Awesome. Now I can’t stop trying to remember the warthog’s name from The Lion King.
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where we see that Whitney Houston‘s back at the top of her game, Russell Brands‘s nipples will feed Beverly Hills’ homeless (as well as sex them all into salvation) and for Christ’s sake will someone give Michael Cera a van and a map to the Second Mile Headquarters already?
Something tells me today’s Final Five anonymously found its way into Wilmer Valderrama ‘s inbox,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
“Dis is my im-ee-ta-shun of Charles Bronson drinking brake fluid.”
Phish: please contact TMZ, CelebSlam, Drunken Stepfather, Amy Grindhouse, TooFab, Bleacher Report, Just Jared, BuzzFeed, Hollywood Tune, DListed, Pop Sugar, IDLYINW. The Fab Life, etc. etc. etc. (I imagine all of you editors madly texting ant Tweeting each other all day long) and put a 6-month moratorium on all things Kardashian. Not a pic, not a word. Like they don’t even exist.
Since they’re fame-whores, who knows what lengths they’ll go to to get attention?
When the only people who report on them are People, EW and The National Enquirer, what lengths will thy go to to get a headline?
And STILL not get one.
Who’s with me?
(besides, the ‘getting peed on’ and ‘Sasquatch/Wookie’ jokes in the Comments section are getting a little tired.
Where’s the fucking “LIKE” button for the comment above?
2 thumbs up for this post.
outstanding
Yes, this.
YES. All the jokes have been made & re-made. Time to put an end to it.
yes please, make it stop! whatever the fuck that is
Oh HELL Yes. Brilliant.
I love watching this guy paint ‘happy little trees’!
Some poor fool has an orange mess in his pants now
“Give me all of your money so I can be photographed giving it to this hobo” Russell said to his writer Barry.
The exact moment Radcliffe realizes how far he’s fallen that he’s standing next to Mario Lopez.
Got damn, he’s pretty effing hot for 64 years old! I say, got DAMN!
Agreed. I only wish that I could look like this at 64. Hell…I wish that I could look like this NOW. (Yes…I’d turn black if it meant looking this good.)
The Mexican and Pinata
Omigod! My shadow! Six more weeks of not eating!
heh
Carl Weathers: BAMF.
hell yeah he is
Who is that?
I don’t think Selena envisioned being reincarnated as an angsty, mutilating teenager
Tryin’ to get that cool, retro 70′s pornstar look going on, seeing as there are 2 Linda Lovelace bio-pics in production.
Problem is, the Brown Bag under his arm has donuts in it, not booze, and his other hand’s on his cellphone’s speed-dial to his Mom in Brampton, Ontario should he come across any “shady” characters he comes across.
I swear I bought an 1/8th from this guy back in high school.
Yeah, no.
Minka Kelly, hot on the trail of the Mystery Machine. “Those meddling kids won’t mess with my plans this time!”
She’s not really clowned up for a change. I like it. I’d demolish that ass.
Gravity has already nuked that ass.
Model for the Rolling Stones urinal?
You cut off the shoes, the ass AND the puppy…..WTF?
why would you do that? STOP CENSORING PUPPY DICKS!
http://cdn1.gossipcenter.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/fullsize_image/images/m/mcphee-2212-%20%284%29.jpg
Aw, what a cute little pooper.
Tony and Bernardo josh around backstage before the knife-fight.
JLH is gonna be PISSED that someone’s stealing her fashion/engineering secrets.
Woody Harrelson narrowly sneaks through the crowd by making them think that he’s really Wesley Snipes.
Here’s a good rule of thumb for wearing scarves and knit hats: if the rest of your outfit includes a winter coat, go ahead, because it’s fucking cold outside. If it only consists of tight jeans and a t-shirt made of pantyhose, reconsider.
“Is that the craft services table? I’ve got a per deim to save.” (I’m so happy Arrested Development is coming back.)
Kim K. attributes her natural skin tone to nightly moisturizing with Cheeze-Whiz.
It’s just nice that she doesn’t use Minwax like Christina.
I would love to see a picture of her when she first wakes up and then spend the rest of my life regretting having seen it.
“Hey, Regis…you’ll never get another piece of THIS ass!”
Apollo Creed has aged well. Good job, dude.
No no no guys, it’s Pumbaa!! Kind of like Wookiee, but in Africa, not Kashyyyk.
It’s been said before, but bears repeating: “If you put a pig in an ugly dress, it’s still a pig. In an ugly dress.”
Trying to be a real boy Pinocchio enrolls in Bayside High School and meets Slater.
My shadow is so fat.
You can’t even trust bottled Indian water.
“Hey, everybody. Let’s give it up and give a round of applause for Clyde Crashcup…!!!”
“I don’t LIKE Indian food!”
Damn, stew does a body good.
She’s tried to smoke her ring on 5 different occasions.
Yeah, who is it ? She (it) looks like 16 miles of bad road.
Here we see a very attractive young starlet wiping her dog’s ass. It begs the question, “Who is the master and who is the pet?”
I hate that nobody knows the difference between “begs the question” and “raises the questions”.
The former is a type of logical fallacy, not a real question…the latter is actually a question.
Today’s dose of pedantry is brought to you by the letters “F” and “U”.
Can you explain that in terms a 5th grader might understand, so most of the site gets its!
Hey, leave those children alone!
Knows his tie knots *and* his grammar?
McFeely, you just got all kinds of hotter.
He’s taking douche lessons from Mario and it looks like he’s becoming a A student.
Keeping the sun at your back is always a good tactic.
I was so sorry to hear about Russell Brand’s passing. Oh, wait…he didn’t? Ahhhh FUCK! Never mind!
Flavor Flav remains unimpressed.
Was just going to ask when they starting hanging out. Imagine if those two were in a room with Snooki and JWoww. Can a super strength hybrid of AIDS cause a room to explode?
“OK, Mario, I’m smiling just like you are…NOW do I look macho?”
You know, just two adults getting a stew on.
I mean it’s not even about the doing it part, but that’s a part of it, but it’s not-it’s not the whole thing.
“According to the angle of my shadow it’s 2:00!”
Note to Micahel Cers: No one knows its PBR if you keep it in a paper bag.
Anyone remember this guy from High School? The wimpy, awkward kid who discovered he could grow a mustache, and so does thinking it will make him cool…but instead looks like a wimpy, awkward kid with a sad mustache?
Michael Cera looks like he just got done raping that kid.
Just because he was taking pictures at the playground doesn’t mean he did anything illegal.
she looks like she just left an audition for a remake of “Blade Runner” and was told they were going to stick with Rutger Houer.
+1