The Crap We Missed – Friday 12.16.11

December 16th, 2011 // 441 Comments

Blissfully unaware this was happening on Twitter, weren’t you? Now you’re not. Merry Christmas!

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you early today as Photo Boy and I duck out to prepare for holiday festivities which is not code for Batman and Robin costumes and pine-scented lube. That police report is a liar. In the meantime, enjoy today’s smattering of celebrity random that may or may not be 90% random British chicks with fake breasts.

I know you better than you know yourself,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Snooki Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Also known as “ewok chic.”

  2. Snarf

    Snarf Snarf!

  3. Billy Ray Cyrus Trenchcoat Hat Goatee
    Commented on this photo:

    So then I told Miley, “Don’t worry, go ahead and take off that bra for daddy! If I ever learned anything from a negro, it’s that black leather gloves can get me an acquittal!”

  4. Snooki Bikini Twitter
    Skeets
    Commented on this photo:

    Also known as “lost much weight, now fuckable” in ewokanese.

  5. Amanda Seyfried Mystery Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have to drive like this because, like a fish, my eyes are so far apart that I can only see out of the sides of my head.”

  6. Snooki Bikini Twitter
    HackSaw
    Commented on this photo:

    I hit it.

  7. Sandra Bullock
    Jon Hex
    Commented on this photo:

    Oooo, Jay, wha happened to mi chichis?!

  8. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor, Suri. Mama’s got her Scientology eyes. It’s gonna be another night meditating in the lava capsule.

  9. Snooki Bikini Twitter
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Sears still had photo studios!

  10. Rihanna Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, RuPaul looks good for 51!

  11. Billy Ray Cyrus Trenchcoat Hat Goatee
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Go-Go-Gadget-Fail!

  12. Amanda Seyfried Mystery Man
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude: “Okay, I’ll looked for that half-smoked roach, but just remember to keep ONE eye on the road, mmmkay?”

  13. Chloe Simms Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “So then I told the cosmetic dentist, ‘This bigger the better!’ You see, that philosophy has really gotten me far in life. I even have it tattooed on my lower back.”

  14. ktulu

    Her body is both sickening and strangely arousing…like putting a nice pair or tits on a manatee or something. Regardless I would fuck her till she blacked out and then some more.

    • bored shitless

      Thanks for sharing….not

    • shankyouverymuch

      You know I think she’s made a real effort- She’s obviously lost a lot of weight, at least in this pic she looks like she has, & over all even her face looks quite acceptable.

      So YES I will agree – I too would have relations with her & I think I would even take to the next level, the ANAL level…. Ooooooh!

  15. Snooki Bikini Twitter
    Jon Hex
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope they have a penicillin dispenser in restroom, because I’d drunkenly tap it.

  16. Rose McGowan Tight Face Plastic Surgery
    Sad
    Commented on this photo:

    Sad… just sad… (shudders)

    • karlito

      she’s definitely had plastic surgery and they screwed up. now she looks like Latoya Jackson…that’s sad!!

      • Trek Girl

        Rose was in a car accident in 2007 wherein she sustained severe injuries caused by her sunglasses being driven into her face. The sunglasses sliced her under one of her eyes. She discovered she was injured only after puttiing her hand to her face, feeling that there was a flap of skin. A plastic surgeon was necessary.

        This is why she looks so different.

      • Colin

        Yeah… but they still screwed up.

      • Nahnono

        The surgery she had in 2008 was totally different – she got her eye fixed but also had a bit of a refresher because she looked way hot afterwards, it was really good plastic surgery. Obviously she’s gone in for a tune-up and failed – if you look closely it’s mostly her mouth area that really fucks up her face.

    • Drew

      Nah Colin, you’re just an idiot that doesn’t understand the power of makeup.

      • Quijibo

        Ok, but what is her mouths excuse?

      • sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.sssssssssss

        her mouth makes that shape when she sees her flap-sewn eyes

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Poor Rose. I recoiled just from looking at the thumbnail.

  17. Amy Childs Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Oopsie. It looks like she’s revealing a little too much shirt.

  18. Rose McGowan Tight Face Plastic Surgery
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this is what a life-sized teddy bear would look like if it decided to get a sex change.

  19. Billy Ray Cyrus Trenchcoat Hat Goatee
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof that you can dress up a hillbilly, but you still can’t take him out.

  20. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    “Opposite Day! I’ll play with the puppy and you drink Mommy’s gimlet!”

  21. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Suri: Oh, Mommy ALWAYS looks like that when she gets an incoming transmission from Xenu. Isn’t that right, Mommy? *sluurp!*
    Katie: Gaaaahhh!

  22. Rose McGowan Tight Face Plastic Surgery
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Quack!

  23. Sandra Bullock
    Commented on this photo:

    She has “old woman” neck just like Demi

    • Jess

      really?? I bet you’re a real catch

      • Johnny P!

        Aw, Bless, Jess.
        Someone else who was re-directed to this site by mistake.
        May I suggest People.com, or even the Duggar’s site as something more to your sensibilities? I hear they have lovely pictures there.
        In the meantime, you could always hide yours with scarves, “fancy foulards”, pashminas, turtlenecks and even a cowl-neck (or two).
        Hope your journey to the acceptance of your “old woman” neck is a swift and relatively painless one.
        Again, Bless.

      • Dali

        let me guess…. gay?

      • Steelerchick

        And another real catch

  24. Jenny McCarthy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Dr. Wakefield!! I’ve got those naked pictures of Evan that you asked for in my purse!”

  25. Rose McGowan Tight Face Plastic Surgery
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Overcast, early morning light can be sooo unflattering…

  26. Amy Childs Cleavage
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    What Not to Look Like–Wednesdays next Spring!

  27. serfin' ceorl

    It’s hypertiger!

  28. Charlize Theron See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    See, even the most beautiful of linebackers can pull off the one-shoulder look when done correctly.

  29. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini See Through Cover Up
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Walk of Shame

  30. Sandra Bullock
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, looks like she’s got the ‘Extremely Loud’ role in that movie.

  31. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini See Through Cover Up
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like an intergalactic 30 year old version of Shauna Sand.

  32. Amanda Seyfried Mystery Man
    NigelBen
    Commented on this photo:

    “You’re right from this angleit does look like its smilling”

  33. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini See Through Cover Up
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    “Gotta pull the dress down… I’d hate to ‘flash’ anything!”

  34. Snooki Bikini Twitter
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    How very ……colorful. Very much in the spirit of the holiday season. She’s like a demented treetop ornament.

  35. Matthew Broderick Tuxedo
    bored shitless
    Commented on this photo:

    Unkempt, ill-fitting tux, awkward pose…way to put the gay in gala, Matt

  36. Rihanna Butt Bikini
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn I’d love to squirt in that!

  37. Chloe Simms Cleavage
    Drew
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice gunt.

  38. Billy Ray Cyrus Trenchcoat Hat Goatee
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sure I’ll do the photo shoot shirtless. When does Miley get here?”

  39. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini See Through Cover Up
    Jagger
    Commented on this photo:

    I picked up those same glasses from Home Depot for 4.99.

  40. Matthew Broderick Tuxedo
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the look of a man praying for the sweet release of death.

  41. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    “As soon as he’s out of sight, we run like hell honey. Remember, your new name is Rebecca.”

  42. Amy Childs Cleavage
    bored shitless
    Commented on this photo:

    They need to change the name of the magazine to “Skank” now

  43. Rose McGowan Tight Face Plastic Surgery
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    “wait ’til they get a load ‘a me”

  44. Maria Shriver No Make Up Wrinked Face
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t blame Arnold. I imagine her entire vag feels like a cat tongue.

  45. Jenny McCarthy
    Commented on this photo:

    Counting the days when her looks will faid so we won’t have to see anymore of her dumb gunt.

  46. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini See Through Cover Up
    bored shitless
    Commented on this photo:

    Good thing the stripes are there or else we’d see her junk hanging down

  47. Rihanna Butt Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She knows how to sell her crappy pop songs.

  48. meh

    Revenge of the Ewoks!

  49. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini See Through Cover Up
    Commented on this photo:

    At least put “Spoiler alert” up if you’re going to post the winners of RuPauls Drag race. Now what the fuck am I watching on Netflix this weekend?

  50. Matthew Broderick Tuxedo
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually that’s the look of a man who’s had to steer a horse-drawn carriage for a good part of his life…

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