The Crap We Missed – Friday 2.24.12

February 24th, 2012 // 580 Comments

“I don’t remember ordering flapjacks.” – Stephen Hawking, just now.

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which is basically everything considering our entire day fell into a Stephen Hawking sex addict hole that I’m proud to say it never crawled out of. On that note, enjoy today’s alternating Final Five that’s for both the ladies and the gents, yet somehow all for me because it’s not like I haven’t spoiled myself by pretending to be a pimp physicist with a robot voice on every goddamn post.

To professionalism!

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Wee-Man’s next girl friend.

  2. Will Smith
    Commented on this photo:

    Brother still can’t get a cab.

  3. Terrence Howard Mystery Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    Hope she’s not another racist.

  4. Kimora Lee Simmons Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Miss Simmons, this gentleman is next in line for his fellatio.”

  5. Colin Farrell Moustache Pinstripe Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    Nobody plays depressing drunks quite like the Irish.

  6. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    ktulu
    Commented on this photo:

    Her tits are fleeing in confusion

  7. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Meet the next Carnie Wilson

  8. Simon Cowell Drunk Beer Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like somebody just drank a cigarette.

  9. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Fat bitch got stretch marks

  10. Dina Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Just spotted her next John.

  11. Angela Simmons Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She forgot her people can’t swim. That was close.

  12. Terrence Howard Mystery Woman
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    You have to admire someone with the guts to try to pull off a velvet jacket.

  13. Nicole Richie Cleavage
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    If she wanted to go for the Britney Murphy look, she should have gone more gray-skinned and dehydrated.

  14. Donald Sutherland
    Commented on this photo:

    Kiefer gets to ride for half price this way.

  15. Will Smith
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Why YES, I’ll be in your shitty movie!! Can one of my kids be in it too?

  16. Minnie Driver
    Commented on this photo:

    She only about an inch away from being a Cyclops

  17. Michael K. Williams Bowtie
    Commented on this photo:

    “Indeed.”

  18. Kimora Lee Simmons Cleavage
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s having to pull out her ID to let people know who Kimora Lee Simmons is.

  19. Simon Cowell Drunk Beer Bottle
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Show us your MOOBS

  20. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks great for being 4 months pregnant.

  21. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s nice when pregnant women are still up for a handjob.

  22. Colin Farrell Moustache Pinstripe Suit
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how many people it took to pull him off someone’s wife and dress him in that suit.

  23. Simon Cowell Drunk Beer Bottle
    Hank E. Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait… THIS is the bottle I pissed in!

  24. Kate Upton Cleavage Low Cut Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the tree saw her coming and popped a little wood.

  25. Dina Lohan
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Get ready to run Allie, I think I smell a producer!

  26. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she have eyeballs? Never seen ‘em.

  27. Joustin Beaver Justin Bieber Lawsuit
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if the Help is mental.

  28. Jon Hamm
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    He makes “slob” look HAWT.

  29. Eva Longoria Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Honestly, it looks like somebody made an Eva Longoria doll out of an old saddle.

  30. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Dress
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    She has the hairline of Kelsey Grammar.

  31. Bar Refaeli Underwear Tennis Under Me
    Hank E. Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Finished the gallery strong as usual, well done.

  32. Bar Refaeli Underwear Tennis Under Me
    Commented on this photo:

    under me, over me, either way.

  33. Nicole Richie Cleavage
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    beat me to it…gonna say the farther away from Paris Hilton she gets, the better she looks.

  34. Donald Sutherland
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Santa departs for his well-earned vacation.

  35. Will Smith
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    skittley dat doo dat de doo

  36. Minnie Driver
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not actually yelling. That’s just how she looks all the time now.

  37. Simon Cowell Drunk Beer Bottle
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oopth! Thith ithn’t thathparilla!”

  38. Karissa Shannon Kristina Shannon
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    or this could just be captioned, “Any club in L.A., Thursday.”

  39. Clarence Beeks

    It always amazes me to see people who have so much money get such shit plastic surgery.

  40. Donald Sutherland
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the deal with old actors and scarves?

  41. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Dress
    maggy
    Commented on this photo:

    ELISABETTA CANALIS FOREVER!!!!!!

  42. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Just one…more…wafer…thin…mint?

  43. Nicole Richie Cleavage
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    When did she grow tits?

  44. Michael K. Williams Bowtie
    Jill
    Commented on this photo:

    That awkward moment when a suit fitting turns into an unexpected back massage

  45. Brittany Snow Cleavage
    malc0mn
    Commented on this photo:

    “See that nick on my forehad? If only there was a cool tale to it…”

  46. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey come on guys, cut her some slack. She’s 20 months pregnant.

  47. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    malc0mn
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t think of anything but ‘Mastodon’…

  48. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Moses part her chest?

  49. Michael K. Williams Bowtie
    Commented on this photo:

    So, slavery is back?

  50. Minnie Driver
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone get this biyatch some Crest Whitening Strips…

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