The Crap We Missed – Friday 12.7.12

December 7th, 2012 // 548 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed and let me just say we are ending the week titty strong. Maybe to make up for the criminal penisfication of Miranda Kerr, or maybe because my sharply trained eyes and hardened heart would never fail to bring you this perplexing combo. While you struggle with the weirdest boner ever, please also enjoy Nick Nolte just getting better and better with age, ditto for Bill Paxton, as well as Chevy Chase, because he looks like he’s still doing alrig–AHHH!

For the love of God, could someone please make it illegal for John Travolta & Olivia Newton John to be in the same room?

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Daisy Lowe Cleavage The Clothes Show Live Press Call In
    1NDUN
    Commented on this photo:

    The Clothes Show? I’d rather watch cheese or snow.

  2. Candice Swanepoel Butt Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s official… my job sucks.

  3. Bill Paxton Creepy Moustache Promise Land Premiere
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Paxton, Pullman, what’s the difference?

  4. Jennifer Garner Eating Bananas The Dallas Buyers Club Set
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere, Ben is realizing that her story about having a disease that keeps her jaw from opening that wide is just a WEB OF LIES!

    • It’s a disease that’s acquired at marriage.

      • Didn’t you know that when a wedding ring slides onto a woman’s finger, her jaw locks shut( except when she’s yelling at you or gorging on food), her sex drive drops precipitously and and sweatpants becomes her uniform? It’s all because of the ring.

      • One Ring to fool them all, One Ring to blind them,
        One Ring to string them along and in the darkness bind them.

      • Moo Cow Hunter

        Tom, I bow before your brilliance! If the Superficial ever has a Top Comments of the Year segment this should be in the top 10.

  5. Helen Flanagan Cleavage A Night Of Heroes: The Sun Military Awards
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    There aren’t too many actresses who are comfortable having their picture taken with a plug of Red Man in their mouth.

  6. Bill Paxton Creepy Moustache Promise Land Premiere
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    And yes, ladies, rides are indeed free.

  7. Chris Brown Sitting On Stage
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Beetin’ wimminz is hard werk, y’all.

  8. Mickey Rourke Sweat Stained Shirt Leather Jacket Velour Pants Knit Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like I can smell the vomit, cigarette smoke, and airplane bathroom through my laptop.

  9. Lucy Pinder Cleavage The Soviet Nuts Awards Party
    1NDUN
    Commented on this photo:

    Soviet Nuts taste like chicken.

  10. Helen Flanagan Cleavage A Night Of Heroes: The Sun Military Awards
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not sure if the photo needs color correction, or just her face.

  11. Candice Swanepoel Butt Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “Check out how veiny my leg is…it’s like one of kim kardashian’s boobs’

  12. Nick Nolte Pink Pants Dirty Jacket Hat
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    In the bag: his career.

  13. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Pompoeoes Fashion Line Anniversary Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Chris Kattan was allergic to bees.

  14. Chris Brown Sitting On Stage
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor guy. Sure, everyone thought about her. But did anyone even take a second to think about his cut-up knuckles?!?!

  15. Chevy Chase Fat Face The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Will claim credit for coming up with “The Hobbit” first in 3…2…

  16. Bridgette Marquardt Cleavage Voli Light Vodka Benefit
    richie
    Commented on this photo:

    Bridgette! Sweet & Sexy!

  17. Bill Paxton Creepy Moustache Promise Land Premiere
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    Your game is over man!!

  18. Amber Rose Huge Butt Pregnant Belly Yoga pants
    Commented on this photo:

    if she ever gets pregnant, she’s really going to look like shit.

  19. Melanie Griffith Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess when you get to a certain age, you just get them to embroider a ‘youthful’ cameltoe motif onto your yoga pants…

  20. Mickey Rourke Sweat Stained Shirt Leather Jacket Velour Pants Knit Hat
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    M-i-c….k-e-y….. is lactaaaaating…

    Mickey Rourke!

    Mickey Rourke!

    Forever, let us hold his titties high!

  21. Melanie Griffith Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    *Grabs sharpie and starts tracing her cameltoe area*
    Cheaper than buying the latest trends.

  22. Jennifer Garner Eating Bananas The Dallas Buyers Club Set
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    You know your career is on the skids when you have to practice for a Michael Bay audition.

  23. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Pompoeoes Fashion Line Anniversary Dinner
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof that even scrunched up tits can’t fix all ugly….yikes!

  24. Adrienne Bailon Cleavage X Factor Viewing Party
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like at least one photographer has learned the “jingle your keys” technique for dealing with models.

  25. Rose McGowan Gay Right Support Tee Shirt
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    “Some Dudes Marry Ducks.
    Get Over It”

  26. Jason Statham
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m came here to pick up some chinese food and kick some ass… and I already got my chinese food.

  27. Chevy Chase Fat Face The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
    Commented on this photo:

    He called Peter Jackson halfway through and criticized the writing, gave the cast backhanded compliments, then left in a huff twenty minutes before it ended.

  28. Chevy Chase Fat Face The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
    Mr. Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    His high exaltedness, the Great Jabba the Hutt, has decreed that you are to be terminated immediately.

  29. Jason Statham
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s got exactly 48 minutes to get to the market and back. And the mob and FBI are both on his tail…

  30. Nick Nolte Pink Pants Dirty Jacket Hat
    guttboy
    Commented on this photo:

    Pulling a Bukowski.

  31. Linda Hogan Drunk Bra See Through Shirt Partying With Nick Hogan Sky Bar
    Mr. Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s hoping Nick’s the designated driver

  32. Candice Swanepoel Butt Lingerie Instagram
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Um Candice…there’s a man, Deacon Jones, who is here and he’s refusing to leave until you let him eat your ass. He’s already knocked out two of our security guards.”

  33. Bai Ling Butt Leather Pants Voli Light Vodka Benefit
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Never trust a kleptomaniac with big sleeves.
    ESPECIALLY at a vodka-sponsored event.

  34. Linda Hogan Drunk Bra See Through Shirt Partying With Nick Hogan Sky Bar
    guttboy
    Commented on this photo:

    The poster chidren for the afterschool special on emotional immaturity.

    • Jack Ketch

      Beam me up Scotty, no sign of intelligent life here. Is that “evil eye” sign supposed to be cool ? What IS that, anyways. People doing it look fucking dumb. Years ago it meant you were screwing around on your wife. WTF does it mean now ?

  35. Brooke Mueller Drunk
    Enidaj
    Commented on this photo:

    Definitely looking clean and sober here.

  36. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Pompoeoes Fashion Line Anniversary Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    someone said “vajazzle that pussy”…and this happened

  37. Brooke Mueller Drunk
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    And we shall call you “Dances with Adderall”

  38. Nick Nolte Pink Pants Dirty Jacket Hat
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s meeting Mickey Rourke at the airport…..

  39. Brooke Mueller Drunk
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here practicing her “I’m straight” look

  40. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Pompoeoes Fashion Line Anniversary Dinner
    Tillman
    Commented on this photo:

    Suddenly Sodom and Gomorrah seem like Salt Lake City and Omaha…

  41. Candice Swanepoel Butt Lingerie Instagram
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    If I were her, I would literally never stop admiring my own ass. Dear lord…

  42. Sofia Vergara Cleavage Bra Fading Gigolo Set
    Commented on this photo:

    God bless you, Photoboy. God bless you.

  43. Nick Nolte Pink Pants Dirty Jacket Hat
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone called dibs in the “Miami Vice” wardrobe castaway bin…

  44. Sir Ian McKellan The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Premiere
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, Cate. Why don’t you have a penis?”

  45. Bridgette Marquardt Cleavage Voli Light Vodka Benefit
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor hair has been bleached well beyond the line of insanity.

  46. Linda Hogan Drunk Bra See Through Shirt Partying With Nick Hogan Sky Bar
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow that old dude has some really big tits!

  47. Mickey Rourke Sweat Stained Shirt Leather Jacket Velour Pants Knit Hat
    1NDUN
    Commented on this photo:

    Scarecrow got ‘roids instead of a brain, raged on Diddy and took his pants.

  48. Nick Nolte Pink Pants Dirty Jacket Hat
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hammer Time!

  49. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Pompoeoes Fashion Line Anniversary Dinner
    Fribble
    Commented on this photo:

    You take two wax dummys, heat them with a blow torch, put them in a wind tunnel….

  50. Jessica Chastain Cleavage The Today Show
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Bad lighting is not your friend, girl.

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