The Crap We Missed – Friday 12.28.12

December 28th, 2012 // 469 Comments

Welcome to a special Christmas Edition of The Crap We Missed. It took us a week to build and since Christmas is officially over, consider this your bonus stocking that we stuffed full of whores and douchebags, because we care. We tried including everyone this holiday season, so we left no erect nipple unturned, no awkward pose, or satisfied post-murder gaze cast aside. There’s even two Kim Kardashian shots because titties and “Oh shit, she likes doing what with the pee-pee now?” So unwrap Miley Cyrus delivering Daddy his present and have an intellectual debate about what delivered the death blow to Jesus’ b-day: Nicki Minaj‘s Cameltoe Extravaganza or filling a Santa suit with douche.

Oh yeah, we also found another gift behind the couch (Hint: It’s down there and it’s full of random bikinis),

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Rihanna Butt Tight Jeans
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone give her a right hook, so she’ll smile.

  2. Melanie Griffith Butt Yoga Pants
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    More like As-less.

  3. Val Kilmer Skinny Weight Loss
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m filing this picture under “S”, for “has been.”

  4. Sinead OConnor Yellow Teeth Bald Head
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Until I read the caption, I was going to say, Jonathan Lipnicki has fallen on hard times. Now I see the time are only “difficult.”

  5. Nicki Minaj Cameltoe Stretch Pants Cleavage Christmas Extravaganza
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me, or is this the most “normal” she’s ever looked?

  6. Nicki Minaj Cameltoe Stretch Pants Cleavage Christmas Extravaganza
    Sabado Gigante
    Commented on this photo:

    Come, they told me, on her rump-a-pump-pump. Me and my…oh, you get it.

  7. Lady Victoria Hervey Bony Chest Bikini
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the roughest looking 36-year-old I’ve seen since Lindsay Lohan.

  8. Sam Jones III Los Angeles Missioin
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Groove is in the heaaarrrrtttt

  9. Laurence Fishburne Bowler Hat Purple Shoes Laker Game
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Cowboy Curtis looks like a desperado here.

  10. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Twitter
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    New Xmas tradition at Jess’s appears to be watermelon smuggling. That’s obviously way too big a fruit under her shirt there to be a cantalope.
    I could be wrong. It might be a Hubbard squash.

  11. Chris Hemsworth Pushing Stroller Elsa Pataky Nipples
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess it just occured to him that he’s squandered his moment of fame and youth, being married with a kid

  12. Emily Blunt Butt Yoga Pants
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    No she doesn’t.

  13. Khloe Kardashian Kris Jenner Bruce Jenner Clippers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    they just noticed Kim and Kanye at the same game on the other side of the court.

  14. John Mayer Santa Costume Katy Perry Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not always this f@ggy, but when I am, I prefer it from behind.

  15. Nicki Minaj Cameltoe Stretch Pants Cleavage Christmas Extravaganza
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I’ll just cop a squat right here.

  16. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    For the hundredth time, Nicole, no I *HAVEN’T* seen John Connor.

  17. Diddy Mini Jet Ski Goggles
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Look, either learn to swim or stay out of the water.

  18. Nicki Minaj Cameltoe Stretch Pants Cleavage Christmas Extravaganza
    Commented on this photo:

    Gotta a little on my chin.

  19. Chloe Green Bikini Paddleboard
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I suddenly have the powerful urge to go spear fishing.

  20. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Sports Bra
    icanspotawhoreanywhere says
    Commented on this photo:

    mmmmmoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  21. Halle Berry Olivier Martinez
    Crowning
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, you could totally beat the shit out of that guy…but there’s only one way to find out.”

  22. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Twitter
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks particularly bovine in this picture.

  23. Khloe Kardashian Kris Jenner Bruce Jenner Clippers Game
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Hard to believe he was cloned from a once-respected Olympian.

  24. Coco Nipple See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Too bad she cheats on her husband with ghetto trash.

  25. Mariah Carey Huge Butt Tight Jeans
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:

    F THE JEANS THATS A MOM ASS!!!!

  26. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Clippers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Fat, smelly Armo trash. I wonder how much hair this thing waxes off its face every day?

  27. Antonio Banderas Puffy Jacket Snow Pants
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, because full snowboarding attire (including boots) is required to go shopping all day in snowless Aspen…

  28. Ian Somerhalder Scarf Fedora Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is this and why is he impersonating Johnny Depp?

  29. Mariah Carey Huge Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    MOOOOOO!!!

    • Inky Black

      You have to do it in a really high pitched voice and sustain it until people wince.

      MmmMmmMmmmmmmmOOOooooooOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooEEEEEEEEEoooooooooooooOOooEoooooooEoEoEoEoEoEoEooooooeh

  30. Nicki Minaj Cameltoe Stretch Pants Cleavage Christmas Extravaganza
    Commented on this photo:

    Living proof that Rupaul can be knocked up… by the Road Warriors from the WWF.

  31. Rihanna Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    I really hope that Chris Brown beats her to death sooner than later. That way we don’t have to see or hear about either one of them ever again. The stupid cunt will deserve it for getting back with him.

  32. Arsenio Hall Angry
    Trauma Queen
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was Jay-Z.

  33. Val Kilmer Skinny Weight Loss
    Trauma Queen
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my heavens! There are CALORIES in this vodka!

    • Trauma Queen

      The Superficial has decided that this comment should go under this photo, instead of the one it was intended for.

  34. Mariah Carey Huge Butt Tight Jeans
    Quasi
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a damn turtle shell….wtf?

  35. Russell Simmons Covered In Sand Doing Yoga
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    You can certainly see why all those young leggy wanna-be starlets are always draped all over him.
    Because he has money…that’s why.

  36. Rihanna Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like she is still on the beaten path.

  37. Russell Simmons Covered In Sand Doing Yoga
    Commented on this photo:

    Suppoedly he’s collaborating with Marlee Matlin on a new version of Deaf Comedy Jam.

  38. Russell Simmons Covered In Sand Doing Yoga
    WeAllHadOneSoIt'sNotRacist
    Commented on this photo:

    He cut off his prehensile tail?

  39. Ian Somerhalder Scarf Fedora Sunglasses
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    MTV circa 1984

  40. Vince Vaughn Knit Hat Frowning
    Commented on this photo:

    Ladies and Gentlemen, Mussolini’s Toe.

  41. Mariah Carey Huge Butt Tight Jeans
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    “See? This proves I’m Black.”

  42. Arsenio Hall Angry
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    “…I don’t THINK so.”

  43. Sinead OConnor Yellow Teeth Bald Head
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing Compares 2 Meth.

  44. Diddy Mini Jet Ski Goggles
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Sean.
    Combs.

    Enough with catering to these self-absorbed assholes.

  45. Arsenio Hall Angry
    EndMyPain
    Commented on this photo:

    So I’m seeing ads on WB saying the Arsenio Hall Show is coming back in August.
    Maybe the Mayan apocalypse is a slow burn kinda thing rather than one big bang.

  46. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Sports Bra
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Couldn’t lower her eyebrows if you paid her.

    Tho in that case, her mother would try like Hell to make it happen.

  47. Laurence Fishburne Bowler Hat Purple Shoes Laker Game
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Penguin reboot?

  48. Miley Cyrus Sex Doll In Car Twitter
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    She still has more air in her head than the doll.

  49. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Twitter
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    her nipples must be the size of dinner plates.

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