Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where we faced the truly difficult decision between Beckham’s Travolta Defense Training or his impromptu lapse into a dream about kittens playfighting on marshmallow clouds. And like anyone with a completely ridiculous occupation could tell you is protocol, we went ahead and did whatever the fuck we wanted to. So you got both. In addition to double-Becks (Dont worry, alcohol will make me forget I ever typed that.) we’ve also got The 40 Year Old Virgin (Who Is Also Into Blow), Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (Who Is Also Into Blow), and Ke$ha (Who Doesn’t Closely Resemble A Movie Poster I Can Remember But Is Most Certainly Into Blow).
Hope your weekend doesn’t… suck — Wait, I screwed that up didn’t I?
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Yer hired.
And yet … (just kidding).
It’s a funny world we live in. Speaking of funny, do you know how I got these scars?
Shit! Behind her… it’s Fanny McFamefan the Fowler Follower
Mom?
Ke$ha is basically Debbie Gibson’s mother who lives in a rusted out dumpster with pigeon feathers in her weave, sing-talks through all her songs, and sh*ts glitter.
She shits glitter? That would be awesome! But probably tough on the digestive tract.
I guess she asked the plastic surgeon to make her uglier? The skanky is natural tho.
Well, now I know what Cruise saw in her.
that’s a mouth that does NOT know what to do with a dick. guaranteed.
The Playboy Instagram thing broke the budget this week, didn’t it? :)
Skidanova the road? Skidanova the skid marks? Enquiring minds want to know.
She’s lovely and she makes me think dirty thoughts.
“Where the hell did you find Jodi Foster’s Beaver? I thought that I buried that thing…”
Jim Morrison remains the only man ever to look good in leather pants.
derp
bandage dress! = Whore!
The Assassins Creed movie looks like its gonna suck.
Score, that homeless guy got some leather pants!
is that dress made out of a garbage bag? you know, the lawn & garden ones.
Is it just me, or does it seriously look like they’re related? Its like a father-son moment.
Plump people should always garb themselves in outerwear that makes them resemble a large stack of truck tires.
The thetan-level is strong in this one.
she looks great. from the waist down.
She had to Vaseline her entire lower body to get those jeans on. Well done indeed.
“Sup, Mel? Let’s have a nosh!”
“. . .”
“Shit.”
I know it probably cost more than my mortgage this month, but that is one ugly swimsuit.
I knew Moby was behind this abomination.
The CWM is crammed full of unknown bimbos today.
Today?!
“Then Tom would make me spit it back into his mouth like this…called it a snowball.”
Aaron, buddy, next time you’re in Lenscrafters, maybe you shouldn’t shop in the kid’s department.
He’s clearly obsessed with Harry Potter.
Sudden Onset Craniomegaly is a real problem.
Omar comin’!
Who the hell is she? I mean, seriously…
Holy shit, it looks like someone backed a tow truck into that face.
“Tara, I’m your accountant. Stop acting like we’re fucking every time we’re spotted in public.”
Who the hell is she? I mean, seriously…. Once again.
Who is this beauty?
It’s like looking at the back of Lindsey Lohan, but without the freckles, needle-marks and scars.
“Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s sloppy blowjob in my limo?”
She’s just getting by on her looks.
Stop looking! We’ve found the perfect actress to play Lindsay Lohan in the inevitable Lifetime biopic. She’s not an actress you say? Well, neither is Lindsay…
He’s trying to crack a walnut.
Whatever, fuck off.
I love the guy. Way more interesting than Katy Perry. I mean, he’s clutching GRAPES for crissake. Grapes!
As opposed to the grapefruits he was clutching when he was married to Katy.
That seriously made me lol.
I am so embarrassed..the walnut did in fact shoot up my ass.
“Rebecca Black! What have you been up to since Friday?!”
Who the hell is she…. oh, never mind.
Not seen, guy with small fan.
Why does the guy look so smug? He got the call-girl equivalent of a blue-light special.
Am I the only person who can’t get over what a dickhead this guy is? I think we should stick Kanye and Chris Brown in a Russian rocket and send it to the space station. And miss. So that they end up in a galaxy far far away. Soon.
Not the only one. Throw their equally desperate GFs, as well as DbagDisick, onto that rocket too. And make it a North Korean rocket.
add time release Ebola virus and a good , high def camera with microwave video link so we can watch
If she gave you a blowjob, your dick would end up in the Mirror Universe from Star Trek.