Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring me talking about absolutely none of the photos in it because, on a serious note, huge thanks to Photo Boy for filling in while I dealt with some family shit. He earned his vacation next week, so you folks are stuck with little ol’ me, and I hope you like posts where I break down crying and pissing myself because I don’t know how to work the coffeemaker. Also, huge thanks to everyone for the well wishes and being badass readers. I don’t know what I’d do without you, except I do and it’s work retail. *holds up cardboard sign reading, “WILL BLOWJAY YOU TO READ MY DICK JOKES”*
In the meantime, due to the shit-crazery of this week, Most Important People will not be seen this weekend, so I understand if a couple of you have to commit suicide tomorrow. It’s honestly the only reasonable reaction here.
Enjoy the highly unorthodox Final Five that I’m not gonna lie is totally for me,
- The Superficial
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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Wait, so if Robin Williams is on the left, who’s playing Mrs. Doubtfire?
LOVE!!!
Chelsea Handler needs a bra… oh wait.
I guess it’s true; you can’t go home again.
Is that the Murphy spawn? Is that the little bundle of child support payment delight?
Nope, because her name is Angel Iris
That’s Angel. Phoenix is older than that
I like it :-o
Dude, if you are going to manscape, go to a professional. Those stupid lines across your chest look like a 90s fade gone wrong.
Um, as you can prolly tell, he wasn’t posing for this… he doesn’t claim to have the best bod and rarely has shirtless pics. So if he wants to have a looksee out the window and isn’t expecting photos, dang it, let the poor man have a looksee without rude comments.
are you new here?
“lemme get two, lemme get two nicks dawg”
All day I dream about smokin’. Then, I make it happen.
1+
The Flying Nun wants that washed in battery acid before her costume is returned. k thanks.
To be left in the will as prime beneficiary the daughter had to give up her first born child.
White after Labor Day…..and in a size 16? Ballsy!
“Well, at least you’re not black. ‘Cause that’s just gross.”
+1
Glinda and Elphaba go shopping.
Elphaba and Elphaba, mebbe.
Cruella probably only needs like, maybe 25 Dalmatians for that outfit.
First thing I wanna do is get me some real French Fries y’all.
I thought it was gonna be Dinklage.
Hey, P-Dink gets made fun of on a daily basis on every different medium and everywhere he goes, give him a day off.
There best not be anyone fucking with Peter Dinklage. I like him and will use the Pear of Anguish on anyone who is teasing him.
He’s drunk and she’s in her pajamas. Must be a good movie.
She’s no Jennifer Aniston.
Yeah, that’s what Aniston’s would look like WITH a bra.
I’m “royalty adjacent”, but I’ll still cut a bitch.
like
It’s not cool and outlandish if you need a seeing eye human to help you walk from the door to your fucking car.
I always feel like I’ve accomplished something when I reach the end of a Final Five, seeing as how I think this is only the second time it’s happened.
What do you get when you cross a Labrador retriever with a retard?
“That’s right Katie, just keep holding my hand like it says in the contract and there won’t be any trouble.”
Young Woody Allen and his Jersey Shore weekend.
i think you need to be quite a bit thinner to pull off the annie hall thing
80s meets Grunge, but not in a good way.
Someone tell her that paper doesn’t have funnies in it.
Wow. There’s a bag that won’t get stolen from the baggage claim.
My first thought, too.
Now that people know what hers look like, it probably will get stolen.
For a brief, horrifying moment, I thought this was Kristen Stewart. And then I realized it couldn’t be, since she’s making a facial expression.
this chunky bitch couldn’t shine Kristen Stewart’s pale, white ass cheek. and Evanescence SUCKS dead donkey cock.
And you are the stupidest person alive. Waste of sperm.
Evanescence is awesome, and Amy Lee is one of the best female vocalists. Maybe you should go back to listening to Ke$ha, Any Guy.
Evenescence is fucking terrible far from best anything, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Wow, she matched her hair to his skin tone. Isn’t that lovely?
Sometimes when you see a homeless person you think, is that Maggie Gyllenhaal? This time it is.
“How was I supposed to know it was a black-tie affair. The bastard said to come as you are.”
Can you imagine the sex tape from these two ? The horror ! The horror !
“Ohhh the humanities…”
two pics of Maggie Gyllenhaal in one week? damn.
Get unda ze umbrellllaaa!
Ja!
“Robin, you sure ain’t no Peter Pan anymore youself.”
Just proves Glenn Close’s stare can still turn a man into stone even without her wig of snakes.
“I think that curry was a bad idea . . .”
Which one has Downs?
Robin, please, just stop. You’re not funny any more. All of those people are laughing AT you, not WITH you.
Where da cheese at?
Why does she need to hold on to that little person to walk?
I think the Latisse made her eyelashes grow together, and now she can’t see.
He’s a Seeing Eye nerd
I think Latisse made her go blind. I hope she sues the SH## out of them.
Nice cleavage, mom.
Performing what? CPR on a fat chick?
I want to make a joke, but I got a feeling God already did.
When She made Mario you mean?
“Have they gotten back to you yet on the Garp sequel? I mean, come on, it’s been thirty years now.”
I thought Andy Kaufman died years ago.
Proof that anybody can wear low rider jeans
“Jude for a girl? It’s not a good thing.”
Shazam!!! Boner!
So there aren’t any statements from Mr Mcqueens’ estate about this casting confusion?