“I don’t remember ordering flapjacks.” – Stephen Hawking, just now.
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which is basically everything considering our entire day fell into a Stephen Hawking sex addict hole that I’m proud to say it never crawled out of. On that note, enjoy today’s alternating Final Five that’s for both the ladies and the gents, yet somehow all for me because it’s not like I haven’t spoiled myself by pretending to be a pimp physicist with a robot voice on every goddamn post.
To professionalism!
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Is Underwear Tennis a real thing?
It’s only as real as you want it to be.
In my world it would be.
It makes more sense than “Lingerie Football”.
Yep, and trust me, its preferable to a game of “Nutsack Horseshoes”.
It look nothing like Selena Gomez
Nice of that dress to create a path for my tongue.
“No, really! Then the little fucker sits on my lap and asks me for a football!”
Looks like he’s checking out Keibler’s ass in the next picture –>
“Your cargo plane is waiting, M’am.”
Fizzy Lifting Drink…not perfected since 1971.
McFeely’s head is going to explode when he sees the tie.
WHAT THE FUCK??? And with a purple velvet jacket??? AGH I’m so mad I could slap a bitch!
She is so life like. You can always her the screech of the banshee.
Why oh why would you wear horizontal stripes at 10 months pregnant?!?!
It’s a great big fashion FUCK U to the world.
“How about…now? Now does it look like I have a rack?”
Win
i actually enjoyed that latest karate kid movie
Since it had no actual karate in it, just call it “The Nepotism Kid” instead.
It’s like double the hotness…that’s been thoroughly raped and drowned in vodka.
kill it with fire!
He wore the same outfit to the “Honoring the Irish in Breakfast Cereals Awards” event last week, where he handed out “The Lucky Charm” trophy. Next week, he’s off to the “Honoring the Irish in Bathing Awards” in hopes of winning the coveted “Irish Spring” award. Yes, I do have too much time on my hands, and yes I do watch too much tv.
Fucking hilarious
hahahah
Aww, that girl in the back is so sad looking… outfit all wrong and apparently, the wrong shade of natural skin tone when compared to Eva.
“I captured him on the streets of Taiwan. His name is Backdraft, and he likes to burn things.”
Alright, Fish. How in the fuck is John Hamm looking like a dischevled bum “for the ladies” and the men get Bar Raphaeli in her underwear? If you think this is what ladies want it’s no wonder you never get laid.
Agreed. I can’t stand to see him out of his Don Draper dapper wear. It’s a parallel universe I want nothing to do with!
I read about close encounters of the third kind but this scared the shit out of me!
I thought it was Pippa in the preview thingee.
Somewhere in England, a nurse is helping type “I’d blacken her hole with my cyber dick” on Stephen Hawking’s computer.
Also acceptable would be: “Stephen Hawking would hit that… with his keyboard.”
Actually, Stephen Hawking would just drool on it and make the whole thing weird and uncomfortable.
I would give her a nice new fiver to stick those melons in Dr Hawking’s face. That’s a winning situation for all involved.
Emma Watson’s not going to like getting her dress back all stretched out like that.
I understand that making fried eggs out of leather is a good idea for storage and longevity, but who’s going to want to eat them?
She has stretch marks in her boobs
who cares, many people do
why do you have to call her out on it?
to make yourself feel better
stfu
It’s just that, when you pay a fortune to have your breasts unnaturally stuffed (and poorly at that), you might as well add that extra few hundred dollars to get the stretch marks lasered off.
You can’t laser off stretchmarks, retard. It’s not a magic wand, it’s a laser.
I want!
Damn it! Who fed Gizmo after midnight?
You win this round.
Britney Murphy dead/alive conspiracy theories start here. Our 21st century Elvis.
i thought the SAME EXACT THING!! whoa! also, where did she get tits!?!
Eva is like a Sliding Doors version of Snooki. I’m going to go kill myself now.
Why does she think the “raccoon eyes” look good?
It looks like she’s wearing a chestplate made out of silly putty and bronzer.
What the hell happened to this chick?
“Oh, hey girlfriend!”
Maybe she should’ve invested that money in her face. Because…ouch.
100% spot on. No matter how big the boobies get, she’ll still have that mug sitting on top of them. YIKES.
At least you can put a bag on it….errr wait let’s correct that.
At least you can put a potato sack on it that will cover the face and her wonk boobs.
Looks like it’s time for the roach from MIB to get a new skin suit.
Oh dear, she’s gone full muumuu.
HaHa! She went to Tara Reid’s plastic surgeon.
Yeah, with a “Buy One — Get One Free” coupon she got out of the Pennysaver.
No, she went to Tori Spellings plastic surgeon. They both have that “somebody hit me in the sternum with a baseball bat, caved in” look
Fatso baboon face….with a heaping side of crazy.
Everybody thinks they can impersonate Rene Zellweger
A true professional always stretches before every event…
‘It costs how much extra to dye the eyebrows?…Fuck that, noone will notice.’
Mommy, why’s that homeless man trying to steal our puppy and our luggage?
Bitter Beer Face!!!
Smooth
Keeping with the long standing tradition that black guys can’t smile in a photograph.
I particularly loved the touching and emotional portrayal he turned in as Bullseye, the Irish hitman from the movie Daredevil.
And I particularly loved how they subtly clued us in to Bullseye’s Irishness with a song that begins, “You see, I’m Irish, but I’m not a leprechaun…”
Mischa Barton looks better than Brittany Snow? What is the world coming to?
She has an enormous forehead vein, but it doesn’t interfere at all with the ass.
Is she yelling at someone in her fake American accent or her fake British accent!
fuck, this is not how i wanted to start my weekend.
Kimora Lee Simmon’s face reverts to its default setting.
HOLY MARY, MOTHER OF GOD!!