The Crap We Missed – Friday 10.25.13

October 25th, 2013 // 317 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, which happens to be the smallest gallery of the week, born purely out of lack of content and not at all because of the allure of having whiskey for lunch. You’re still getting some old favorites as well as some newbs, like Kobe Bryant, who I’m not sure if he’s ever been in TCWM, but yesterday he was taunting a lion (even though, let’s be honest, she was probably asking for it), so he’s in. Then there’s blonde Johnny Depp with Amber Heard and the albino assassin tasked with murdering anyone who touches his bracelets, and finally, Martin Scorsese remembering that time Leo and his boys dumped pig’s blood all over Jonah Hill at the prom.

Damn, two days in a row with Jonah Hill slams? Here, redouche your memory. Now, let the hate flow through you,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

superficial

  1. Connor Cruise Fat Gut Mesh Shorts Argyle Socks
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    See, this is what happens when dad is too busy filming another shitty Mission Impossible sequel to tell you to get your ass off the couch and stop smoking weed all day.

  2. The Rock Rescuing Cat From Tree Got Milk Ad
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thanks for getting my cat. Now put on some real pants and get that bird shit off your lip.”

  3. Olivia Munn Legs Miniskirt Armani One Night Only Fashion Show
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    For some reason, I just got the urge to eat Chinese tonight.

  4. Alec Baldwin Kissing James Toback Seduced And Abandoned Premiere
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s so nice that they can get married now.

  5. Ronan Farrow 50 Cent Madison Square Garden Transformation Unveiling
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Try to guess which one of these two can actually sing.

  6. Rumer Willis Butt Minidress Wedgie
    Doosh
    Commented on this photo:

    There are NFL linebackers who would kill for shoulders like that.

  7. Shiva Ayyadurai Fran Drescher Nipples No Bra Saggy Breasts
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    See, jews and terrorists can get along!

  8. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Minidress Mario Lopez Extra
    Some Black Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s exactly what I would do. go in for a taste. And here I thought the man was gay.

  9. Nicole Richie Cleavage Cat Ears Who What Wear And Cadillac 50 Most Stylish Stars Of 2013 Event
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    The real Catwoman had less fleas.

  10. Rumer Willis Butt Minidress Wedgie
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    She had her skin bleached to blind you if you tried to look at her body.

  11. Rosie ODonnell National Womens History Museum Honor
    Commented on this photo:

    The women’s history museum has found a direct link between Rosie and neanderthal man just by observing her behavior.

  12. Leonardo DiCaprio Martin Scorsese Bent Over Laughing Armani One Night Only Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come on Leo. Make the streets move for me like they did in Inception!”

  13. Aaron Paul Smelling Candle Knit Hat
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey. Hey! This don’t exactly smell like vanilla, yo!”

  14. Ronan Farrow 50 Cent Madison Square Garden Transformation Unveiling
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    And another “gangsta” from the hood is lost to hanging with gay people at red carpet events…

  15. Johnny Depp Blonde Hair Amber Heard
    Commented on this photo:

    My guess is that Tim Burton has signed Johnny Depp to play Tilda Swinton for some reason.

  16. Joe Jonas Purple Plaid Suit Blanda Eggenschwiler Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll have a fund raiser, my motto will be”Africa – Make it the new Australia”

  17. Ali Larter Nipples No Bra See Through Dress White Powder On Nose Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess cocaine needs to come with directions for usage.

  18. Johnny Depp Blonde Hair Amber Heard
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF he looks like Christopher Walken.

  19. Leonardo DiCaprio Martin Scorsese Bent Over Laughing Armani One Night Only Fashion Show
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    MS: “You see the woman in the gutter? Do … do you see the woman in the gutter?”

    LD: “Yeah.”

    MS: “You see the woman. I don’t want you to see that woman because that’s my wife. That’s not my gutter.”

  20. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Minidress Mario Lopez Extra
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Jon Hamm is where?

    - Maria/Mario

  21. Cara Santana Cleavage Engagement Ring Who What Wear And Cadillac 50 Most Stylish Stars Of 2013 Event
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Her breasts seem a little sleepy. There are undergarments that can reliably help with this problem.

  22. Shiva Ayyadurai Fran Drescher Nipples No Bra Saggy Breasts
    Commented on this photo:

    “So… Have you given any thought to buying a sports bra and pulling up your pants?”

  23. Ali Larter Nipples No Bra See Through Dress White Powder On Nose Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    The Rock? Really?
    Commented on this photo:

    Cocaine = Nice, erect nipples. How come noone sent Lindsay the memo?

  24. Shiva Ayyadurai Fran Drescher Nipples No Bra Saggy Breasts
    byron821
    Commented on this photo:

    Nanny “not so fine” anymore

  25. Brandi Glanville Butt Drunk Panty Flash Upskirt
    Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    From that self-satisfied smile we can only infer that her first trick of the night was a resounding success.

  26. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Dress Kanye West Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does everybody keep calling me Beyoncé ?

  27. Nicole Richie Cleavage Cat Ears Who What Wear And Cadillac 50 Most Stylish Stars Of 2013 Event
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here right before she dove headfirst into the trough of cocaine so thoughtfully set out by the event coordinators.

  28. Rumer Willis Butt Minidress Wedgie
    byron821
    Commented on this photo:

    Carrot Top in a dress???

  29. Rumer Willis Butt Minidress Wedgie
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a good thing she’s rich and well connected. She needs all the help she can get. Her ordinariness is overwhelming.

  30. Joe Jonas Purple Plaid Suit Blanda Eggenschwiler Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh great…that waiter wants a tip.”
    “I got this!” *unzips pants*

  31. Kobe Bryant Hand On Lion Cage Turkish Airlines Commercial
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    “Isn’t it cruel to keep Shaq in there?”

  32. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Dress Kanye West Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did you know you struck oil a few steps back with those heels?”

  33. Rosie ODonnell National Womens History Museum Honor
    Commented on this photo:

    Get it? I’m doing funny stuff, cuz I’m funny!!

  34. Shiva Ayyadurai Fran Drescher Nipples No Bra Saggy Breasts
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure it’s true love.
    Of money.

  35. Joe Jonas Purple Plaid Suit Blanda Eggenschwiler Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured; Heroin.

  36. Rumer Willis Butt Minidress Wedgie
    Commented on this photo:

    Rumer doesn’t have it.

  37. Nicole Richie Cleavage Cat Ears Who What Wear And Cadillac 50 Most Stylish Stars Of 2013 Event
    Pepper's Pot
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m not sure what’s offending me more… the underboob implant scar, the gaping hole between her boobs, or the armpit vagina? also, there are cat ears. she’s wearing lace eat ears.

  38. Aaron Paul Smelling Candle Knit Hat
    The Bomb Cliche
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s still in character. What an actor!

  39. Joe Jonas Purple Plaid Suit Blanda Eggenschwiler Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    bob
    Commented on this photo:

    It his life and all but could he have found an uglier girlfriend? I guess they heroin is clouding his judgement.

  40. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Dress Kanye West Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    The Bomb Cliche
    Commented on this photo:

    - Damn, your ass is huge!
    - My ass is cute?

  41. The Rock Rescuing Cat From Tree Got Milk Ad
    The Bomb Cliche8
    Commented on this photo:

    Times are tough. Even Mr. Clean must get a second job.

  42. Rosie ODonnell National Womens History Museum Honor
    The Bomb Cliche
    Commented on this photo:

    Male gorillas establish their territory through ritualistic posturing. Just remain calm and don’t look in their eyes.

  43. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Minidress Mario Lopez Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Get your arse out of the way. I’m trying to get a gander at that fellow’s cockerson.

  44. Eva Longoria Cleavage Jamie Foxx Canon Project Imaginat10n Global Premiere
    kravdan
    Commented on this photo:

    Does his hairline start at the back of his head? Jamie, you sir are bald. Just shave it.

  45. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Minidress Mario Lopez Extra
    Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    “What did you say? Lawrence Kasdan is writing Episode VII now? Suuuweeeet!”

  46. Olivia Munn Legs Miniskirt Armani One Night Only Fashion Show
    crb
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s black and white and red all over?

    -I don’t know, but Olivia Munn’s a big fat whore.

  47. Joe Jonas Purple Plaid Suit Blanda Eggenschwiler Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    The Bomb Cliche
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does it look like they are both about to show their junk to the world? Is this what they do now instead of RSVP?

  48. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Dress Kanye West Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    *clears throat, picks up pointer* Now here, students, we see, in their natural environment, the society ‘gala,’ a breeding pair of Famewhori Gigantici. See here how the submissive male, or ‘pussy,’ in muted colors, steps softly and keeps his head down, to signify his reluctant but certain dependence on the dominant female, or ‘cow.’ She for her part, confident in his subordination, ignores him, alertly scanning for the paparazzi upon whom Famewhori are symbiotically dependent, her bright color, ample bosom, and colossal buttocks intended to draw their eyes. Famewhori were once relatively rare in North America, but cultural climate change has allowed them to spread to most corners of popular media. *unknots bowtie, takes early retirement*

  49. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Minidress Mario Lopez Extra
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Mario…. your trying to hard…. seriously.

  50. Ali Larter Nipples No Bra See Through Dress White Powder On Nose Dream For Future Africa Foundation Inaugural Gala
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Target locked on… activating cocaine particle beam…

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