Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring me talking about absolutely none of the photos in it because, on a serious note, huge thanks to Photo Boy for filling in while I dealt with some family shit. He earned his vacation next week, so you folks are stuck with little ol’ me, and I hope you like posts where I break down crying and pissing myself because I don’t know how to work the coffeemaker. Also, huge thanks to everyone for the well wishes and being badass readers. I don’t know what I’d do without you, except I do and it’s work retail. *holds up cardboard sign reading, “WILL BLOWJAY YOU TO READ MY DICK JOKES”*
In the meantime, due to the shit-crazery of this week, Most Important People will not be seen this weekend, so I understand if a couple of you have to commit suicide tomorrow. It’s honestly the only reasonable reaction here.
Enjoy the highly unorthodox Final Five that I’m not gonna lie is totally for me,
- The Superficial
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
I expect a “Most important people of the last two weeks” next week.
DITTO.
Screw it, I won’t see it because I’m committing suicide right now. Thanks a lot Fish!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_xisb2K-6A
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRgTeA_wGko
“Oh Chaz Bono, you still have the supple lips of a woman.”
One’s an innie, one’s an outtie!
At least they’re even. LINDSAY.
Now that is a contrast in subject matter. Wow. Just wow.
Jane Crack-ho-ski, from “30 Rocks”
“Go ahead and pass me that Cheech & Chong sized number.”
fer shizzle
Wait’ll the sex tape comes out. (((shudder)))
LMAO
I think Tupac got a somewhat better deal.
how sweet, a dad kissing his daught . . .oh . . .never mind.
She’s going to the see the louver.
TV there is so awesome…one of the hostesses blows you during the interview.
So is the fur vest technically a piece of her a canadian tuxedo, or more of an accessory?
I think it’s roughly equivalent to the white evening scarf on standard tuxedos.
I’ve got a nice new $5 bill for the first person who can locate the www. C E L E B U R .com server(s), infiltrate the facility and take them down.
HAHAHA!
Bravo… and I’ll throw in a blowjob in true Superficial fashion. Just don’t expect me to swallow, I’m saving myself for marriage or Chris Brown… whichever comes first.
You’re cheap! $5 to have the FBI knocking on my door afterwards…that won’t even be been enough to bride them with my fresh donuts. LOL
i bet the porn unerworld will help you
nice.
Proof she is hellspawn, why else would she be with the Violator
cntrl+f “Violator”. Thank you.
In the thumbnail i thought she was Dina Lohan
He really is getting younger by sucking the life out of her.
You have discovered Xenu’s true plan.
She looks like a hooker shopping on her lunch hour break.
DING! +10
Oh it looks like he caught a big one there.
Chaz Bono sure gets around!
It’s unfortunate that Clive’s hairline has gone into full retreat mode. He is quite the UK cutie.
Awe…reading “Most important people” is the only reason I get out of bed on Saturday mornings.
hah, I’m just kidding…I read it from bed. That’s what I bought the damn iPad for.
From my bed to yours, good morning
Besides, how am I supposed to know if I’m funny or not ?
Is there a Madame Tussauds in Paris now?
I thought the same thing McFeely but then I noticed the blemishes on it’s skin and realized this isn’t of the same quality as Madame Tussaud’s stuff.
totally looks that way
If Danny Devito and Chaz Bono had a kid…
Whoa…under the shirt, AND a reacharound? She must smell a SlimJim in his pocket or something.
I really shouldn’t dis the baby but she does look a bit froggish in this shot.
Dude, come on. I think she has down syndrome (no joke). Even I have limits…
So the baby is in fact “intellectually disabled”?
Well, I almost feel sense of shame now about making the joke, but a shot or 2 of schnapps should put me right.
I have not heard anything from Mario Lopez or his wife about Gia having down syndrome.
If you look at pictures of Mario and his wife, and then look at Gia, you’ll see that her features are a mix of their features. Those features coupled with her chubbiness makes it look like she might have down syndrome. I cannot find it right now, but I’m pretty sure there is a picture of Mario as a baby, and he was very chubby.
TL;DR: She most likely does not have down syndrome. She’s just a chubby baby that looks like her mom and dad.
She looks like she’s gonna remain short.
Bride of Cousin It?
What’s she doing community service for this time?
community service and servicing the community are two waaaay different things, my friend.
Someone should explain that to Paris.
One of those weird puppets must be fluffing him.
Have I ever seen this guy smiling before?
I’ve seen him puking courtesy the SW, but smiles….never.
Spot on! It’s a bit offputting, no?
But will anyone start a Happy Keanu meme?
He smiles about 300 times more than Eminem
Well Christ, so does a jack-o-lantern.
…and she found the McDonalds
+1
She’s adorable! I still don’t think daddy put her in mommy’s tummy the regular way though.
I feel sorry for the poor soul who has to come up with ever more outlandish shit for Gaga to wear! The pressure must be incredible.
How sweet the taste of new poon is…
“I can’t believe I got to second base with Enrique Iglesias! Now, off to Comic Con to molest James Marsters and the boys from Supernatural. God I love reading WIncest…”
you just reminded me of how much I hate fangirls.
Looks like Jonah Hill’s stomach band broke again…….
My grandma started forgetting underwear when she went senile too.
“Get to the choppaaa”
+1
“What happened to you Dillon, you used to be someone I could trust!”
At least at the end of the night they can turn her upside down and mop up her stank.
I wonder if her kids ever miss the orphanage.
Man, if that’s not the “I’ll stab you if you look at me wrong” face, I don’t know what is…
“uh, sorry…I, um…that’s never happened to me before”
*using power of mind to wish insanely heavy & unexpected menstrual flood upon Kim’s white tent pants*
these cows have no style what so ever. she’s wearing cheaply made ,wrinkled, ill fitting polyester pants with a cheap looking polyester top she probably picked up at the local Sally Ann and a hat that was found at a ’60′s revival store. her sister looks like she’s wearing a lamp shade as a skirt. do us all a favour…do not report anything about these people. when a reporter of yours see’s one of them, tell them to photograph a fresh file of steaming dog pooh instead.
Still very hot… Yeah, I said it.
at least LiLo is sucking rich European dick for coke. Paris has apparently stooped to lifting up huge gut to suck dick for coke at the Motel 6 now. LiLo = flawless victory.
This is the one chick in Hollywood that keeps getting hotter IMO
Even Pippa is thinking “WTF is it with all the internet photos of my ass?”
I’d prefer to look at Pippa’s ass over Courtney Stodden’s ANYTHING. Just sayin.
“I’m telling you, Robin, the world is waiting for a Mork & Mindy revamp. I’ve always wanted to play Mindy.”
“I won’t be *ignored*, Mork!”
Hillary’s duff.