The Crap We Missed – Friday 11.18.11

November 18th, 2011 // 528 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Reese Witherspoon trying to intimidate me into thinking she wasn’t pregnant all those times I said she was (NEVER.), Anna Paquin on a boat, the carrot formerly known as Paz de la Huerta and, wait, we already did a Selena Gomez wax statue post. Goddammit, Photo Boy.

Sloppy, just sloppy,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame, Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Regis Philbin David Letterman Vespa
    Johnny Cochran's Tumor
    Commented on this photo:

    …On their way to a Lemon party!

  2. Jon Hamm Scarf
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeezus…is he just out of bed from a bad case of flu?

  3. Chloe Simms Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one fucked up sexy marching band.

  4. Paz De La Huerta
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I need help. She has skin like John Boehner and I’m still attracted to her.

  5. Lake Bell Cleavage
    Johnny Cochran's Tumor
    Commented on this photo:

    Ms. Bell meet Mr. Ding-Dong.

  6. Paz De La Huerta
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Face de laHurtya appears in an HBO series. That’s all she needs to appear in, thanks.

  7. Reese Witherspoon
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes the paparazzi shoots Reese…sometimes she shoots them…yeeeaaaaahhhhh!

  8. Sofia Vergara Cleavage
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Shoes?

  9. Anna Paquin Halter Top
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she going to bare her sad little titties all through this show too?

  10. Regis Philbin David Letterman Vespa
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Seniors and their “support hose”.
    Bless.

  11. Samantha Ronson Holding Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    “Someone smells stinky! oh, it’s me…”

  12. Reese Witherspoon
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Looks like this wood”—puts on sunglasses—”didn’t float.”

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

  13. Donatella Versace
    Johnny Cochran's Tumor
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Robert Davi have a sex change operation?

  14. Paula Patton Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, the rare inside-sideboob. You don’t often see these in the wild.

  15. Regis Philbin David Letterman Vespa
    Tina
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a scene from dumb and dumber

  16. Usher Bowtie Pencils Of Promise
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    Usher might be dyslexic. When he read the invitation he completely missed the letters C and L in “pencils.”

  17. Reese Witherspoon
    Commented on this photo:

    Now you’ve done it, looks like she’s gonna chin whip some poor fool unconscious.

  18. Paz De La Huerta
    Commented on this photo:

    You’d be sad too if your face was melting.

  19. Kim Cattrall Cleavage
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m in the process of watching the entire “Sex in the City” series for the first time. Kim Catrall does NOT look like this in any of the episodes.
    Why doesn’t Sarah Jessica Parker ever reveal her tits on that show? Something wrong with them? Too good for her while her costars let it all hang out?

    • TomFrank

      Well, what you’re watching started over 13 years ago. And it’s my understanding that SJP had a no-nudity clause.

    • cc

      ‘I’m in the process of watching the entire “Sex in the City” series for the first time’

      You are watching the entire series? Voluntarily?

      • Richard McBeef

        +1 MFS

      • Cock Dr

        There are some laughs….and some fabulous shoes.
        It’s dark here at 5:00PM…. strange things will get thrown into the NetFlix queue over the next couple months.

      • MJB

        She was a producer on “Sex and the City” (the show & films) and the show’s creator pushed for her to be on the show. So she doesn’t need to show her stuff.
        And if you take into consideration it’s supposed to be all a fantasy, it’s a funny show.

    • There are easier ways to confirm you’re gay.

    • BE

      Where have you been for the last decade? On the moon?

      SJP refused to bare anything. All four actresses had no hair and wardrobe control so SJP would wear her bra regardless of what they made her wear – that’s how the practice of just showing your bra under anything and everything started – a lot of women worshiped this series. Sad, because in real life the four of them would have died from AIDS, been raped, murdered or jailed.

      If you choose to watch the movies, I feel obligated to warn you NOT to watch SATC-2 – seriously, that’s two plus hours of my life I’ll NEVER get back and wish I could. Calling it idiotic is a kindness. And I have to add that one can tell that the foursome knew it was a dog and couldn’t hide it in their acting. It also semed like they were trying to make Catrall look hideous.
      As for Catrall, embracing the stereotype of her Samantha role – doesn’t appear to be working that well for her. This is just another photo of her where’s she’s smiling but still looks sad…

      • Cock Dr

        1st – We haven’t been under a big rock; we don’t have cable. We just aren’t that interested in “TV”. The internet is the thing in my household.
        2nd – I did it all wrong RE: watching the series. I watched the movies first when they were released on DVD.
        The shows have their moments if you can and WANT to buy into the fantasy NY NY lifestyle; am about to finish up the final season and then I’ll watch the 1st movie again. Yes, that 2nd movie was big budget dreadful.
        IMO all four of the lady leads are excellent comedic actresses. The woman up above has made me LOL a lot over the last couple weeks.

  20. Reese Witherspoon
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Reese’s version of the opening paragraph of The Three Little Pigs:

    The first little pig built his house out of straw because it was the easiest thing to do.

    The second little pig built his house out of sticks. This was a little bit stronger than a straw house.

    The third little pig built his house out of bricks.

    One night the big bad wolf, who dearly loved to eat fat little piggies, came along and saw the first little pig in his house of straw. He said “Let me in, Let me in, little pig or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in!”

    “Not by the hair of my chinny chinny chinny chin chin chin”, said the little pig.

  21. Kim Cattrall Cleavage
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    Young and lovely as ever…

  22. Lake Bell Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    What kind of health insurance covers new boobs, but not dental? OBAMA!!!!

  23. Luke Wilson Fat Face
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    You can throw all the film roles and buckets of money at the Wilson brothers, but I still got a feeling Uncle-Daddy and Sister-Momma shouldn’t have birthed ‘em.

  24. Samantha Ronson Holding Baby
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there a name for this look, other than ‘shit’.

  25. Donatella Versace
    Commented on this photo:

    Mick? Mick Jagger, is that really you?

  26. Paula Patton Side Boob
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That ponytail is ideally located…

  27. Donatella Versace
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly Andy Cunanan whacked the wrong Versace.

  28. Regis Philbin David Letterman Vespa
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “C’mon, let’s get you back to The 21 Club before they notice one of their lawn jockeys is missing.”

  29. Lake Bell Cleavage
    shawnb89
    Commented on this photo:

    GQ Man of the Year? Did she win?

  30. AnnaLynne McCord
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this supposed to be a good look? Misses by a mile.

  31. Paz De La Huerta
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Y&J Multiplicity by Robert Verdi Jewelry Collection’
    Slogan: If you want to look like a busted celebrity.

  32. Fran Drescher Lollipop
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why do people always insist on giving me things to stick in my mouth? I just don’t get it! Why, just the other day I—mrpphh!mumbmumb-snrk-gbrt…”

  33. Chloe Simms Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I have to laugh.

  34. Luke Wilson Fat Face
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Bet he didn’t wash his hands either…

  35. Lake Bell Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, who is this and why should I…forget that, I see why I should care, but who is this?

  36. Chloe Simms Cleavage
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s wearing a “novelty t-shirt” under that dress, right? Right?

  37. Kendra Wilkinson Cleavage
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    Unless this is the opening shot in a new DP video I ain’t interested.

  38. Jon Hamm Scarf
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    You know how I know you’re not gay, Jon Hamm? Because you wore that scarf with that suit.

  39. anon

    Calling it quits at 3 pm?

  40. Donatella Versace
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Why oh WHY did Iggy Pop get hair extensions???
    They just age him, man!

  41. Lake Bell Cleavage
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, this is unfortunate, I’ve seen her photograph much bett…*scrolls down*…oh, um, did I say unfortunate? Never mind.

  42. Kendra Wilkinson Cleavage
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay Kendra here’s a tip, you know you’ve shot your face too full of Botox when even your butthole loses it’s wrinkles.

  43. Samantha Ronson Holding Baby
    DontMindMe_sf
    Commented on this photo:

    It wants its precious!

  44. Usher Bowtie Pencils Of Promise
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “It was three years ago that I first met a very talented young man named Justin Bieber. And that’s when I was introduced to Pencils of Promise.”

  45. Jon Hamm Scarf
    DontMindMe_sf
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, who said that?!? My scarf is metro, ok, not gay!

  46. Lake Bell Cleavage
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice palm warmers.

  47. Kendra Wilkinson Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet she smells like bacon-flavored lube.

  48. Sarah Silverman Cleavage Tights
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    I like her, but I can’t stop myself from thinking that at this GQ Men of the Year party, she was the consolation prize for the runners-up.

  49. Donatella Versace
    Commented on this photo:

    White Chicks II has started shooting.

  50. Donatella Versace
    Commented on this photo:

    This is weird, but when I looked at her face, the phrase “Fatty Liver” came to mind.

    If I ever see her in person, I’m going to call her Fatty Liver.

    • Johnny P!

      Too funny!
      “Hello, Fatty Liver!”
      Actually, you need to learn how to say it in Italian, otherwise she won’t understand, think you said something sweet, and will come over to give you a hug and a big kiss.
      YOIKS!!!

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