The Crap We Missed – Friday 12.20.13

December 20th, 2013 // 358 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you early because the Internet is consumed with nothing but Duck Dynasty while the rest of us are bagging out of work to finish shopping. Also, if Fish does another post about religious conservatives, I’m pretty sure he’ll swallow his tongue. What we can all agree on, however, is that every single person in this gallery deserves our scorn and cynicism, so let’s get started on that. We’ve got Danica Patrick in the Go Daddy commercial that will be all the porn Alex Rodriguez will ever need for the rest of his life, Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall causing and out-of-body experience, and Matthew Perry taking the failure of yet another sitcom super well.

And by super well, I mean with pills. Pills and booze,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kelly Osbourne Double Chin Weight Gain Matthew Mosshart
    Chaz
    Commented on this photo:

    If Russel Brand and Katy Perry stayed together…

  2. Stephanie Seymour Son Peter Brandt II Boner Boy Velvet Jacket Designer Jeans
    the Janitor
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s funny, he came out of her, but I want to (edited) in her….

  3. Dakota Johnson Butt Tight Jeans Jamie Dornan Fifty Shades Of Grey Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope that guy’s ready for all the middle aged housewife poon he’s gonna get for playing this character.

  4. Kellan Lutz Eyes Closed On Cell Phone Behind The Wheel
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone looks full of regret.

  5. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alright, one chorus of ‘The Sun’ll Come Out Tomorrow’, then we’ll both have an apple.”

  6. Billy Ray Cyrus Onstage With Camp Freddy
    Commented on this photo:

    This poses quite the dilemma for me. I don’t like this guy, but if it wasn’t for him there’d be no Miley.

    Oh well. Thanks for Miley, now fuck off.

  7. Uma Thurman No Make Up Looking Tired
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ms Thurman, we’ve found Ethan Hawke. What are your orders?”
    “Kill him!”

  8. Kellan Lutz Eyes Closed On Cell Phone Behind The Wheel
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can’t believe you let that chipmunk on your dick.”

  9. Elisabetta Gregoraci Bikini
    The Janitor
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL! You’re deleting comments??

    Oh, and I’d stuff her stocking…..

  10. David Spade Checking Out Young Chick Walking By
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t that the girl with the weird name that had the nip slip a few weeks back? She had a weird name. Aeon Flux or something.

  11. Kelly Osbourne Double Chin Weight Gain Matthew Mosshart
    Commented on this photo:

    “…and that’s another reason that I love you so! My last boyfriend, Kermie, would never have volunteered to pick me up from the airport.”

  12. Kelly Osbourne Double Chin Weight Gain Matthew Mosshart
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s definitely putting the weight back on.

  13. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    Shouldn’t she be wearing a codpiece to hide that moose knuckle?

  14. Kellan Lutz Eyes Closed On Cell Phone Behind The Wheel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Kellan, why aren’t we moving?”
    “I just realized, this isn’t my car and I don’t know how’s to drive.”
    “What a moron!”

  15. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture made Phil Robertson cry. I hope you are all HAPPY NOW!!

  16. Bar Refaeli Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t want to say this picture proves Phil is right, but….. c’mon people!

  17. David Spade Checking Out Young Chick Walking By
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy is an enigma to me. He possesses nothing to make him appealing in any way. Yet here he is…

  18. Elisabetta Gregoraci Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Olivia Munn’s been hitting the gym hard.

  19. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    WHat do you know, Brooke Hogan does look better as a brunette.

  20. Kellan Lutz Eyes Closed On Cell Phone Behind The Wheel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Stop farting!”

  21. Hugh Jackman Swimming With Other Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Next week on “Duck Dynasty”, Papa Phil has to question his belief system when Wolverine stops by for a little Bayou “slap n’tickle”!

  22. Sylvester Stallone Sign Of The Cross Tonight Show Jay Leno
    Commented on this photo:

    “I agree with Phil….”

  23. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice of Julia Roberts to invite her over to her stable.

  24. Courtney Love Drunk High Onstage With Camp Freddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Now, I don’t want to say this picture proves Phil is WRONG, but… c’mon people!!

  25. Kris Humphries Boston Childrens Hospital Visit
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s such a badass. 12 scarves, and it isn’t even cold there!

  26. Gordon Ramsay Drunk Rose Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Sobriety is his Kitchen Nightmare.

  27. Courtney Love Drunk High Onstage With Camp Freddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only person who is REALLY, REALLY looking forward to the Rock & Roll hall of fame induction for Nirvana? After all, as Cobains widow and a musician herself, it will be a given that she WILL give a thankyou to the crowd. Can’t wait for it.

  28. Joe Jonas In Car With Other Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    “Next stop, West Monroe, Louisiana!”

  29. Gordon Ramsay Drunk Rose Club
    Commented on this photo:

    “Help! I’m meellllltinnnnggg…”

  30. Rihanna Midriff Knee High Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, yeah Phil, I am pretty damn happy. What’s your point?”

  31. David Spade Checking Out Young Chick Walking By
    Commented on this photo:

    Spade looks much better in heels than I thought he would.

  32. Dita Von Teese Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m surprised paparazzi got a picture of her entering my house. Somebody on my security team is fucking fired.

  33. Joe Jonas In Car With Other Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m sorry, your friend didn’t make it. He just wasn’t able to swim out of the submerged vehicle. By the way, where did you learn to hold your breath like that?”

  34. Sylvester Stallone Sign Of The Cross Tonight Show Jay Leno
    Commented on this photo:

    He is demonstrating how he got rid of Brigette Nielson.

  35. Kellan Lutz Eyes Closed On Cell Phone Behind The Wheel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wait – wait. The ‘Duck Dynasty’ guy said what? That’s hysterical. You guys have all seen my ass, right?”

  36. Matthew Perry Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    Keanu-Perry Syndrome, where partially bearded up has-beens mope around town staring aimlessly into the distance.

  37. Ali Larter Knee High Boots Wind Blowing Up Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    She has that, “Santa is irrefutably white,” look to her.

  38. Uma Thurman No Make Up Looking Tired
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, has makeup ever done more for one person?

  39. Stephanie Seymour Son Peter Brandt II Boner Boy Velvet Jacket Designer Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    His right hand is stuck in jerk off position.

  40. Kelly Rowland Cleavage Legs Hight Slit Dress The X Factor Season Three Finale
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck Beyonce. Give me Kelly.

  41. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bitch about not getting enough bikini pics NOW, motherfuckers.

    Love,
    Fish and Photo Boy”

  42. Kelly Osbourne Double Chin Weight Gain Matthew Mosshart
    Commented on this photo:

    Kathy Bates has really let herself go.

  43. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Margaret
    Commented on this photo:

    Brooke Shields is looking manlier than ever.

  44. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    lol hilarious, you know some dipshit is going to believe this is real

  45. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    disFUCKINGusting!!!!!!!

  46. Kelly Osbourne Double Chin Weight Gain Matthew Mosshart
    Commented on this photo:

    gawd damn she gained all her weight back

  47. Hugh Jackman Swimming With Other Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “Be vewwy, vewwy quiet. I’m hunting Wolvewines.”

  48. Dita Von Teese Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    FLATS?? SHE’S IN FLATS?? *puke*

  49. Hugh Jackman Swimming With Other Man
    Commented on this photo:

    logan look out- its topman!!

  50. Courtney Love Drunk High Onstage With Camp Freddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me those are shorts.

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