The Crap We Missed – Friday 11.16.12

November 16th, 2012 // 604 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that could actually serve as a helpful Hollywood-How-To Guide, which is in no way a mildly clever conceit to couch these wild assumptions about what’s really going on in these photos:

1. How to get Jared Leto to agree to a role for no salary.
2. How to effectively utilize Kaley Cuoco to secure a Jon Hamm cameo for The Big Bang Theory.
3. How to reboot the front row experience of a Gallagher show, except instead of showering them with fruit chunks, you murder them.
4. How to bring down a passenger jet with nothing but a case of rum and butt sex.
5. How to make a game show out of revealing the number of revenge blow jobs Robert Pattinson got from Taylor Lautner. Yesterday.

How to make you all think Rita Rusic is your Final Five, then toss you a curveball that will still bang you if you hit its face until it bleeds — I AM MAKE INTERNETS GO!!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Roger Moore Christina Tholstrup Gut Aiderbichl Christmas Market Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    From The Man WIth The Golden Gun to The Man With The Tar-Stained Teeth.

  2. Prince Charles Dancing Dance-O-Mat
    Dr. Cocksider
    Commented on this photo:

    The Royal Ronald McDonald.

  3. Roger Moore Christina Tholstrup Gut Aiderbichl Christmas Market Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    Edit: Roger Moore, Christina Tholstrup, and Sarah Jessica Parker at the opening of the Gut Aiderbichl Christmas Market in Henndorf, Austria. (November 15, 2012)

  4. Tyra Banks Crazy Eyes Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    “Crazy in da hooooouse!”

  5. Jonathan Rhys Meyers Belle Du Seigneur
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks dead inside

  6. Rihanna Cockpit Flight 777
    Commented on this photo:

    Rihanna showing us the direction her career is heading.

  7. Laura Dern American Cinematheque 26th Annual Award Presentation To Ben Stiller
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, what am I supposed to do? You won’t answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I’m not gonna be ignored, Dan!”

  8. Paul Rudd Shirtless Under Jacked Ed Asner Birthday Cake Grace Curtain Call Broadway
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “This isn’t big enough for a stripper to pop out of. Grumble grumble.”

  9. Rihanna Cockpit Flight 777
    Mr. Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d imagine her favorite place in the world is a “Cockpit”

  10. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    Commented on this photo:

    The first rule of the Cross Dressers Club is you never do it in public. For obvious reasons…

  11. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus. What a fucking wreck.

  12. Natalie Cole Cleavage XIII Annual Latin Grammys
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Instead of paying Jared Leto to dress in drag, they should’ve just hired this thing.

  13. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Mr. Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    her right knee is dead

  14. Paul Rudd Shirtless Under Jacked Ed Asner Birthday Cake Grace Curtain Call Broadway
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s up with the man sweater Paul Rudd?

  15. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    Dr. Cocksider
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not the set, is in the house with normal clothes…

  16. Mayra Veronica Cleavage XIII Annual Latin Grammys
    Commented on this photo:

    Mi gusta.

  17. Rita Rusic Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Well played PB, well played.

  18. Paul Rudd Shirtless Under Jacked Ed Asner Birthday Cake Grace Curtain Call Broadway
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa! Paul… keep those candles away from your chest.

  19. Dakota Fanning The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2 New York Screening
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    “I must kill … the Queen … I must kill … the Queen …”

  20. Paul Rudd Shirtless Under Jacked Ed Asner Birthday Cake Grace Curtain Call Broadway
    Dr. Cocksider
    Commented on this photo:

    Remake of Smell Like Teen Spirit video??

  21. Jonathan Rhys Meyers Belle Du Seigneur
    Commented on this photo:

    Prince looks flattered to be there.

  22. Sylvester Stallone Rocky Das Musical
    Commented on this photo:

    “Seriously, look. It’s like modeling clay. That fingerprint will be in my cheek all day.”

  23. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait. Wasn’t she fat just last week?

  24. Daryl Hannah Gut Aiderbichl Christmas Market Opening
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Daryl Hannah photo-bombing this picture of a lovely cow.

  25. Jonathan Rhys Meyers Belle Du Seigneur
    Commented on this photo:

    “Heroin? For me? You shouldn’t have!”

  26. Jonathan Rhys Meyers Belle Du Seigneur
    Dr. Cocksider
    Commented on this photo:

    Prince never looks so white…

  27. Karent Sierra Cleavage XIII Annual Latin Grammys
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    big….luscious…tis

  28. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Taylor Lautner El Hormiguero
    Commented on this photo:

    #27: Number of times Kristen swallowed the director’s load on the set of Snow White.

  29. Tyra Banks Crazy Eyes Tight Dress
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    The Original MOOOOOOO!!!!!

  30. Karent Sierra Cleavage XIII Annual Latin Grammys
    Commented on this photo:

    Honestly, why are the Latin Grammys not as big as the superbowl?

  31. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Taylor Lautner El Hormiguero
    Commented on this photo:

    Man they must be having a good time. Look at all three of them getting all emotional.

  32. Natalie Cole Cleavage XIII Annual Latin Grammys
    Commented on this photo:

    Got coke?

  33. Sylvester Stallone Rocky Das Musical
    Commented on this photo:

    Rocky the Musical? WTF is wrong with Germany?

  34. Laura Dern American Cinematheque 26th Annual Award Presentation To Ben Stiller
    Commented on this photo:

    Her dad looks better than she does.

  35. Alicia Sullivan Cleavage 22nd Annual LA Music Awards
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Tramp Rageous!

  36. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    So, she’s officially out of ideas.

  37. Sylvester Stallone Rocky Das Musical
    Commented on this photo:

    “The closest Jennifer will let it get is right here. Brigitte didn’t mind the mouth, but hey… whaddaya do?”

  38. Prince Charles Dancing Dance-O-Mat
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, mummy’s not looking like she’s ever dying, I’ll never be king, so may as well make an ass of myself with the colonists so I can leave at least something for William… Come on, Camilla! Join in! This is lovely fun!”

  39. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Here we fucking go again

  40. Karent Sierra Cleavage XIII Annual Latin Grammys
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who you are… but I like you already.

  41. Laura Dern American Cinematheque 26th Annual Award Presentation To Ben Stiller
    Commented on this photo:

    Switch the “n” in her name with a “p”, and we have it.

  42. Bill Clinton Kevin Spacey
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Bill’s off to “interview an intern”, and Kevin’s off to “walk his dogs in the park”.

  43. Karent Sierra Cleavage XIII Annual Latin Grammys
    Commented on this photo:

    The Latin Grammys are awesome…..So many hot landscapers.

  44. Dita Von Teese Cleavage
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish my high school librarian looked like that…

  45. Kaley Cuoco People's Choice Awards 2013 Nominations Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s gotta be a Kardashian.

  46. Rihanna Cockpit Flight 777
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh phew, the plane’s on the ground. Everyone’s relatively safe then.

  47. Roger Moore Christina Tholstrup Gut Aiderbichl Christmas Market Opening
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Roger Moore and an old nag get photobombed by a horse!

  48. Rihanna Cleavage Midriff Leather Bra
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus… I mean, I’d bang her and all… but this chick just doesn’t justify all the press (here and elsewhere) that she gets.

  49. Kaley Cuoco People's Choice Awards 2013 Nominations Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    “And as you… GAK… can see… GAK… this is… GAK… the easiest… GAK… way… GAK… to get on… GAK… a hit… GAK… TV show!”

  50. Tyra Banks Crazy Eyes Tight Dress
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Such forced sanity.

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