The Crap We Missed – Friday 10.7.11

October 7th, 2011 // 614 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring me talking about absolutely none of the photos in it because, on a serious note, huge thanks to Photo Boy for filling in while I dealt with some family shit. He earned his vacation next week, so you folks are stuck with little ol’ me, and I hope you like posts where I break down crying and pissing myself because I don’t know how to work the coffeemaker. Also, huge thanks to everyone for the well wishes and being badass readers. I don’t know what I’d do without you, except I do and it’s work retail. *holds up cardboard sign reading, “WILL BLOWJAY YOU TO READ MY DICK JOKES”*

In the meantime, due to the shit-crazery of this week, Most Important People will not be seen this weekend, so I understand if a couple of you have to commit suicide tomorrow. It’s honestly the only reasonable reaction here.

Enjoy the highly unorthodox Final Five that I’m not gonna lie is totally for me,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. I expect a “Most important people of the last two weeks” next week.

  2. Enrique Iglesias Fan Make Out Butt Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh Chaz Bono, you still have the supple lips of a woman.”

  3. Sharon Stone Nipples
    foxhunter
    Commented on this photo:

    One’s an innie, one’s an outtie!

  4. Paris Hilton
    dude!
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that is a contrast in subject matter. Wow. Just wow.

  5. Britney Spears
    Mr. Fuck You
    Commented on this photo:

    Jane Crack-ho-ski, from “30 Rocks”

  6. Snoop Dogg Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    “Go ahead and pass me that Cheech & Chong sized number.”

  7. Paris Hilton
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait’ll the sex tape comes out. (((shudder)))

  8. Enrique Iglesias Fan Make Out Butt Grab
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I think Tupac got a somewhat better deal.

  9. Kayte Walsh Kelsey Grammer Make Out Boss
    dude!
    Commented on this photo:

    how sweet, a dad kissing his daught . . .oh . . .never mind.

  10. Britney Spears
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s going to the see the louver.

  11. Clive Owen El Hormiguero
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    TV there is so awesome…one of the hostesses blows you during the interview.

  12. Rihanna
    Jill
    Commented on this photo:

    So is the fur vest technically a piece of her a canadian tuxedo, or more of an accessory?

  13. Cock Dr

    I’ve got a nice new $5 bill for the first person who can locate the www. C E L E B U R .com server(s), infiltrate the facility and take them down.

  14. Hilary Duff Tight Pants Butt
    dude!
    Commented on this photo:

    nice.

  15. Paris Hilton
    slippinx12
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof she is hellspawn, why else would she be with the Violator

  16. camparito

    In the thumbnail i thought she was Dina Lohan

  17. Katie Holmes Tom Cruise Hold Hands
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He really is getting younger by sucking the life out of her.

  18. Demi Lovato
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a hooker shopping on her lunch hour break.

  19. Enrique Iglesias Fan Make Out Butt Grab
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh it looks like he caught a big one there.

  20. Paris Hilton
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    Chaz Bono sure gets around!

  21. Clive Owen El Hormiguero
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s unfortunate that Clive’s hairline has gone into full retreat mode. He is quite the UK cutie.

  22. Awe…reading “Most important people” is the only reason I get out of bed on Saturday mornings.

    hah, I’m just kidding…I read it from bed. That’s what I bought the damn iPad for.

  23. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there a Madame Tussauds in Paris now?

  24. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    If Danny Devito and Chaz Bono had a kid…

  25. Enrique Iglesias Fan Make Out Butt Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa…under the shirt, AND a reacharound? She must smell a SlimJim in his pocket or something.

  26. Mario Lopez Daughter Gia
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I really shouldn’t dis the baby but she does look a bit froggish in this shot.

    • Dude, come on. I think she has down syndrome (no joke). Even I have limits…

      • Cock Dr

        So the baby is in fact “intellectually disabled”?
        Well, I almost feel sense of shame now about making the joke, but a shot or 2 of schnapps should put me right.

    • Trek Girl

      I have not heard anything from Mario Lopez or his wife about Gia having down syndrome.

      If you look at pictures of Mario and his wife, and then look at Gia, you’ll see that her features are a mix of their features. Those features coupled with her chubbiness makes it look like she might have down syndrome. I cannot find it right now, but I’m pretty sure there is a picture of Mario as a baby, and he was very chubby.

      TL;DR: She most likely does not have down syndrome. She’s just a chubby baby that looks like her mom and dad.

  27. Lady Gaga Side Boob
    edamame
    Commented on this photo:

    Bride of Cousin It?

  28. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s she doing community service for this time?

  29. Clive Owen El Hormiguero
    Commented on this photo:

    One of those weird puppets must be fluffing him.

  30. Keanu Reeves Motorcycle Helmet
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Have I ever seen this guy smiling before?
    I’ve seen him puking courtesy the SW, but smiles….never.

  31. Britney Spears
    Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    …and she found the McDonalds

  32. Mario Lopez Daughter Gia
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s adorable! I still don’t think daddy put her in mommy’s tummy the regular way though.

  33. Lady Gaga Side Boob
    edamame
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel sorry for the poor soul who has to come up with ever more outlandish shit for Gaga to wear! The pressure must be incredible.

  34. Kayte Walsh Kelsey Grammer Make Out Boss
    Commented on this photo:

    How sweet the taste of new poon is…

  35. Enrique Iglesias Fan Make Out Butt Grab
    JoJojojo
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can’t believe I got to second base with Enrique Iglesias! Now, off to Comic Con to molest James Marsters and the boys from Supernatural. God I love reading WIncest…”

  36. Paris Hilton
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Jonah Hill’s stomach band broke again…….

  37. Sharon Stone Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    My grandma started forgetting underwear when she went senile too.

  38. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    “Get to the choppaaa”

  39. Lady Gaga Side Boob
    Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    At least at the end of the night they can turn her upside down and mop up her stank.

  40. Sharon Stone Nipples
    edamame
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if her kids ever miss the orphanage.

  41. Martha Stewart Baby Stroller
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, if that’s not the “I’ll stab you if you look at me wrong” face, I don’t know what is…

  42. Josh Groban Shirtless
    Commented on this photo:

    “uh, sorry…I, um…that’s never happened to me before”

  43. Kim Kardashian Butt Kourtney Kardashian
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    *using power of mind to wish insanely heavy & unexpected menstrual flood upon Kim’s white tent pants*

    • karlito

      these cows have no style what so ever. she’s wearing cheaply made ,wrinkled, ill fitting polyester pants with a cheap looking polyester top she probably picked up at the local Sally Ann and a hat that was found at a ’60′s revival store. her sister looks like she’s wearing a lamp shade as a skirt. do us all a favour…do not report anything about these people. when a reporter of yours see’s one of them, tell them to photograph a fresh file of steaming dog pooh instead.

  44. Amy Lee
    Commented on this photo:

    Still very hot… Yeah, I said it.

  45. Paris Hilton
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    at least LiLo is sucking rich European dick for coke. Paris has apparently stooped to lifting up huge gut to suck dick for coke at the Motel 6 now. LiLo = flawless victory.

  46. Hilary Duff Tight Pants Butt
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the one chick in Hollywood that keeps getting hotter IMO

  47. Pippa Middleton
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Even Pippa is thinking “WTF is it with all the internet photos of my ass?”

  48. Robin Williams Glenn Close
    edamame
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m telling you, Robin, the world is waiting for a Mork & Mindy revamp. I’ve always wanted to play Mindy.”

  49. Robin Williams Glenn Close
    JoJojojo
    Commented on this photo:

    “I won’t be *ignored*, Mork!”

  50. Hilary Duff Tight Pants Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    Hillary’s duff.

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