The Crap We Missed – Friday 10.7.11

October 7th, 2011 // 614 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring me talking about absolutely none of the photos in it because, on a serious note, huge thanks to Photo Boy for filling in while I dealt with some family shit. He earned his vacation next week, so you folks are stuck with little ol’ me, and I hope you like posts where I break down crying and pissing myself because I don’t know how to work the coffeemaker. Also, huge thanks to everyone for the well wishes and being badass readers. I don’t know what I’d do without you, except I do and it’s work retail. *holds up cardboard sign reading, “WILL BLOWJAY YOU TO READ MY DICK JOKES”*

In the meantime, due to the shit-crazery of this week, Most Important People will not be seen this weekend, so I understand if a couple of you have to commit suicide tomorrow. It’s honestly the only reasonable reaction here.

Enjoy the highly unorthodox Final Five that I’m not gonna lie is totally for me,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kim Kardashian Butt Kourtney Kardashian
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a pity there’s really no such thing as an ‘asshat’.

  2. Maggie Gyllenhaal Cowboy Boots
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Words that won’t appear in the same sentance….’Maggie Gyllenhaal’ and ‘style icon’

  3. Paris Hilton
    lagrin
    Commented on this photo:

    Despite her best efforts to get the part, Martin realized that making Paris the star of his home made movie, “The Human Centipede 2″, would be risking the health and well being of his other human centipede victims.

  4. Paris Hilton
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the most purely awesome photos ever captured.

  5. Lady Gaga Side Boob
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    trying too hard. Shocker, I know.

  6. Snoop Dogg Hoodie
    Skye
    Commented on this photo:

    puff puff pass

  7. Brooke Shields
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Attack of the 50 ft woman.

  8. Kim Kardashian Butt Kourtney Kardashian
    Skye
    Commented on this photo:

    yes, yes I believe it actually IS us Kim, on the front page and all, who says being a urinal doesn’t pay off?

  9. Josh Groban Shirtless
    poppymoss
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that J-Wow?

  10. Paris Hilton
    GG
    Commented on this photo:

    Big, fat, stupid Americans.

  11. Paris Hilton
    C.D.
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s still Grosser than he is.

  12. Britney Spears
    C.D.
    Commented on this photo:

    …Look to this day Young Graduates. A Bright Future Awaits you… Oh sorry, not you Miss Spears, you can sit back down.

  13. Clive Owen El Hormiguero
    C.D.
    Commented on this photo:

    WOW… It happened when I thought about GIRLS this time!!!!

  14. Katie Holmes Tom Cruise Hold Hands
    C.D.
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember… if you try to run again, I will catch you. Remember, when I chained you in the basement and forced you to watch my Movies… what’s the one thing they all had in common? … that’s RIGHT… RUNNING! So, just to get any ideas…

  15. Lady Gaga Side Boob
    C.D.
    Commented on this photo:

    woooo… that is one Sessy Wookie!

  16. Josh Groban Shirtless
    C.D.
    Commented on this photo:

    Who am I again? …. anyone…. ? Hello? Don;t just stand there and smile, lady… I really don’t know who I am or what I do!!!

  17. Pippa Middleton
    C.D.
    Commented on this photo:

    Smart looking Blazer… that I wouldn’t mind having crumpled up on my floor next to my bed…

  18. Kayte Walsh Kelsey Grammer Make Out Boss
    C.D.
    Commented on this photo:

    Bad Touch….

  19. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    C.D.
    Commented on this photo:

    Ladies and Gentlemen… the President has been shot… I repeat the Presiden…. Oh wait… some giant Austrian jumped in front of the bullet.

  20. Sharon Stone Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    Turkey neck…..gobble-gobble

  21. Britney Spears
    colleen
    Commented on this photo:

    she is a victim. i used to make fun of her until i realized that she is surrounded by people who are using her and abusing her.

  22. Kayte Walsh Kelsey Grammer Make Out Boss
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s had a tough life…I will lay off for once.

  23. Rihanna
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Hopefully some dumb bitch not running for president will spot her from a helicopter.

  24. Brooke Shields
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Her heel is stuck in the grate…so is he.

  25. Hilary Duff Tight Pants Butt
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs a low slung Ferrari to really maximize the effect.

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  27. Lady Gaga Side Boob
    Praz
    Commented on this photo:

    Yo daw, I heard you like hair

  28. Mel B Cleavage Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Phoenix Chi…a new sorority with no academic aspirations whatsoever.

  29. Clive Owen El Hormiguero
    Commented on this photo:

    “So I got these two midgets by the tops of their heads and…” “Como se dice ‘Midgets’?”

  30. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, he’s brandishing that umbrella like it’s a weapon.

  31. Amy Lee
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Nic Cage’s son???

  32. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    iamahomelessman
    Commented on this photo:

    when you get da pamp, it feels like you are cumming. i am cumming day and night!

  33. Sharon Stone Nipples
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    nothing like the smell of psychotic liberal cunt in the morning

  34. Britney Spears
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    Desperation Barbie. Now with more mental illness.

  35. Sharon Stone Nipples
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s naked from the waist down. I’m happy this is the pic you chose.

  36. Kim Kardashian Butt Kourtney Kardashian
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom paid good money to get the paps here…hurry, buy a candy bar or let someone pee on you.”

  37. Rachel Bilson
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    Bag lady meets Mary Kay lady.

  38. Kayte Walsh Kelsey Grammer Make Out Boss
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    So is this the audition for the next “Real Housewives” or another right-wing Hollywood political candidate rehearsing “family values”?

  39. Brooke Shields
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone whose monstrosity of a mom was whoring them out at 10 deserves the happy pipe. You go, Brooke! You’re an inspiration to all the toddlers in tiaras,

  40. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    Nobody told me Mildred is on the cleaning crew!

  41. Amy Lee
    jd
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she even remembers what color her hair used to be?

  42. Martha Stewart Baby Stroller
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    So her daughter writes a book about Martha that makes Kate Gosselin look like Mother Teresa, and she lets her alone with her kid? The kid that cost grandma millions in fertility treatments? WTF?

  43. SassyCat

    You honestly bring laughter to my life every day. Sincerely sorry to hear about your family and best wishes.

  44. Amy Lee
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a before-and-after shot for leather spanx,

  45. Josh Groban Shirtless
    Commented on this photo:

    It must be really sad to fail at Balthazar Gettying.

  46. Snoop Dogg Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    Has someone ever seen him and Dave Chapelle together in the same room?

  47. Rachel Bilson
    Commented on this photo:

    Sexiest outfit ever. Makes me feel like feeding pigeons.

  48. Maggie Gyllenhaal Cowboy Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh crap, it’s trend…!

  49. Mario Lopez Daughter Gia
    SisterRay
    Commented on this photo:

    How cute is that chubby arm!!! Wow, seeing babies is when I really realize that I’m female…

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