Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring me talking about absolutely none of the photos in it because, on a serious note, huge thanks to Photo Boy for filling in while I dealt with some family shit. He earned his vacation next week, so you folks are stuck with little ol’ me, and I hope you like posts where I break down crying and pissing myself because I don’t know how to work the coffeemaker. Also, huge thanks to everyone for the well wishes and being badass readers. I don’t know what I’d do without you, except I do and it’s work retail. *holds up cardboard sign reading, “WILL BLOWJAY YOU TO READ MY DICK JOKES”*
In the meantime, due to the shit-crazery of this week, Most Important People will not be seen this weekend, so I understand if a couple of you have to commit suicide tomorrow. It’s honestly the only reasonable reaction here.
Enjoy the highly unorthodox Final Five that I’m not gonna lie is totally for me,
- The Superficial
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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
He’s showing everyone the exact number of shits I don’t give about him.
“Yeah, uh, ‘Hizzle Fashizzle y’all’, or whatever…. man this shit is getting old. When can I start talking like a normal person again ?”
I thought moss only grew on the north side of trees?
She needs an intervention! Those shoes are fucking hideous!
That hair is ridiculous…. get rid of the Hi-Blights.
don’t you guys usually put ‘hot’ women on the last few pics? wtf happened? this chick is as ‘metal’ as Mr. fucking Rodgers. how DARE she use the horns. FRAUD.
Pretending she can read (it’s upside down to her).
“Can you read this to us? All of it?”
I have to check Staples next time I go there for a nipple sharpener.
Does she have a new contortionist act?
Kim and Kourtney prove they know how to read by purchasing a “printed news reporting magazine thingy” at a New York city news kiosk, while a full camera crew behind them records it for posterity
Looks like she’s been smokin some weed out of that pipe in her left hand.
mastectomies suck. fuck cancer
So much Botox, so little class. Those veneers and all the fillers make her face look like a Halloween mask.
Why the fuck you do Americans keep photographing me ? What the hell did I ever do ? It’s my sister who is the Duchess.
Americans? This has been british tabloid fodder from the beginning…not sure why American websites joined the fray…really no explanation
Just to be trendy, I’m sure.
Some ex-cons look pretty scary.
Phoenix Chi? Why not call her Kindle or Foot Long and get something to put aside for college.
She did. She sold the naming rights to the University of Phoenix, netting her some money AND a free college education for her daughter. Well, not a *real* college education, but, y’know.
Ha, ha, ha , hey everybody, take a picture of me standing next to this little douchebag. I think he was an Oompa Loompa in that Willy Wonka movie, or something.
We warn you once again. Lady Gaga’s stunts are performed by a professional. Don’t try them at home.
I didn’t know Boy George has a line of luggage.
Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma Car-ry on.
This needs to happen.
Effin’ Ass Scent
I had Shamu jump out of the water and kiss me when I was at Sea World too!
How does this thing get up every morning and face the day?
forget about facing the day, how the hell does it get up?
She does it with a mountain of coke
He used to have things covered but not any more.
I didn’t know Paris and Chaz Bono were friends…
Idk, I think she looks really nice here.
You know what would really make her look good? If she cut her hair off.
me too! lovin’ the blues….
Wait? So Paris Hilton is now dating Michael Moore? WTF?!
The Fuck! Who Farted? That smells like rotten cabbage and sliders.
That was me. And I was really relieved when it really was only a fart.
Good luck, FISH…
I once thought I had crabs, too.
I had just smoked a bong after banging this slut in college and my crotch was itching like mad, I freaked. Turns out if was just from using Irish Spring. Hang in there bro.
U are a liar- blame game or what? Yes, indeed, everyone for YOUR disease, current lifelong STD that is, claiming u wanted to sue her, when u knew she is the only person u ever dated that had the money to pay u. OMG maybe she should sue for all your idle threats ruining her fragile reputation years ago. Yes, u told so many she was diseased when she was clean. On Yom Kippur, u still thought u didn’t do anything wrong so you did not repent. It is so typical the way u referred to her as a college s…now all bloggers know who u r…maybe keep the drug thing to yourself also…BS is still the Queen of Pop! Long Live BS
Well the Legendary Britney has moved on with her very HOT man the only thing your grabbing and squeezing these days is your nasty irish spring. You stalk Britney on a regular basis, and it is Friday night (your holiday) go figure. I am sure your Jewish upbringing should have thought you not to say rude comments about former lovers. Historonic P.D. could be what your r suffering from…so sad Deacon Jones…and you thought Britney was about you? BS loved K-Fed and many other J guys…
What, in the fuck, are you on right now?
You know, if the director hadn’t included one shot in an otherwise crappy movie, would she even have had a “career”?
Very good question sir
Hey, she was great in Casino.
It looks like she’s still in Casino.
It’s like they photoshopped a red squirrel’s head on to a grey squirrel’s body!
Martha Stewart will cut a bitch. I mean, sure, she’ll send you the nicest flower arrangement you’ve ever seen as an apology—but she’ll still cut you.
Looking doable thanks to the “I’m on a lot of prescription drugs look.”
I guess the blogger likes Amy and her fetish rubberwear.
You have to powder down before wearing that kind of garb.
I can appreciate that this Final Five was totally for you, Fish, but for someone who claims to hate Daredevil with a passion…
hi sexy!
I think he’s just tired..poor old man…walk him home wont you?
Jack: I don’t know how much longer I can live with Will. I mean, every time I get in the shower with him he’s like, Jack, get the hell out.
Karen: I know honey, Grace is driving me nuts too. She can’t concentrate on work anymore, she just sits around all day, doodling pictures of people’s houses, on these enormous sketch pads. And then, she’s on the phone all the time ordering furniture. Honey, where’s she going to put all that, huh? In those “houses” she’s drawing?
Oh, how sweet, she coordinated her daughter’s eyeshadow to her own shirt. I guess it’s true, they really are the next in fashion accessories.
yet another young starlet who needs to invest in a full-length mirror
Still, they’re cousins,
Identical cousins and you’ll find,
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even talk alike —
You can lose your mind,
When cousins are two of a kind!
You should save that for when he poses with LeAnn Rimes.
So Britney’s opening up for Enrique, huh ?
“The war had all but ground to a halt in the blink of an eye. Lucian, the most feared and ruthless leader ever to rule the Lycan clan, had finally been killed. The Lycan horde scattered to the wind in a single evening of flame and retribution….”
Damn she got fugly!
Which of them looks like someone you’d want to go for a pint with?
If she could just keep up this look it would be great!! Leave those damned cheetos and mountain dew at home and be an adult in public!!!
I find her hot.
I bet you like Kat Von D too, Huh???
because a beautiful woman who can write lyrics, play the shit out of a piano, AND with a voice to make you weep (in a good way) is TOTALLY comparable to an over-inked, vapid, LA-washed white trash television personality…..right….
I would gladly blow him!!! He is gorgeous!!!!
My papillon has those ears!!!! But my dog is still way cuter and probably smells better!!!
her hair is the exact color of my parents’ yorkie
White bread, spam eating, interbred hollywood royalty!!!
Yes, young lady, your mother must be very proud.