasty nips! Momma likey!

  21. Chloe Dykstra Legs Posing On Motorcycle Cleavage Captain America The Winter Soldier Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    m mmmm… I love Chloe, jus cos.

  22. Kate Upton Cleavage Express Runway Show
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s sort of like if the 9th cutest girl at my high school had really big boobs.

  23. Jared Leto Hair On Terry Richardson Head
    maoix
    Commented on this photo:

    Leto is only 6 years younger than Richardson.

  24. Kate Major DUI Mugshot
    Commented on this photo:

    Another natural beauty photo. Kind of over these.

  25. Paz de la Huerta Drunk Smoking Cigarette Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t think I’d say it, but this just keeps getting worse.

  26. Danny DeVito Grabbing Older Womans Ass
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s the old, “I’m so short my hand naturally touches your ass” trick.

  27. Paz de la Huerta Drunk Smoking Cigarette Chateau Marmont
    The Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    A Kardashian in 5 years. ANY one of them.

  28. Nicki Minaj Butt Twerk Leather Moschino Shoot Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    What is with that squatting pose she does all the time? Does she have a bowel obstruction or something?

  29. Paz de la Huerta Drunk Smoking Cigarette Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    The freshly dipped in Crisco with coke bloat look. Very trendy right now.

  30. Alexander Skarsgard Hoodie Gym Shorts Bag Sandals
    Commented on this photo:

    There was only one parking meter right before he walked out.

  31. Joanna Krupa Topless Sideboob Instagram
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Boneless, skin-on chicken breasts always taste the best.

  32. Wesley Snipes Rocky Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    Apollo Greed

  33. Paz de la Huerta Drunk Smoking Cigarette Chateau Marmont
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    She steal the fucking carpet from Hefner’s love dungeon? Jesus.

  34. Eva Mendes Butt Floral Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Did grandma die and leave her some outfits?

  35. Ben Affleck Grey Hair Scruffy Beard Fat Gut
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Gottfried should have never made that crack about the tsunami.

  36. Katy Perry Butt Yoga Pants
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pffffffffffffffffff”

  37. Kendra Wilkinson Cleavage Pregnant Boobs Belly Launch Ale By Alessandra Planet Blue
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, thank you for holding your stomach and making sure we all understand that you are pregnant. Otherwise I just wasn’t sure.

  38. Wesley Snipes Rocky Broadway Opening Night
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Still trying to get righteous.

  39. Joanna Krupa Topless Sideboob Instagram
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you smell the stench?

  40. Kate Upton Cleavage Express Runway Show
    Randal
    Commented on this photo:

    cant believe people are obsessed with her.. she looks like a real life miss piggy with horse teeth and boobs..

  41. Kendra Wilkinson Cleavage Pregnant Boobs Belly Launch Ale By Alessandra Planet Blue
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, that Skarsgard gets around…

  42. Hilary Duff Tight Red Heans
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she will sit in Aaron Carter’s section today?

  43. Alessandra Ambrosio Side Boob launch Ale By Alessandra Planet Blue
    Commented on this photo:

    If my GF wore this on a regular basis those subtle hints of engagement would not be ignored. No she doesn’t look like Alessandra Ambrosio but she’s a keeper.

  44. Katy Perry Butt Yoga Pants
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    You know things are getting beyond your control when not even yoga pants can keep it all in check.

  45. Jared Leto Hair On Terry Richardson Head
    Commented on this photo:

    FUCK OFF BOTH OF YOU!

  46. Joanna Krupa Topless Sideboob Instagram
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Why did they photoshop her head so small?

  47. Oprah Winfrey Maria Shriver Paycheck To Paycheck The Life and Times Of Katrina Gilbert
    Commented on this photo:

    I would get worried she’s activated the self destruct mechanism if I saw her laughing.

  48. Elton John Blowing Microphone
    Commented on this photo:

    Elton’s tribute to Liberace.

  49. Katy Perry Butt Yoga Pants
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    ROAR!

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