The Crap We Missed – Friday 12.20.13

December 20th, 2013 // 358 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you early because the Internet is consumed with nothing but Duck Dynasty while the rest of us are bagging out of work to finish shopping. Also, if Fish does another post about religious conservatives, I’m pretty sure he’ll swallow his tongue. What we can all agree on, however, is that every single person in this gallery deserves our scorn and cynicism, so let’s get started on that. We’ve got Danica Patrick in the Go Daddy commercial that will be all the porn Alex Rodriguez will ever need for the rest of his life, Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall causing and out-of-body experience, and Matthew Perry taking the failure of yet another sitcom super well.

And by super well, I mean with pills. Pills and booze,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Matthew Perry Scruffy Beard
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    “YO, where the pills at?!?!?!”

  2. Stephanie Seymour Son Peter Brandt II Boner Boy Velvet Jacket Designer Jeans
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    “Have you seen my mom? my peepe hurts”

  3. Sylvester Stallone Sign Of The Cross Tonight Show Jay Leno
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    a cross wont help someone destined for hell Sly, disgusting sister-rapist. again and again and again you’ll get the same treatment where you’re going

  4. Billy Ray Cyrus Onstage With Camp Freddy
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    where is your little black leather thong with dental floss string for your crack? and that side-tongue? oh you’re a serious artist are you?
    the man is fully dressed, tell your daughter to get some clothes on too, she is whoring nude assed on stage every night

  5. Gordon Ramsay Drunk Rose Club
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Busey joke.

  6. Joe Jonas In Car With Other Dude
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    could he look more gay? he met a lot of daddy’s at the chateau..

  7. Kelly Osbourne Double Chin Weight Gain Matthew Mosshart
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    ”this fat little ho keeps me close to ozzy”

  8. Billy Ray Cyrus Onstage With Camp Freddy
    blerg
    Commented on this photo:

    just making sure that Thicke guy doesn’t sneak up on him.

  9. Billy Ray Cyrus Onstage With Camp Freddy
    icu
    Commented on this photo:

    People actually showed up AND paid to see this orangutan? Here I thought my life was shitty….

  10. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    The Victoria’s Steroid show was a smash flop!

  11. Stephanie Seymour Son Peter Brandt II Boner Boy Velvet Jacket Designer Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t recognize him without his boner.

  12. Uma Thurman No Make Up Looking Tired
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember when morons used to pretend she was human looking and even attractive?

  13. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    President Madonna (2140 – 2148)

  14. Baron Hilton Paddleboarding Girlfriend Vanessa DuBasso Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Showing your ass crack. That’s a paddlin’.

  15. Baron Hilton Paddleboarding Girlfriend Vanessa DuBasso Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Being called Barron. Oh you better believe that’s a paddlin’.

  16. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s the cocaine donkey out of Batchelor Party! I fuckin love that guy!

  17. Gordon Ramsay Drunk Rose Club
    Commented on this photo:

    “Fuckin kick your ass, man! My Olive-Crusted Tuna with Spinach Ragù is the greatest!

  18. Courtney Love Drunk High Onstage With Camp Freddy
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Mmm…dumpy.

  19. Stephanie Seymour Son Peter Brandt II Boner Boy Velvet Jacket Designer Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice try with the jacket and vest to draw people’s eyes up, kid, but as soon as your mom walks by, we’re all still going to check down low.

  20. Andy Garcia Crazy Eyes
    Commented on this photo:

    Rebenga..!!!

  21. Kellan Lutz Eyes Closed On Cell Phone Behind The Wheel
    toopier
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s close our eyes together, then open them and see if we still
    see David Spade in the rear view mirror.

  22. Sylvester Stallone Sign Of The Cross Tonight Show Jay Leno
    Commented on this photo:

    So Van Helsing does this, And I’m like “Boy, have you got the wrong vampire.” Then I decapitate him with a shotgun. It’s more of a reboot than a straight adaptation.

  23. Hugh Jackman Swimming With Other Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “wolverine, my super-friend! Mind if I fly beside you?

  24. Billy Ray Cyrus Onstage With Camp Freddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Kenny Rogers has still got it!

  25. Courtney Love Drunk High Onstage With Camp Freddy
    Commented on this photo:

    I was at this gig. I took a Ping-Pong ball in the eye during Celebrity Skin and a doctor just drew a black dot on it and sent me home. Damn you Obamacare!!!

  26. Joe Jonas In Car With Other Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Eboneee and ivoreee
    Go together in perfect harmoneee
    Side by side in my Can-yon-ero
    He’ll be…felching meee!

  27. Rihanna Midriff Knee High Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Brian May has never looked hotter!

  28. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured… A large hole in the back of the stable that the horse just kicked out…

  29. Jamie Lynn Spears Goofy Smile The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess if you cake on enough makeup, you can make anything look somewhat good.

  30. Matthew Perry Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    PASSERBY: Hey it’s Eric Clapton! What up Clapton! I love your stuff!

  31. Courtney Love Drunk High Onstage With Camp Freddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow.. that’s attractive. NOT.

  32. Elisabetta Gregoraci Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s pretty aaaannnndddd… still living in the 70′s.

  33. Kellan Lutz Eyes Closed On Cell Phone Behind The Wheel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh yeah, been saving that one up for a while!”

  34. David Spade Checking Out Young Chick Walking By
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey baby. You like chicken. Well suck my dick, it’s foul.

  35. Kelly Osbourne Double Chin Weight Gain Matthew Mosshart
    Commented on this photo:

    “What did I tell you? DON’T eat the purple candy…”

  36. Kellan Lutz Eyes Closed On Cell Phone Behind The Wheel
    Commented on this photo:

    Travis Bickle waited patiently in the back seat…

  37. Dita Von Teese Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Von Teese, Police Chiropodist” *flashes badge*

  38. Stephanie Seymour Son Peter Brandt II Boner Boy Velvet Jacket Designer Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Gitrl in the background just realised she left her phone at home.

  39. Dakota Johnson Butt Tight Jeans Jamie Dornan Fifty Shades Of Grey Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, make sure my hair is just so for the scene where I pull out Dakota’s tampon.”

  40. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Greenie65
    Commented on this photo:

    Its literally like someone figured out a way to stuff my biggest nightmare into a pair of green booty shorts.

  41. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Family Reunion

  42. Billy Ray Cyrus Onstage With Camp Freddy
    chris.mayhem
    Commented on this photo:

    It was supposed to be a joint BJ & The Bear/My Two Dads reunion show, but neither the monkey nor Paul Reiser could bear being seen in public with Greg “All the Scarves” Evigan…

  43. Kris Humphries Boston Childrens Hospital Visit
    Mylanddownunder
    Commented on this photo:

    Surely a sick child’s wish wasn’t to meet an oversized special kid? Thanks Make-a-wish.

  44. Jamie Lynn Spears Goofy Smile The Today Show
    Mylanddownunder
    Commented on this photo:

    She had to tilt her head because the breeze between her ears was whistling. Very annoying………..or so I hear.

  45. Sylvester Stallone Sign Of The Cross Tonight Show Jay Leno
    Mylanddownunder
    Commented on this photo:

    Like a fat camp for Asian kids. I see lots of big chins.

  46. Kelly Rowland Cleavage Legs Hight Slit Dress The X Factor Season Three Finale
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking good. I’d like to bang her while ramming my thumb up her butt.

  47. Kris Humphries Boston Childrens Hospital Visit
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    Look, it’s the man who gave everyone cancer!

  48. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “Camilla’s cousin, always hamming it up for the camera.”

  49. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    TheO
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s embarrassing, they misspelled Sarah’s name on her stall.

  50. David Spade Checking Out Young Chick Walking By
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, such low hanging fruit…

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