The Crap We Missed – Friday 12.20.13

December 20th, 2013 // 358 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you early because the Internet is consumed with nothing but Duck Dynasty while the rest of us are bagging out of work to finish shopping. Also, if Fish does another post about religious conservatives, I’m pretty sure he’ll swallow his tongue. What we can all agree on, however, is that every single person in this gallery deserves our scorn and cynicism, so let’s get started on that. We’ve got Danica Patrick in the Go Daddy commercial that will be all the porn Alex Rodriguez will ever need for the rest of his life, Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall causing and out-of-body experience, and Matthew Perry taking the failure of yet another sitcom super well.

And by super well, I mean with pills. Pills and booze,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    nasty surprise
    Commented on this photo:

    holy shit!

  2. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    Lady Hulk make Hulk happy.

  3. anonymous

    I guess there’s hope for those who still want a big-tittied, buffed-out Wonder Woman via CGI technology.

  4. David Spade Checking Out Young Chick Walking By
    Commented on this photo:

    Playing a little Buddy Whackett in his pocket.

  5. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, never thought she could get less attractive until now.

  6. Kris Humphries Boston Childrens Hospital Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like her big sis didn’t get all the crazy in the family. I’ll be seeing those eyes and that smile in my nightmares for the next month.

  7. David Spade Checking Out Young Chick Walking By
    Commented on this photo:

    is David Spade the one in drag or the one looking at the one in drag?

  8. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    The Jantior
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha! She got into a guy with a six pack! When usually the guy has to put a six pack….er….I mean, she drinks a six pack and the guy…..uhm……haha, she turns left for a living. You know what? I’m gonna rework this and get back to you….

  9. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s see…do I go with Sarah Jessica Parker, or a joke about British teeth. I’m going to mull this over and come back later.

  10. Stephanie Seymour Son Peter Brandt II Boner Boy Velvet Jacket Designer Jeans
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    He can wear tighter pants now because his mom isn’t nearby half naked.

  11. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me she’s wearing a muscle suit. Somebody? Anybody!

  12. Matthew Perry Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone believe he knows where he is?

  13. Kris Humphries Boston Childrens Hospital Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor kid, he told Make a Wish that he wanted to meet an NBA player, and they sent the dumb guy from the Twilight movies.

  14. David Spade Checking Out Young Chick Walking By
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is the dorky guy leering at David Spade?

  15. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    When your driving style picks a fight after every race you better bulk up.

  16. Kelly Osbourne Double Chin Weight Gain Matthew Mosshart
    Don Draper's Dad
    Commented on this photo:

    So. Kelly, are we going to Belgium? Euthanasia is legal there, so if we could stop in Antwerp I’d appreciate it.

  17. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Hugh Jazz
    Commented on this photo:

    She forgot her frontspiece.

  18. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    Melissa
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one is Camilla??

  19. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    The Janitor
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why no. I’ve never heard of the band Haim. So you play bass?”

    I so hate myself right now…..

  20. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    Eejut
    Commented on this photo:

    I will call you Sarah.

  21. Baron Hilton Paddleboarding Girlfriend Vanessa DuBasso Butt Bikini
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    No, I not falling for it again! The surfboard will not go faster if you spank my ass with a paddle.

  22. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere, Arnold Schwarzenegger is popping a boner.

  23. Jamie Lynn Spears Goofy Smile The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    All the looks and crazy of Brittney, without any of the talent…Oh wait, that could describe either of them!

  24. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Yesss, I can sense the fear in him. Tell the chef I want this one for dinner.

  25. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    bikerbob
    Commented on this photo:

    Boy that horse on the left needs a good grooming before the show

  26. Gordon Ramsay Drunk Rose Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does it look like he’s wearing a Klingon head piece?

  27. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall With Braying Horse London International Horse Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Just don’t let your husband drive while you’re visiting, Love.

  28. Sylvester Stallone Sign Of The Cross Tonight Show Jay Leno
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone must have just said the words “Rhinestone” and “Sequel”

  29. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Those early Terminators were easy to spot…

  30. Courtney Love Drunk High Onstage With Camp Freddy
    Commented on this photo:

    The stench just hit the guy in the front row.

  31. Sylvester Stallone Sign Of The Cross Tonight Show Jay Leno
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone must have just said the words “Close Up.”

  32. Jamie Lynn Spears Goofy Smile The Today Show
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    CUT! Her head slipped again. Somebody get more duct tape!

  33. Dakota Johnson Butt Tight Jeans Jamie Dornan Fifty Shades Of Grey Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks more like “50 Shades of Gay.”

  34. Kris Humphries Boston Childrens Hospital Visit
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    The kid doesn’t normally have to wear that tube–they’re just pumping scented air straight into his nose to cover up the fetid stench of Kardashian that still follows this guy around.

  35. Billy Ray Cyrus Onstage With Camp Freddy
    Commented on this photo:

    To make up for his daughter going on stage wearing practically nothing, Billy Ray Cyrus decided to go on stage wearing everything.”

  36. Bar Refaeli Lingerie Instagram
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    The first one to fall asleep at the supermodel slumber parties always gets her hair dunked in Kool-Aid. And then they have the naked pillow fight after…

  37. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Grubster
    Commented on this photo:

    people. people. its not her body. its only her face. its photoshopped. try not to be so dense. lol

  38. Matthew Perry Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess we know which one he’ll be in “The Odd Couple.”

  39. Billy Ray Cyrus Onstage With Camp Freddy
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Huh–I can’t decide if Steven Tyler looks better or worse than normal here….

  40. David Spade Checking Out Young Chick Walking By
    Commented on this photo:

    Thought balloon coming from both people: “You look fucking ridiculous!”

  41. Gordon Ramsay Drunk Rose Club
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes all Gordon wanted was a burger. But he knew he couldn’t… and he hated himself for it.

    • This comment confuses me. He has a restaurant called BurGr. He can have all the burgers he wants whenever he wants, and does. Am I missing something?

  42. Rihanna Midriff Knee High Boots
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “I will wear a leather trench coat, an elegant yet revealing blouse, a necklace worth more than most people’s houses, and a pair of frayed jorts I found in the dumpster!” said no one with any sense, ever.

  43. Billy Ray Cyrus Onstage With Camp Freddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, that’s a lot of scarves

  44. Andy Garcia Crazy Eyes
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Olivia Wilde in the background?

  45. Danica Patrick Muscle Suit Go Daddy Super Bowl Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is that?

  46. Sylvester Stallone Sign Of The Cross Tonight Show Jay Leno
    phantom duck
    Commented on this photo:

    “not sure what it meant, but everywhere I went the villagers kept giving me this sign… “

  47. Courtney Love Drunk High Onstage With Camp Freddy
    phantom duck
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Love, turning the front row into the cheap seats

  48. David Spade Checking Out Young Chick Walking By
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “The sagging jowls say ‘daughter of Ozzy Osborne,’ but the purple hair, spherical body, and neon green shoelaces say, ‘If I ever co-host a show focused on making fun of people’s appearances, someone should shoot me in the face.’”

  49. Kris Humphries Boston Childrens Hospital Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    Just needs a… couple… more… scarfs…

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