Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed and let me just say we are ending the week titty strong. Maybe to make up for the criminal penisfication of Miranda Kerr, or maybe because my sharply trained eyes and hardened heart would never fail to bring you this perplexing combo. While you struggle with the weirdest boner ever, please also enjoy Nick Nolte just getting better and better with age, ditto for Bill Paxton, as well as Chevy Chase, because he looks like he’s still doing alrig–AHHH!
For the love of God, could someone please make it illegal for John Travolta & Olivia Newton John to be in the same room?
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
I’m making me a t-shirt…”Some women can’t act. Get over it.”
“One moment, please! Nee-pulls not in ready state!”
Put some ice on it.
well the ugly glasses cover up a lot of the plastic face but then the leggings throw us back into hideous. *sigh*
Modeling the Mickey Rourke collection. We call this ensemble Neon Hobo.
Quick someone put a burka on that woman!
White trash to the max
Well, they say you do lose sensation in your extremities with diabetes.
*tabs over to People article telling us how gorgeous Jessica Chastain is*
yay! someone pretty!
Wow. Some women do need makeup.
“I Used to Be Hot. Now I’m Not.”
Now THAT’S a t-shirt. But make sure to manufacture them in XL.
You’re going to have to keep practicing before our meeting next week, Jennifer.
That’s the blissful look of a man who doesn’t give a fuck.
It’s a show and she’s wearing clothes, so she’s in.
*flips over to The Guardian and reads an article about Daisy Lowe, “supermodel”*
Yeah, she’s more of a so-so-model looking at these pics.
helen, i’m about to fap-again!
I just beat. a. ho.
Man, you guys are killing me with those comments, but seriously fuck Jennifer Lopez.
Lucky for her, they’re at a vodka-sponsored event. She’s getting lucky tonight!
Ya think ? Ugh.
I still have a 1990′s boner with her name on it…
Me too. Mine’s Charmed.
How do you barf on your own eyebrow?
that guy is a b
Just a heads up to Photo Boy: Posting this right after Candice Swanepoel technically qualifies as a war crime.
Don’t worry, I’ve got some of homeland security’s best agents on this. Enough is enough.
I still have a 1980′s boner with her name on it.
You should have contacted a physician after 4 hours.
Contact a physician? Fuck that! If I have an erection that lasts over 4 hours, I’m contacting the media!
OMG…did she finally lose some LBS? It’s about time, that fat cow.
In Soviet Russia, Nuts crack you!
*sigh*
I’m tired.
Who, and why?
Wow…who the hell is she?! I like her looks.
Hey I didn’t know Michael Starr from Steel Panther was a mainstream celebrity.
Spank me, Mommy! Spank me! I’ve been a bad boy!!
Way to end the week… thanks guys!
What..the…FUCK?
Ben Affleck cheated on this?! Good thing moron and douche mean different things so you can use both for him.
giggidy
Said the Dude’s T-Shirt.
If you used the Zoom tool you seriously need to seek psychiatric care. Don’t be in denial.
His ego has no place else to go. Quick, someone grab a needle.
The stiches from her plastic surgery lift are showing.
Well, the pants are very, very tight.
Ha! Pink! LMAO!
Welcome to the jungle.
The new Liza and David, ready for a night on the town.
Fixated on a guy in the front row, no doubt.
That lipstick actually looks good on her, and of course, tits.
Is this some weird fucked up parody of Old School?! Because that is one ugly plastic sex doll.
Hello? Mueller?
He just saw a girl in the front row peep her boyfriend’s phone.
Leaves of Grass? That doesn’t even make sense.
Yeah, screw you Walt Whitman and your entire life’s work.
Matthew McConaughey’s sunscreen allotment already has them over budget, so they had to scrounge for stuff left over from forgotten indie films of years past.
“Yep. I thought so. Booger.”
Would make a great Hitler!
Make you realize just how long ago the original Terminator was.
Laundry day…nothing to wear.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!