The Crap We Missed – Friday 2.24.12

February 24th, 2012 // 580 Comments

“I don’t remember ordering flapjacks.” – Stephen Hawking, just now.

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which is basically everything considering our entire day fell into a Stephen Hawking sex addict hole that I’m proud to say it never crawled out of. On that note, enjoy today’s alternating Final Five that’s for both the ladies and the gents, yet somehow all for me because it’s not like I haven’t spoiled myself by pretending to be a pimp physicist with a robot voice on every goddamn post.

To professionalism!

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Bar Refaeli Underwear Tennis Under Me
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Underwear Tennis a real thing?

  2. Joustin Beaver Justin Bieber Lawsuit
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    It look nothing like Selena Gomez

  3. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Dress
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice of that dress to create a path for my tongue.

  4. Donald Sutherland
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, really! Then the little fucker sits on my lap and asks me for a football!”

  5. Michael K. Williams Bowtie
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he’s checking out Keibler’s ass in the next picture –>

  6. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    “Your cargo plane is waiting, M’am.”

  7. Simon Cowell Drunk Beer Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    Fizzy Lifting Drink…not perfected since 1971.

  8. Terrence Howard Mystery Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    McFeely’s head is going to explode when he sees the tie.

  9. Minnie Driver
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    She is so life like. You can always her the screech of the banshee.

  10. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    YoMamma
    Commented on this photo:

    Why oh why would you wear horizontal stripes at 10 months pregnant?!?!

  11. Nicole Richie Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “How about…now? Now does it look like I have a rack?”

  12. Will Smith
    dooood
    Commented on this photo:

    i actually enjoyed that latest karate kid movie

  13. Karissa Shannon Kristina Shannon
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like double the hotness…that’s been thoroughly raped and drowned in vodka.

  14. Dina Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    kill it with fire!

  15. Colin Farrell Moustache Pinstripe Suit
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    He wore the same outfit to the “Honoring the Irish in Breakfast Cereals Awards” event last week, where he handed out “The Lucky Charm” trophy. Next week, he’s off to the “Honoring the Irish in Bathing Awards” in hopes of winning the coveted “Irish Spring” award. Yes, I do have too much time on my hands, and yes I do watch too much tv.

  16. Eva Longoria Cleavage
    YoMamma
    Commented on this photo:

    Aww, that girl in the back is so sad looking… outfit all wrong and apparently, the wrong shade of natural skin tone when compared to Eva.

  17. Donald Sutherland
    Commented on this photo:

    “I captured him on the streets of Taiwan. His name is Backdraft, and he likes to burn things.”

  18. Jon Hamm
    YoMamma
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright, Fish. How in the fuck is John Hamm looking like a dischevled bum “for the ladies” and the men get Bar Raphaeli in her underwear? If you think this is what ladies want it’s no wonder you never get laid.

    • selegnasol

      Agreed. I can’t stand to see him out of his Don Draper dapper wear. It’s a parallel universe I want nothing to do with!

  19. Dina Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    I read about close encounters of the third kind but this scared the shit out of me!

  20. Minka Kelly Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought it was Pippa in the preview thingee.

  21. Kate Upton Cleavage Low Cut Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere in England, a nurse is helping type “I’d blacken her hole with my cyber dick” on Stephen Hawking’s computer.

  22. Karissa Shannon Kristina Shannon
    Commented on this photo:

    Emma Watson’s not going to like getting her dress back all stretched out like that.

  23. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I understand that making fried eggs out of leather is a good idea for storage and longevity, but who’s going to want to eat them?

  24. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Isa
    Commented on this photo:

    She has stretch marks in her boobs

  25. Bar Refaeli Underwear Tennis Under Me
    Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    I want!

  26. Dina Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn it! Who fed Gizmo after midnight?

  27. Nicole Richie Cleavage
    shonzie
    Commented on this photo:

    Britney Murphy dead/alive conspiracy theories start here. Our 21st century Elvis.

  28. Eva Longoria Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Eva is like a Sliding Doors version of Snooki. I’m going to go kill myself now.

  29. Eva Longoria Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she think the “raccoon eyes” look good?

  30. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like she’s wearing a chestplate made out of silly putty and bronzer.

    What the hell happened to this chick?

  31. Will Smith
    Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, hey girlfriend!”

  32. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Aggie
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe she should’ve invested that money in her face. Because…ouch.

    • Crabby Old Guy

      100% spot on. No matter how big the boobies get, she’ll still have that mug sitting on top of them. YIKES.

    • vgirl

      At least you can put a bag on it….errr wait let’s correct that.
      At least you can put a potato sack on it that will cover the face and her wonk boobs.

  33. Simon Cowell Drunk Beer Bottle
    shonzie
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like it’s time for the roach from MIB to get a new skin suit.

  34. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh dear, she’s gone full muumuu.

  35. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    HaHa! She went to Tara Reid’s plastic surgeon.

  36. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Fatso baboon face….with a heaping side of crazy.

  37. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Everybody thinks they can impersonate Rene Zellweger

  38. Kimora Lee Simmons Cleavage
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    A true professional always stretches before every event…

  39. Dina Lohan
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘It costs how much extra to dye the eyebrows?…Fuck that, noone will notice.’

  40. Donald Sutherland
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Mommy, why’s that homeless man trying to steal our puppy and our luggage?

  41. Simon Cowell Drunk Beer Bottle
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitter Beer Face!!!

  42. Simon Cowell Drunk Beer Bottle
    Kiss My Ass Elmo
    Commented on this photo:

    Smooth

  43. Michael K. Williams Bowtie
    Commented on this photo:

    Keeping with the long standing tradition that black guys can’t smile in a photograph.

  44. Colin Farrell Moustache Pinstripe Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    I particularly loved the touching and emotional portrayal he turned in as Bullseye, the Irish hitman from the movie Daredevil.

    • And I particularly loved how they subtly clued us in to Bullseye’s Irishness with a song that begins, “You see, I’m Irish, but I’m not a leprechaun…”

  45. Mischa Barton
    Commented on this photo:

    Mischa Barton looks better than Brittany Snow? What is the world coming to?

  46. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Dress
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She has an enormous forehead vein, but it doesn’t interfere at all with the ass.

  47. Minnie Driver
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she yelling at someone in her fake American accent or her fake British accent!

  48. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    mrsmass
    Commented on this photo:

    fuck, this is not how i wanted to start my weekend.

  49. Kimora Lee Simmons Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Kimora Lee Simmon’s face reverts to its default setting.

  50. Bar Refaeli Underwear Tennis Under Me
    iLikeBooty
    Commented on this photo:

    HOLY MARY, MOTHER OF GOD!!

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