The Crap We Missed – Friday 2.7.14

February 7th, 2014 // 249 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, a lighter than usual smattering of celebrity buffoonery on account of us still being in the middle of renegotiating our photo agency deals, which yes, of course, means we’re holding out for a live 24/7 video stream of Prince Charles. In the meantime, I’ve crammed this thing full of Instagrammed ass (even more than normal) and Swingin screaming, so don’t act like daddy took all of your candy away.

I even got Jeremy Renner in the latest video game to film adaptation Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag (Is My Grindr Avatar That Means Meet Me In The Bathroom At Ralph’s),

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Gabrielle Union Clippers Game
    AZ Ken
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    demonstrating how taking a shot to the eye can get you a million dollar engagement diamond. Hillary Duff was not available for comment.

  2. Joe Biden 30th Street Amtrak Station
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    “I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you.”

  3. Elizabeth Olsen Side Boob Nipple In Secret Premiere
    patch
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    Jared Leto does look kinda hot here.

  4. Coco Shelf Ass Swimsuit Beercan On Buttcheek Instagram
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    If we ever see a Craigslist add that says, “Can squat down to dick level in stripper heels, and there’s somewhere to set your beer,” we’ll know who it’s from.

  5. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Ganzfeld Haunting Premiere
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    The man does a great Tony Clifton imitation.

  6. Ian McShane Cuban Fury Premiere
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    Glada’s head, sure, but on whose body?

  7. Giada De Laurentiis Cleavage Go Red For Women The Heart Truth Red Dress Collection 2014 Show
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    Glada’s head, sure, but on whose body?

  8. Coco Shelf Ass Swimsuit Beercan On Buttcheek Instagram
    Egg McMuffin
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    God. What a fat, disgusting slob.

  9. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Bra Stuffed Tiger Instagram
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    That stuffed tiger had to prove he was a billionaire to get that far.

    • Mike Goldman

      She’s really losing her looks. I encourage anyone to type “Miranda Kerr 2006″ or “Miranda Kerr 2007″ into google images to see what I mean. It’s not that she’s becoming less attractive, it’s just as she gets older that whole cute, tanned, Aussie-girl-next-door with the dimples factor is wearing off. I’m afraid she’s becoming a bit of a cold-hearted, uppity, New York socialite and businesswoman who only seems to care about KORA organics and what her next move in her career will be. Candice is the new miranda now

  10. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Bra Stuffed Tiger Instagram
    George P. Burdell
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    They’re great!!!!

  11. Lea Seydoux Nipples The Grand Budapest Hotel Premiere 64th Berlin International Film Festival
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    Goddamn, if Molly Ringwald ain’t bangin’ for her age.

  12. Leonardo DiCaprio Martin Scorsese Jonah Hill Guys Face In Crotch 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
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    How did you guys get a camera into Jonah Hill’s dreams?

  13. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Bra Stuffed Tiger Instagram
    Def Jam
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    I’d stuff that pussy. :P

  14. Leonardo DiCaprio Guys Face In Crotch 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
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    You know Jonah Hill just bit hard on his lip while chewing a snickers (King size, of course) looking at this pics…

  15. Leonardo DiCaprio Guys Face In Crotch 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
    Def Jam
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    “Sorry, I need a surgeon to surgically remove Jonah Hill from my jock. Excuse us.”

  16. Leonardo DiCaprio Martin Scorsese Jonah Hill Guys Face In Crotch 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
    dontkillthemessenger
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    Why do I get the feeling Misery 2 will begin with Leo tied to Jonah’s bed?

  17. Elizabeth Olsen Side Boob Nipple In Secret Premiere
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    To this day, Saget regrets not targeting the sluttier sister…

  18. Leonardo DiCaprio Martin Scorsese Jonah Hill Guys Face In Crotch 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
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    “I’m soooo having Leo put that into my ass later..”

  19. Leonardo DiCaprio Martin Scorsese Jonah Hill Guys Face In Crotch 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
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    Even while sharing the stage with the great Martin Scorsese, Jonah can’t tear his adoring eyes off his beloved Leo.

  20. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Bra Stuffed Tiger Instagram
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    The stuffed tiger is apprehensive. He can smell the Beiber on her.

  21. Leonardo DiCaprio Martin Scorsese Jonah Hill Guys Face In Crotch 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
    George P. Burdell
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    “Did you really let a guy out blow you, Leo. I though we had a special relationship. You said I was the only guy whose mouth had the right super model shape. O, why Leo? Why!!!

    Are you coming back to my dressing room later?”

  22. Coco Shelf Ass Swimsuit Beercan On Buttcheek Instagram
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    I like the green oil drum provided for scale.

  23. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Ganzfeld Haunting Premiere
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    Listen all of y’all it’s a sabotage!

  24. Coco Shelf Ass Swimsuit Beercan On Buttcheek Instagram
    Def Jam
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    Proof, her ass has its own gravity field.

  25. Ian McShane Cuban Fury Premiere
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    Hasselhoff sure is chipper after visiting a BK…

  26. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Ganzfeld Haunting Premiere
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    Andy Kaufmann’s estate should sue.

  27. Giada De Laurentiis Cleavage Go Red For Women The Heart Truth Red Dress Collection 2014 Show
    George P. Burdell
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    Living bobble-head.

  28. Nicki Minaj Topless Star Pasties Instagram
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    You mean she’s NOT a blonde??? Next you’ll tell me she has no penis…

  29. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Bikini Instagram
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    doesn’t she have some loose skin she needs to grind? I think rent is due.

  30. Giada De Laurentiis Cleavage Go Red For Women The Heart Truth Red Dress Collection 2014 Show
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    She looks like a bobble-head doll with nice tits.

  31. Giada De Laurentiis Cleavage Go Red For Women The Heart Truth Red Dress Collection 2014 Show
    Def Jam
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    I wanna bang her while she screams, “Spa-geh-teh!

  32. Joe Biden 30th Street Amtrak Station
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    He kinda looks like an old Stephen Colbert.

  33. Lara Spencer George Clooney GMA
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    “Laura, I’m serious. Double-stuffed anal or GTFO…”

  34. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Ganzfeld Haunting Premiere
    Def Jam
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    …meanwhile on the set of Troll 2 (the reboot).

  35. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Bra Stuffed Tiger Instagram
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    Cleavage and Hobbes

  36. Jeremy Renner Peacoat Hood Up Robocop After Party
    Def Jam
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    All he needs now, is some Skittles.

  37. Lara Spencer George Clooney GMA
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    It looks like Clooney made her turn her chair into a slip n’ slide.

  38. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Bra Stuffed Tiger Instagram
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    Yo dawg, I got mad skillz on dat crane game and I got this for you, girl.

  39. LeAnn Rimes Butt Thong Bikini
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    Didn’t Wilford Brimley used to make commercials for LeAnn’s ass?

  40. Joe Biden 30th Street Amtrak Station
    Def Jam
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    “If your happy and you know it, clap your hands!” (side note: The vice-president has his own podium? We live in a sick world. :P)

  41. Lara Spencer George Clooney GMA
    dontkillthemessenger
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    She’s imagining getting banged by Steve-O after being dumped by George Clooney.

  42. Kelly Brook Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Def Jam
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    Mommy…mommy. Now its dark. DONT YOU LOOK AT ME!!

  43. LeAnn Rimes Butt Thong Bikini
    dontkillthemessenger
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    I’ve seen worse.

  44. Tracy Anderson Cleavage Mark And Estel Fashon Show
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    Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet…

  45. Elizabeth Olsen Side Boob Nipple In Secret Premiere
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    Nice twins, Olsen.

  46. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Ganzfeld Haunting Premiere
    joe
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    Wolfman Jack-off

  47. Lara Spencer George Clooney GMA
    Def Jam
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    You have to admit…he’s got amazing penis reach. If you’ve seen Japanese anime tentacle porn, you get the idea.

  48. Giada De Laurentiis Cleavage Go Red For Women The Heart Truth Red Dress Collection 2014 Show
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    I hate these Steve Madden ads…

  49. Leonardo DiCaprio Martin Scorsese Jonah Hill Guys Face In Crotch 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
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    Jonah got an award too, but he ate it, thinking it was made out of chocolate.

  50. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    dontkillthemessenger
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    Ballet Bodies, Los Angeles, California… let me write this down.

    Completely unrelated question: Stuff you say on the Internet can’t be entered into evidence, right?

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