The Crap We Missed – Friday 12.6.13

December 6th, 2013 // 402 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, where you can always count on me to STICK TO TITS OR STFU. (Hint: I’m the dumb one in this duo.) And today’s gallery won’t disappoint since I’m choosing not to rant about American “culture,” because I don’t believe in making fun of the handicapped. So here are some people of arguably reasonable intelligence for us to mock and berate based on their awful life choices. There’s Paz de La Huerta and some equally wasted guy in a vehicle because personal freedom (whoopsies!), Eric Johnson getting some privacy from the paparazzi by using his daughter’s body as a face shield, no really, and Russell Brand doing his usual urine content confirmation before sipping his tea.

See? That was relatively painless as far as liberal titblogs go. *hands tremble, try to click ‘Publish’* GAH! THIS! GO WATCH THIS!! Damnit, almost made it,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Cameron Diaz Mouth Wide Open Annie Set
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    GOOD LORD!!! Just… GOOD LORD!!!

  2. Roberto Cavalli Feeding Seagull Lina Nilson Bikini
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    You know in Italy it is considered good luck when a bird flies over… Ahhh, FUCK! Get the wet naps! Get the wet naps!

  3. Cameron Diaz Mouth Wide Open Annie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Martha Raye looks pretty good for—oh wait, she’s dead…

  4. Adrian Grenier Talking To Chick In Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Drop those two shitheads out of a plane and that photo is perfect.

  5. Adrian Grenier Talking To Chick In Thong Bikini
    Kuhn
    Commented on this photo:

    Adrian who?

  6. Cameron Diaz Mouth Wide Open Annie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I can see her kidneys from here.

  7. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    That chick is really fucking ugly. Are we even sure it’s a chick?

  8. Gerard Butler Talking To Chick In Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Gerard Butler is trying to decide if he wants to pay for another abortion.

  9. Adrian Grenier Talking To Chick In Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me guess… she was on the college equestrian team. Or a cheerleader.

  10. Adrian Grenier Talking To Chick In Thong Bikini
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Eat some burgers. Both of you.

  11. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Handprint In Concrete Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know what this chick is trying to tell me, but… TITS!

  12. Roberto Cavalli Feeding Seagull Lina Nilson Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuckin’ rich people, they can get anything that will impress their trophy girlfriends.

  13. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    Goddamn, did I ever laugh at this picture. But seriously, neither of these winners should be driving, by the looks of it.

  14. Adrian Grenier Talking To Chick In Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only one who was disappointed by that caption?

  15. Lady Gaga Eye Painted On Eyelid Crazy Makeup
    Commented on this photo:

    I was wondering if the women in Picasso paintings would be better-looking than Lady Gaga and now I know, yes, they are.

  16. Will.i.am Goofy Clothes Tophat
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s racist!

  17. Gerard Butler Talking To Chick In Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    “You keep a port-a-potty in your hotel room? Why?”
    “Come up and I’ll show you.”
    “Eww no”
    “I’ll put you in my next movie”
    “So it’s this way to your hotel right?”

  18. Lady Gaga Eye Painted On Eyelid Crazy Makeup
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, I’ve probably ripped off Madonna as much as I can,” thought Lady Gaga. “I guess I’ll move on to cubism and Boy George.”

  19. Angela Big Ang Raiola Mob Wives New Blood Launch Party
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck am I looking at here? Is that a woman? A human? Looks like someone who has never seen a real woman was trying to build one out of silly putty and stem cells.

  20. Cameron Diaz Mouth Wide Open Annie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ms. Diaz, Ms. Diaz! Can you tell the readers what skills you used to win over Alex Rodriguez?”

  21. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    You make fun, but do YOU have your own Zombie Johnny Depp? You do not.

  22. Gerard Butler Talking To Chick In Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Goddamn. There were some fine asses making the rounds of Miami beaches yesterday.

  23. Eric Johnson Covering Face With Daughter Maxwell
    Commented on this photo:

    Hiding behind a kid? This shithead will make it in Hollywood after all.

  24. Cameron Diaz Mouth Wide Open Annie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    That takes a lot of practice.

  25. Russell Brand Smelling Coffee Cup Messiah Complex Tour Discussion Apple Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Messiah Complex? I wish someone would do the world a favor and nail that unfunny fucker to a big piece of wood.

  26. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s L.A., so we know that’s not snow on their coats. Hmmm.

  27. Eric Johnson Covering Face With Daughter Maxwell
    Commented on this photo:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-BREATHES-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. How could anyone find fault with this picture. HILARIOUS.

  28. Jeff Garlin Kissing JJ Abrams Katie McGrath Childrens Defense Fund Hosts The 23rd Annual Beat the Odds Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess who just got cast as Leia and Jabba’s illegitimate son.

  29. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    On Superman’s Bizarro World, Bizarro Johnny Depp be not dating Bizarro Catherine Zeta Jones.

  30. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    By the greek gods there has to be a smell in there, that soap can’t cure.

  31. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Handprint In Concrete Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re getting the impression of the wrong appendages.

  32. Martin Sheen Opening Night Gala 10th Annual Dubai International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “‘Jackoff’? ‘Jagoff’? Either way, yes I’d say that accurately describes my son Charlie.”

  33. Cameron Diaz Mouth Wide Open Annie Set
    phantom duck
    Commented on this photo:

    yes, that should do it…

  34. Lady Gaga Eye Painted On Eyelid Crazy Makeup
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you really want to hurt me? Yes.

  35. Kendall Jenner Butt Yoga Pants TSA Checkpoint Body Scanner LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    America missed yet another chance to deport one of that vile brood. What the hell is the Department of Homeland Security for if not this?

  36. Lady Gaga Eye Painted On Eyelid Crazy Makeup
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s more Picasso now than woman. Her mind is cubist and evil.

  37. Bon Jovi Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice they let the middle one out of The Shire for a few days.

  38. Gerard Butler Talking To Chick In Thong Bikini
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Really? The new Porta-Potty 65 Wide has built in shock absorbers as is soundproof? *speed dials local dealer*

  39. Roberto Cavalli Feeding Seagull Lina Nilson Bikini
    phantom duck
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Rocky, watch me pull a cigarette out of a seagull’s ass!

  40. Cameron Diaz Mouth Wide Open Annie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Did you know her jaw actually unhinges before she eats our memories of her younger self?

  41. Kendall Jenner Butt Yoga Pants TSA Checkpoint Body Scanner LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    …and when they looked closely at the X-Ray, they discovered absolutely nothing in her skull cavity.

  42. Will.i.am Goofy Clothes Tophat
    Commented on this photo:

    “I need something that will make me look like a cross-dressing elevator operator.”

  43. Sandra Bullock Gravity Premiere Tokyo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Boy, I can tell you I haven’t had a black one of THESE in my hands in awhile!”

  44. Cameron Diaz Mouth Wide Open Annie Set
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Imagine all the pie she could fit in there.

  45. Samantha Ronson Giant Robot The Grove LA
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, from one messed up looking dude to another…WHAZZZUPPPP?

  46. Adrian Grenier Talking To Chick In Thong Bikini
    Polk
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude is tiny. That makes Murphy and Ari midgets.

  47. Russell Brand Smelling Coffee Cup Messiah Complex Tour Discussion Apple Store
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mr. Brand, we’re an Apple store. Would you either please just buy something or leave? And where did you get that chair and microphone from?”

  48. Martin Sheen Opening Night Gala 10th Annual Dubai International Film Festival
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody suddenly yelled: Charlie’s here!

  49. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Handprint In Concrete Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    My first thought was that the frame was filled with quick drying cement, and the next picture was the whole stage being spirited away with a zeppelin piloted by a cackling, mustachioed madman.

  50. Prince William 1st Battalion Irish Guards Afghanistan Medals Presentation
    Commented on this photo:

    Gonna be some good old-fashioned British buggery in the barracks tonight!

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