The Crap We Missed – Friday 10.7.11

October 7th, 2011 // 614 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring me talking about absolutely none of the photos in it because, on a serious note, huge thanks to Photo Boy for filling in while I dealt with some family shit. He earned his vacation next week, so you folks are stuck with little ol’ me, and I hope you like posts where I break down crying and pissing myself because I don’t know how to work the coffeemaker. Also, huge thanks to everyone for the well wishes and being badass readers. I don’t know what I’d do without you, except I do and it’s work retail. *holds up cardboard sign reading, “WILL BLOWJAY YOU TO READ MY DICK JOKES”*

In the meantime, due to the shit-crazery of this week, Most Important People will not be seen this weekend, so I understand if a couple of you have to commit suicide tomorrow. It’s honestly the only reasonable reaction here.

Enjoy the highly unorthodox Final Five that I’m not gonna lie is totally for me,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Snoop Dogg Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s showing everyone the exact number of shits I don’t give about him.

  2. Snoop Dogg Hoodie
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, uh, ‘Hizzle Fashizzle y’all’, or whatever…. man this shit is getting old. When can I start talking like a normal person again ?”

  3. Lady Gaga Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought moss only grew on the north side of trees?

  4. Demi Lovato
    edamame
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs an intervention! Those shoes are fucking hideous!
    That hair is ridiculous…. get rid of the Hi-Blights.

  5. Amy Lee
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    don’t you guys usually put ‘hot’ women on the last few pics? wtf happened? this chick is as ‘metal’ as Mr. fucking Rodgers. how DARE she use the horns. FRAUD.

  6. Kim Kardashian Butt Kourtney Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretending she can read (it’s upside down to her).

  7. Sharon Stone Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    I have to check Staples next time I go there for a nipple sharpener.

  8. Amy Lee
    edamame
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she have a new contortionist act?

  9. Kim Kardashian Butt Kourtney Kardashian
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim and Kourtney prove they know how to read by purchasing a “printed news reporting magazine thingy” at a New York city news kiosk, while a full camera crew behind them records it for posterity

  10. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s been smokin some weed out of that pipe in her left hand.

  11. Sharon Stone Nipples
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    mastectomies suck. fuck cancer

  12. edamame

    So much Botox, so little class. Those veneers and all the fillers make her face look like a Halloween mask.

  13. Pippa Middleton
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the fuck you do Americans keep photographing me ? What the hell did I ever do ? It’s my sister who is the Duchess.

  14. Martha Stewart Baby Stroller
    Commented on this photo:

    Some ex-cons look pretty scary.

  15. Mel B Cleavage Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Phoenix Chi? Why not call her Kindle or Foot Long and get something to put aside for college.

    • TomFrank

      She did. She sold the naming rights to the University of Phoenix, netting her some money AND a free college education for her daughter. Well, not a *real* college education, but, y’know.

  16. Brooke Shields
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha, ha, ha , hey everybody, take a picture of me standing next to this little douchebag. I think he was an Oompa Loompa in that Willy Wonka movie, or something.

  17. Demi Lovato
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    We warn you once again. Lady Gaga’s stunts are performed by a professional. Don’t try them at home.

  18. Rachel Bilson
    edamame
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Boy George has a line of luggage.
    Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma Car-ry on.

  19. Amy Lee
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Effin’ Ass Scent

  20. Enrique Iglesias Fan Make Out Butt Grab
    MarkM
    Commented on this photo:

    I had Shamu jump out of the water and kiss me when I was at Sea World too!

  21. Paris Hilton
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    How does this thing get up every morning and face the day?

  22. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    He used to have things covered but not any more.

  23. Paris Hilton
    Jane
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Paris and Chaz Bono were friends…

  24. Britney Spears
    Anon
    Commented on this photo:

    Idk, I think she looks really nice here.

  25. Paris Hilton
    Crabby Old Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait? So Paris Hilton is now dating Michael Moore? WTF?!

  26. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Lack of a Better Term
    Commented on this photo:

    The Fuck! Who Farted? That smells like rotten cabbage and sliders.

  27. Deacon Jones

    Good luck, FISH…

    I once thought I had crabs, too.

    I had just smoked a bong after banging this slut in college and my crotch was itching like mad, I freaked. Turns out if was just from using Irish Spring. Hang in there bro.

    • crab cakes

      U are a liar- blame game or what? Yes, indeed, everyone for YOUR disease, current lifelong STD that is, claiming u wanted to sue her, when u knew she is the only person u ever dated that had the money to pay u. OMG maybe she should sue for all your idle threats ruining her fragile reputation years ago. Yes, u told so many she was diseased when she was clean. On Yom Kippur, u still thought u didn’t do anything wrong so you did not repent. It is so typical the way u referred to her as a college s…now all bloggers know who u r…maybe keep the drug thing to yourself also…BS is still the Queen of Pop! Long Live BS

    • crabbie pattie

      Well the Legendary Britney has moved on with her very HOT man the only thing your grabbing and squeezing these days is your nasty irish spring. You stalk Britney on a regular basis, and it is Friday night (your holiday) go figure. I am sure your Jewish upbringing should have thought you not to say rude comments about former lovers. Historonic P.D. could be what your r suffering from…so sad Deacon Jones…and you thought Britney was about you? BS loved K-Fed and many other J guys…

  28. Sharon Stone Nipples
    Crabby Old Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, if the director hadn’t included one shot in an otherwise crappy movie, would she even have had a “career”?

  29. Rihanna
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like they photoshopped a red squirrel’s head on to a grey squirrel’s body!

  30. Martha Stewart Baby Stroller
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Martha Stewart will cut a bitch. I mean, sure, she’ll send you the nicest flower arrangement you’ve ever seen as an apology—but she’ll still cut you.

  31. Britney Spears
    Mr Obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking doable thanks to the “I’m on a lot of prescription drugs look.”

  32. Amy Lee
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess the blogger likes Amy and her fetish rubberwear.
    You have to powder down before wearing that kind of garb.

  33. Amy Lee
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    I can appreciate that this Final Five was totally for you, Fish, but for someone who claims to hate Daredevil with a passion…

  34. Keanu Reeves Motorcycle Helmet
    allieb
    Commented on this photo:

    hi sexy!

  35. Snoop Dogg Hoodie
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he’s just tired..poor old man…walk him home wont you?

  36. Brooke Shields
    edie
    Commented on this photo:

    Jack: I don’t know how much longer I can live with Will. I mean, every time I get in the shower with him he’s like, Jack, get the hell out.
    Karen: I know honey, Grace is driving me nuts too. She can’t concentrate on work anymore, she just sits around all day, doodling pictures of people’s houses, on these enormous sketch pads. And then, she’s on the phone all the time ordering furniture. Honey, where’s she going to put all that, huh? In those “houses” she’s drawing?

  37. Mel B Cleavage Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards
    edie
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, how sweet, she coordinated her daughter’s eyeshadow to her own shirt. I guess it’s true, they really are the next in fashion accessories.

  38. Rachel Bilson
    bone 'er
    Commented on this photo:

    yet another young starlet who needs to invest in a full-length mirror

  39. Paris Hilton
    MarkM
    Commented on this photo:

    Still, they’re cousins,
    Identical cousins and you’ll find,
    They laugh alike, they walk alike,
    At times they even talk alike —
    You can lose your mind,
    When cousins are two of a kind!

  40. Enrique Iglesias Fan Make Out Butt Grab
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    So Britney’s opening up for Enrique, huh ?

  41. Snoop Dogg Hoodie
    King
    Commented on this photo:

    “The war had all but ground to a halt in the blink of an eye. Lucian, the most feared and ruthless leader ever to rule the Lycan clan, had finally been killed. The Lycan horde scattered to the wind in a single evening of flame and retribution….”

  42. Amy Lee
    Sweenis McFrecklenut
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn she got fugly!

  43. Paris Hilton
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Which of them looks like someone you’d want to go for a pint with?

  44. Britney Spears
    farting old man's wife
    Commented on this photo:

    If she could just keep up this look it would be great!! Leave those damned cheetos and mountain dew at home and be an adult in public!!!

  45. Amy Lee
    EmmaWatson's Vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    I find her hot.

    • farting old man's wife

      I bet you like Kat Von D too, Huh???

      • NoseRingGirl

        because a beautiful woman who can write lyrics, play the shit out of a piano, AND with a voice to make you weep (in a good way) is TOTALLY comparable to an over-inked, vapid, LA-washed white trash television personality…..right….

  46. Clive Owen El Hormiguero
    farting old man's wife
    Commented on this photo:

    I would gladly blow him!!! He is gorgeous!!!!

  47. Lady Gaga Side Boob
    farting old man's wife
    Commented on this photo:

    My papillon has those ears!!!! But my dog is still way cuter and probably smells better!!!

  48. Demi Lovato
    yoyoblack
    Commented on this photo:

    her hair is the exact color of my parents’ yorkie

  49. Jack Black
    farting old man's wife
    Commented on this photo:

    White bread, spam eating, interbred hollywood royalty!!!

  50. Josh Groban Shirtless
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, young lady, your mother must be very proud.

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