Welcome the the last The Crap We Missed that I’ll be preparing for you until I’m back from vacation. Not sure if Fish will put these together because when I asked, he just yelled “Coffee, NOW! And what have I told you about wearing pants in my office?!” So, hopefully if you don’t get a real TCWM for a while this will hold you over because it’s got some good shit in it. For starters, there’s a nice example of when motherhood goes great as opposed to when it skids off the road onto a dairy farm. There’s also David Beckham wordlessly responding to the question “What do you miss most since getting married to Posh?” Then there’s the usual smattering of train-wreck faces and partially visible breasts, but I need to take a moment here and salute the producers of Spring Breakers. They broke into the Final Five without bikinis, but rather, with their brilliant TV marketing plan. “Alright girls, when they ask about the plot, go silent and make blowjob faces.” Bravo sirs, bravo.
See you guys in a week,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
For lack of something wittier to say… would do.
Donkey boner !
MMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
What’s with the gallery of all pregnant women?
Damn, I wonder if she’ll get that hot body back.
Money can buy a lot of things…
Looks like they both have had a lot or practice opening their mouths up wide. I like that in a woman.
It’s a prerequisite for making it in Hollywood.
Man, that seems like an awful lot of effort just to look like shit.
“So that’s Demi Moore’s vagina, huh? Um . . . why do you still have that on your phone?”
“Eh! Eh! Duuude, looks like a lay-day!!”
Even after 3.5 years of rotting, Michael’s carcass is still the most talented Jackson.
Whoa, what happened to the bitchy one on Lost? And since when does she have a name?
Is scratch and sniff a pregnancy thing?
Flynn Lives!
The French may love Jerry Lewis, but Jack’s “Glavin” needs some work.
Obviously reminds them of the last time they saw Kristen Stewart.
The Truth is under that dress.
He appears to be mesmerized by it’s dark shiny surface.
The dolphin looks away. Poor thing knows what’s coming. So much humiliation for a small piece of fish and a session with the boucy ball.
Perspective is one hell of a thing. She looks slim and sexy from this angle.
I guess the advantage of skipping high school to be a Disney star is that these dopey experiments that teachers trot out every year are still exciting. Disadvantages include loss of soul and eventual evolution into an addict who turns tricks.
Argh, my joke has been stolen.
Tiny forest ranger is not impressed.
Once I looked closely, did I laugh.
C’mon baby, come ta’ papa, I’ll kiss ya’ fuckin’ dalmatian.
She’s gone to plaid!
Lumpy ass, yuck. Also, check out Life of Pi in the background.
Animals can sense evil. The dolphin knows that he’s the one who unleashed the plague known as the Kardashians on the world.
Jesus Christ what happened.
Nothing some Botox and a time machine can’t cure.
If you combined her with Nicole Kidman, you could probably make a whole bovine.
Don’t pull that string!!
Jesus. These people never close their goddamn mouths.
Mmm, hot, wet, and slippery. Just like me after a night at the Blue Oyster.
Delicious pregnancy tits. She’s just delicious all over.
“Did you eat Mexican food for lunch?”
I usually think he’s pretty cool, but he looks like a complete asshole here. Fix that fucking hat.
Neither of them has ever had carnal knowledge of a human female.
It’s about this long and this thick. And that’s just Victoria’s dick.
Uncomfortable Asian lady for the win!
Mom
Move stars or average douchbags from Dubuque?
Go ahead and smoke, baby. You don’t have much to look forward to in life anyway. What’s a little cancer to you?
“How you rike dat? HOW YOU RIKE DAT?!”
Might as well smell as bad as you look
Opening act–The Pips.
Glad that photo is above the waist ’cause I don’t want to see his penis.
He must have nailed the audition for Lennie Of Mice and Men.
Prepping for his starring role in “The Col. Sanders Story.”
It’s afraid.
“And if you lose we eats it whole.”
Bieber was never that big…
She’s never seen Bieber’s “dick”. He’s not into chicks.
Maybe she’s born with it.
Maybe it’s cocaine-elline.
“The last time I saw a whole that big, I couldn’t sit down for a week!”
“And here’s a close up of Mila’s Kunis.”
Jennifer Lawrence gave me some awesome weed last night. Did I mention she has a great ass.