Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where your caption skills get put to the ultimate test as you come up with the gay porn parody title of ‘The Cat In The Hat’. We’ve also got Gerard Butler spotting a port-a-potty right across the street, the only reaction not punishable by death to His Royal Flatulence and finally, does Tyler Perry have to do everything in drag now?
I’ll start things off for you guys — One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Butt Sex — GO!
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Drugs are bad, m’kay?
Holy crap, I was invited to this and didn’t go. Why the eff wouldn’t they mention she was going?!?! DAMMIT.
Why would you not go to a private Johnnie Walker tasting anyway?!
He has every reason to smile at all times. The man has has so much pussy in his lifetime. More pussy than an one man should ever have.
Nice.
His durability is impressive.
The Private Whiskey Tasting was quickly shut down after Christina offered to let the other guests drink whiskey from her bra cups, and everyone got so shit-faced they couldn’t walk…
Dude has got nice chesticles.
I have a very particular set of skills… Most people think it has something to do with breasts, but no, I can set a shower at the perfect temperature the first time EVERY TIME!
Ermahgerd! It’s Mergnam!
Wow those free clothes from project runway don’t seem like such a good idea any more.
Boy Meets Nuts
What the Mad Hatter would look like if Lewis Carroll was meth head.
Scat in my Hat
The Whore-ax
Oh the People You’ll Blow!
Goddammit. You win.
Squirtle my Turtle
Hop, Hop, Hop, Hop, Hop on Pop
Patrick McDonald will you please blow now!
The Spoo-Belly Screeches..
She’s fucking beautiful. Majorly underrated hottie.
What the Fox!?!
The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Pluggins
One Fist, Two Fist, Red Fist, Blue Balls
Pop on Pop
Cocks in Fox
I Had Trouble in Getting Solla to Swallow
Peen Eggs and (Butt)Slams
Mary-Kate just spotted someone in the crowd that she wants to murder and I just popped a boner for Mary-Kate.
Who says cocaine is bad for you?
Is she wearing Chris Christie’s pants?
If I could afford her hourly rate, I totally would.
That could use some work, actually.
Ugh, I stuck around for this? She is so fake it’s a turnoff.
She is the OTHER pamela anderson.
Christina unveils her new custom label, “Johnnie Walker Titsky Whiskey.”
You can barely see Waylon Flowers working that arm!
Thank god she finally got the older one a fucking haircut.
She only cut the older one’s hair because she a new one to hippyfy.
She’s trying way too hard.
“HAHAHAHA! Jolly Good! Now get me away from these negroes please.”
Looks like is turban is coming unwound.
Understandably, the photographer was more interested in Alessandra than the bra.
Elizabeth Berkley has mummified nicely.
Just saw a Basilisk. And by Basilisk I mean Jon Hamm’s penis.
Hahahahaha! I wasn’t with Prince William and his black friends but I thought I’d join in as well…
When consuming alcohol, hydration is important. This is just responsible drinking, folks – 2 small shots, followed by 2 big jugs.
Now how about you stand in front of me and I’ll teach you these skills I have?
Earl finally let him have the mustache.
Hahahahaha! Yes my black friends, darn good one! What a jolly good, bangin’ time what! Now excuse me I need to go holla at my grams. Yes, yes, I am quite down with you fellows and whatnot.
No, I’M anorexic. She’s the one that killed Heath. Get it right.
Needs more Enrico Pollazo.
In this scene, they’re gonna grab ya and TAKE ya! LIke this! See?
Keef. The clock may be broken, but he takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
Tyra just heard Halle Berry and Sarah Palin were related.
“Full Figure this MOFO”
Moley moley moley moley!
That’s her “O” face.
Healthy loaves.
Holla! What! Okaaay!
This ‘Just Saw That Jon Hamm Photo’ filter on Instagram just doesn’t do it for me.
Shoo kid, shoo, you’re standing in the way of me and penis.
Damn, Alex Karras isn’t even cold yet and they already have his movie going?!
Guy was crushed when he found out “Bergdorf Goodman” was not a Harry Potter character.
The Katy Perry method (TM) has taken off worldwide.