The Crap We Missed – Friday 10.7.11

October 7th, 2011 // 614 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring me talking about absolutely none of the photos in it because, on a serious note, huge thanks to Photo Boy for filling in while I dealt with some family shit. He earned his vacation next week, so you folks are stuck with little ol’ me, and I hope you like posts where I break down crying and pissing myself because I don’t know how to work the coffeemaker. Also, huge thanks to everyone for the well wishes and being badass readers. I don’t know what I’d do without you, except I do and it’s work retail. *holds up cardboard sign reading, “WILL BLOWJAY YOU TO READ MY DICK JOKES”*

In the meantime, due to the shit-crazery of this week, Most Important People will not be seen this weekend, so I understand if a couple of you have to commit suicide tomorrow. It’s honestly the only reasonable reaction here.

Enjoy the highly unorthodox Final Five that I’m not gonna lie is totally for me,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    What a hideous, grotesque abomination. Talk about a walking waste. In a perfect world, people like that would be euthanized for leeching off of the overall populous. Also, that guy next to Paris could stand to lose a few.

  2. Britney Spears
    Twilight81
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone should tell Halloween mask manufacturers that Britney Spears isn’t relevant anymore.

  3. Clive Owen El Hormiguero
    Uncle Denial
    Commented on this photo:

    Much to Clive’s surprise, “paid under the table”, was somewhat lost in translation.

  4. Robin Williams Glenn Close
    Uncle Denial
    Commented on this photo:

    “And Jack, remember. You’re my number one guy!”

  5. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Uncle Denial
    Commented on this photo:

    Hoping to return to the good graces of the GOP, Arnold practices holding back large crowds from polling centers. “For the Gipper!”, he was heard to exclaim before passing out from the effort.

  6. Britney Spears
    Bubba
    Commented on this photo:

    Sooooo……what HAS Clemmy from Reno 911! been doing since the show ended?

  7. Demi Lovato
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    yes, we get it. You are so edgy and dark…… what a fucking poser

  8. Pippa Middleton
    Fantastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Those sisters really love the black eyeliner, huh.

  9. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    Fat hispanic maid in sight?

  10. Mama Pinkus

    she looks mature – that’s not a bad thing, except in her line of work

    • Mandy

      Agreed. I think she actually looks really pretty in this photo. Older – but still pretty.

      • Yup

        Right… and then she get the impulse to smear dog crap all over the walls, like she did at her house when child protective services had to be called to protect her kids from her. “Britney… NO!” screamed her handlers, but she did it anyway… and then walked around naked. She’s mentally deficient, and that ain’t gonna change…

      • Mandy

        Yes, but she’s pretty, and being “mentally deficient” doesn’t change that either. She can be as crazy as she wants in her own life. I think she looks hot as hell.

  11. Enrique Iglesias Fan Make Out Butt Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    Anna Kournikova has really let herself go….

  12. Paris Hilton
    Wagamama
    Commented on this photo:

    Gives “Hang Loose” a whole new meaning.

  13. Brooke Shields
    Wagamama
    Commented on this photo:

    Danny DeVito scores!

  14. Amy Lee
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Ew, a tonsilith just flew out of her mouth.

  15. Amy Lee
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah yes, your sophomore year, the year a fine arts student totally stops giving a shit about what they look like.

  16. Amy Lee
    Racer X
    Commented on this photo:

    I would so eat her out.

  17. Demi Lovato
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    To the clerk ‘You know, the black ones aren’t hideous enough…I like the style though…can you get me something in a revolting pattern?’

  18. Martha Stewart Baby Stroller
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That hot college polevaulter has her own baby carriage line?

  19. Paris Hilton
    hijkmno
    Commented on this photo:

    they’re both thinking, “i could totally tap that.”

  20. Mario Lopez Daughter Gia
    Hate
    Commented on this photo:

    “Khloe Kardasian in The Return of Benjamin Button”

  21. Amy Lee
    samuel
    Commented on this photo:

    is that britney spears?

  22. Hilary Duff Tight Pants Butt
    Tuppy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Suck on this, Pippa!”

  23. Amy Lee
    Tuppy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Out with the old burrito, in with the new!”

  24. Amy Lee
    Tuppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, black leather S&M outfits, so original!

  25. Amy Lee
    Icehawg
    Commented on this photo:

    Is…is she having a stroke?

  26. Kim Kardashian Butt Kourtney Kardashian
    JAS
    Commented on this photo:

    “Souls here! Get your souls here! Among our previous offers we sell’em to the highest bidder” (spoken in a 1920′s new york accent)

  27. Enrique Iglesias Fan Make Out Butt Grab
    NotMeNo
    Commented on this photo:

    even a gay man needs a woman’s loving hand sometimes….

  28. Sharon Stone Nipples
    Bouncy Castle, London, UK
    Commented on this photo:

    Nevermind her nips, why has she got a golden clothes peg through her ear?

  29. Snoop Dogg Hoodie
    Bouncy Castle, London, UK
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear America,

    We sent you The Beatles, and you return the favour with THIS?

    Yours

    Britain

  30. Amy Lee
    JGD
    Commented on this photo:

    This was in San Juan, Puerto Rico BTW She looks in pain!!!

  31. Kim Kardashian Butt Kourtney Kardashian
    PRL
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone needs to get their glasses checked…. no way that is either of them….. Kims ass is much bigger than that…. especially in white……

  32. Amy Lee
    Necrosis
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch needs to loose weight. Love her voice!

  33. Josh Groban Shirtless
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Josh- can’t even have a private moment. :(

  34. Mel B Cleavage Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards
    bell
    Commented on this photo:

    Not only is that not Phoenix Chi, because shes like 13 now, but I dont think thats even her spawn. That looks nothing like Angel Murphy either. I think thats just some random little kid.

  35. Josh Groban Shirtless
    bell
    Commented on this photo:

    Josh Grobon and Jwoww?

  36. Pippa Middleton
    elaine benes
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh! My social climbing sister got the prince, and all I get are a bunch of online stalkers obsessed with my ass

  37. Mel B Cleavage Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards
    elaine benes
    Commented on this photo:

    Perfect look for her “Toddlers in Tiaras” debut!

  38. Paris Hilton
    Facebook Me
    Commented on this photo:

    2.5 by the number of fingers they are holding up. The score given to Paris preformance in her sex tape.

  39. Amy Lee
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Does Photoboy have a crush on Amy Lee?

  40. Enrique Iglesias Fan Make Out Butt Grab
    Big_Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Snooki wanted to check out the West Coast

  41. Paris Hilton
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one is Laurel and which one is Hardy??

  42. Amy Lee
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Love them!!! Seeing her next week!!

  43. Britney Spears
    Jelena
    Commented on this photo:

    *throws up*

  44. Pippa Middleton
    Jelena
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like a large midget

  45. Rihanna
    Jelena
    Commented on this photo:

    I always knew she was a transvestite

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