Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, which comes to you in the wake of me going to see A Good Day to Die Hard last night, so please excuse me if this post smells a little like shit. Trust me, I tried washing, but my eyes and ears will probably reek of it forever. The most polite comparison I can muster is this: Imagine you go out to your favorite restaurant, and oh sweet, your favorite waiter is working. Only today, instead of giving you badass service and pretending like you aren’t just another shitty customer, he eats your food in front of you while fucking your mother. Sorry if that seems crass, but every other analogy involved shooting babies. Oh almost forgot, today’s crap post, um let’s see we’ve got Bruce Willis has given up on life, as well as if you’re even thinking about seeing this rat’s asshole of a movie google distance from Moscow to Chernobyl first, and finally I’m on vacation! What, those pics didn’t make any sense?
Yippee ki– go to hell Twentieth Century Fox, you ruined everything,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Someone check his basement, NOW!
This is how Rosie signals to me. One nipple visible enter from front; two, from back. I love it when she feels dirty.
what if they’re both blinking?
in LA…hipster celebrity’s, in North Dakota…standard issue dipshits. lol!
Make fun of my clothes, and the bunny gets it.
Suddenly, I feel like skeet shooting.
Yes, I believe they HAVE taken more balls than that sir.
I wonder how much he pays to look this shitty….
Big head, small panties.
And that, ladies and gents, is why she’s the Blowjob Queen.
What has two thumbs and really wishes he’d taken advantage of Kelly Kapowski?
This guy!
Douchebags Gone Wild
Squeezing the boobies into the top seems to have caused it to rip at the seems. The bra must be made of titanium.
The perfect storm of Doucheness.
She looks like she’s on the Posh Spice lemon-and-water diet.
good call
I call this, giving the old Frank finger.
I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you…
Easy Rider he is not.
Jason Statham has to transport those nipples to his bedroom right now.
flap flap flap
go read sexylosers
You say your name is Rosie, but your Braille name tag says your name is “A A”.
Once again she mixed up his wig and coat.
Depp: I’m so cold.
Man: We need more scarves & hats!
Nurse: We need more scarves & hats!
Depp: I’m so hot!
Nurse: I think he has too many scarves & hats!
Man: Fewer scarves & hats!
Depp: I’m hot and cold at the same time!
Nurse: He needs more scarves & hats and he needs less scarves & hats!
Man: I’m afraid you’re right.
For an ecstatic second there, I thought I was witnessing him plunging to his death.
Just do porn.
This guy is relevant as Bob Dylan’s tuning fork.
If I saw him walking down the street I’d be tempted to give him my pocket change.
A lollipop is good practice.
He knows he’s not REALLY a vampire, right?
I don’t know, I think they really do drink human blood now.
Is this black Mary-Kate or black Ashley? I can never tell.
Bring me a hamster, a funnel, and a lama about this tall. And no questions!
Wow, I’m going to pretend that should I ever get pregnant, I’m going to look like this and not Kim Kardashian. Right? RIGHT?
Still so sexy.
Well, of course he’s scoring that. His pickup line is now an economical four words: “I have an Oscar”.
I happened upon J-Woww and Snooki while channel surfing and it was literally about her taking a dump and her boyfriend commenting on how smelly it was. Not kidding.
That sums up reality television perfectly. It’s just the TV industry taking a shit and everyone commenting on how much it stinks.
I remember years ago in the Newlyweds Jessica Simpson took a crap and Nick threw a fit because the whole house stunk from it. Hollywood can’t come up with anything new. Always just copying the classics.
“Stop it, Lennay! You’re tickling me!”
Good to see Antoine from Deuce Bigalow is back in action.
I’ve never wished for Amanda Bynes to be in Hawaii so hard in my life.
I came to write about an errant gas tanker jacknifing, but I think yours has better odds of getting the job done. Thumbs up.
Kourtney’s thoughts: “… Challenge accepted.”
Face still looks like a gay Jimmy Fallon.
Did she just wax Kim Kardashian’s back?
So glad she’s off “Boardwalk Empire”. She was too ugly for Steve Buscemi – for STEVE BUSCEMI.
She looks less dead than usual. Good for her.
Damn – he’s making Keith Richards look good.
Built that stomach in prison just to support the mountains of semen piled upon it there.
I was just about to say “I got this stomach by eating the corn out Tyrone’s shit while I was in the pen,” but your assessment is probably more accurate.
Damnit… now I gots nothing.
Is she trying to wink at me?
“Ping Pong”, or as the Chinese say, “Ping Pong”
Love that movie.
Looks to me like she’s deep throating that sucker.
C’mon Johnny, no matter what they say you can’t screw them all. And that last one was a guy.
Beating a woman is like riding a moped…oh wait.
Jloll