Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where we faced the truly difficult decision between Beckham’s Travolta Defense Training or his impromptu lapse into a dream about kittens playfighting on marshmallow clouds. And like anyone with a completely ridiculous occupation could tell you is protocol, we went ahead and did whatever the fuck we wanted to. So you got both. In addition to double-Becks (Dont worry, alcohol will make me forget I ever typed that.) we’ve also got The 40 Year Old Virgin (Who Is Also Into Blow), Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (Who Is Also Into Blow), and Ke$ha (Who Doesn’t Closely Resemble A Movie Poster I Can Remember But Is Most Certainly Into Blow).
Hope your weekend doesn’t… suck — Wait, I screwed that up didn’t I?
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!”
You’ll shoot your eye out, Sorkin.
Black Michelin Man.
Goddamit. I was gonna say the same thing and then I thought I’d better check first. Nicely done.
“So let me get this straight: $1 mill for the blackie and I can do whatever I want with it?…”
Criss Angel attempts his newest trick, turning grapes into raisins, and then selling the raisins for drugs.
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/30/terminator1-226_263.jpg[/img]
“Hey! Who’s getting a McRib today? This guy right here”
That’s nice, that the kind young man from Rushmore took Tara out for dinner.
And got Super-AIDS.
Oddly, this is the most normal I’ve seen him dressed in quite some time.
She must squat well over 500 lbs.
Who’s this busty chipmunk ?
After looking her up, she’s a sontgwriter for JoJo and Ashley Tisdale. Figures.
Did the person who sent her not realize it isn’t a penal colony anymore?
If she has written songs for those two, it is clear she is capable of deep thought.
Odd time to use the zoom feature but why the heck not…
Guaranteed at least 90% do now ;-) I did.
yuck. does she smoke? and is that a herpes sore under her nose?
YUCK.
Xenu herpes.
“…one posh leg on this side… another posh leg on this side… zigga zig ahhhhhh…”
I think I’m in love.
i wouldn’t even put my dick in that mouth…
just close your eyes!
Lea told me she could sing, and I could see her point.
Yup, that’s about how I would expect Plague of the Four Horsemen to look, on a good day.
Fish, you bugger… Forest Whitaker is awesome. You owe him an apology.
And if he doesn’t get one, he’s going to bust out his sniper rifle. Fish, you’ll never see it coming. Well…that’s not true. You’ll watch a cartoon that foreshadows your demise—and then you’ll be killed.
Picture taken moments after an anchor from E! just said:
“Hey Kirsten, over here!”
What the f*** is that??
“Massage your grapes?”
Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to Death,
Any possible fashion cliché? He’s covered!
That’s not juice, that’s pus.
NO MORE JARED LETO, FISH.
O, will you eat no grapes, my royal fox?
whatever.
Is that a shrimp net?
This is the best I’ve ever seen her look. The key is 20% more sideboob and 90% less sidenose.
“After she’s done blowing you, let’s burn her house down!”
“I can still tend the rabbits, George? I didn’t mean no harm, George”
Downie: “Stick it in.”
Gibson: “IIIIIII don’t know… what if I get some extraterrestrial disease?”
Downie: “Just stick in in.”
Gibson: “The fucking thing is half dead already… maybe it can’t breathe oxygen.”
Downie: “THAT is why you fuck it now… It can’t fight back!”
Gibson: “I just… don’t… know… it looks kinda Jewy.”
Invisible penis strikes again!
ah here’s my daily dose of asshattery and tomfuckery.
Crisco’s a helluva drug
That does it. I’m having a shrimp cocktail when I get home.
I learned a funny word the other day… “bellend”.
hahahahahaha
After seeing Ke$ha 2 pics back, GaGa’s particular brand of ugly seems merciful.
Gaga went a little overkill on he mammary protection here. She would have been safe from the adoring masses with three inches of electrical tape.
of course! A sweatshirt and a fur coat in hopes the leather pants that don’t fit will go unnoticed. I couldn’t hate this ass any fucking more.
More than me? Hmmm, we’ll see about that.
By God, she is one unattractive woman.
ew.
Fuck that. I’d still do her in a second. And for a second, but that’s a personal problem.
So he put on a coupl’a pounds… that’s his prerogative.
Kim K’s leather pants sure do get a lot of press.
Really? Those pants don’t look pressed to me.
Looks like he ate the whole bag of shrooms…
I know who’s not humping around. This guy.
In 9 months, Bobbi Kristina is going to have a new sibling to get engaged to down the road.
Oops. I think I gave Kanye a dollar outside a subway stop yesterday.
“Talk about my acting qualifications? Uh sure… HEY a phone call just came in – gotta take it!”
It might be a little on the flat side, but it’s still pretty stellar. It’s not even in the same universe as that pile of fat on Kardashian.
I keep an engagement ring in my pocket at all times in case I run into her in NY.
Isn’t she married?