Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that could actually serve as a helpful Hollywood-How-To Guide, which is in no way a mildly clever conceit to couch these wild assumptions about what’s really going on in these photos:
1. How to get Jared Leto to agree to a role for no salary.
2. How to effectively utilize Kaley Cuoco to secure a Jon Hamm cameo for The Big Bang Theory.
3. How to reboot the front row experience of a Gallagher show, except instead of showering them with fruit chunks, you murder them.
4. How to bring down a passenger jet with nothing but a case of rum and butt sex.
5. How to make a game show out of revealing the number of revenge blow jobs Robert Pattinson got from Taylor Lautner. Yesterday.
How to make you all think Rita Rusic is your Final Five, then toss you a curveball that will still bang you if you hit its face until it bleeds — I AM MAKE INTERNETS GO!!
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
…in every picture, there’s an Observer, saying it all with his shaved eyebrows…
looks great here
so would.
Ginger fan feels cheated: “There’s just a void…”
BYOL (bring your own livestock).
Why is “Trading Places” Jamie Lee Curtis here?
NAILED IT.
Looks more masculine than usual.
Asymmetrical boob jobs are SO fashion forward!
“Look, alls I’m saying is that I have a sweet ’89 Cutlass Supreme and you should make things even with that guy…”
LOL!
KStew, when she finally starts eating something other than cock.
With planking dying a quick death, Rajiv tries desperately to start his own new trend… phon-o-bombing.
She left the Marine Corp Ball to hang out with Darryl Hannah?
I barely recognized her without the Photoshop.
does she ever not look vacant?
Nope, that’s kind of her “thing”.
No.
‘sup yo
“What have you got for me this time, Q? . . . Oh dear god. Perhaps you should delete those pictures, right quick.”
Poor Kristen. This is basically exactly like rape or something.
Well hello! I will be Googling you now!
The first officer is a baller yo.
Back at ya, Sly.
And this is how you get a yeast infection.
Never knew cakes can get yeast infections…
That’s right, Tyson. I got 5000 points. My fingers are faster than your fists.
Beef Strokenoff?
Probably having a drink and talking about all the chicks they’ve railed.
Of all the things I never expected to hear Mike Tyson doing, “speaking tour” is right up there.
Fish is right, Hamm could skullfuck her from Pittsburgh….
Kaley, can I insert my Cuocock here?
Now she’s stuck wearing tops that cover up that ridiculous tattoo she got.
Worst Gangnam Style ever.
That microphone is going all the way down in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .
“Quick! Somebody spin me! I’m such a beautiful ballerina!”
Him: “I’m fucking Jennifer Aniston!”
Her: “How long do I have to put up with this asshole? Why did I settle for this guy?”
Does she own clothes?
You are a nasty, nasty man, Deacon Jones.
“Indeed, I feel pretty. Oh so very pretty.”
She looks like she’s trying to fart discreetly
Who’s photobombing who here ?
Edit: Kim Kardashian and Daryl Hannah at the opening of the Gut Aiderbichl Christmas Market in Henndorf, Austria. (November 15, 2012)
Look at Clinton’s face, and Spacey’s smile. Best… blow job… ever.
LOLOLOLOL!!
I’ve always contented that airplanes are basically flying steel tubes of communicable disease, but this one really takes the cake.
Hey, we’ve all been there
Aw Fish. Really?
Black version of Overly Attached Girlfriend.
Would bang the stupid out of her show.
You wouldn’t survive the attempt… you’re only one man.
I’ll help!
I’ll work the camcorder.
Ha! You know what show she’s on! I had to look her up.
“And the answer to the question. ‘How many dicks did Kristen suck while you dater her?’ is…”
Um, dated.
Taylor: “WOW!! Same number as me!!”
The signal of Rihanna is of plane crash…
Isn’t being able to talk a requirement to go on a speaking tour?
Just be grateful it isn’t a singing tour.
He’s not really speaking. He’s just lip-syncing the words.
Tyson Vanilli?
i have no comment
I see Happy and Grumpy but where are the other five?
When is Marlee Matlin doing her speaking tour?
I would pay to see that!
Entertaining movie. Naomie Harris is hot.
Spacey is leaving something in his wake that the other attendees are clearly aware of. He is amused, nonetheless.