The Crap We Missed – Friday 1.31.14

January 31st, 2014 // 398 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which is full of exciting Super Bowl NON-SPECIFIC SPORTING EVENT sideshows like this 90′s rapper you forgot about rapping or this other 90′s rapper performing all those songs you loved but when you listen to now sound really, really stupid. And don’t forget 90′s person Alyssa Milano who still has breasts, making her barely relevant enough to earn a nominal fee to walk a red carpet with a product name attached to it, and all because FOOTBALL. That pure, completely untainted beacon of American idealism that’s never once let anybody down.

One of our nation’s largest industries — not to mention favorite past time — is built on a foundation of swept under the rug rape. Enjoy the big game!!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Scarlett Johansson Black Widow Poster
    Commented on this photo:

    I want this poster and the Sarah Silverman poster from A Million Ways to Die in the West to make out.

  2. Gerard Butler Red Face
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Those five forgettable minutes with Brandi Glanville are coming back to haunt him.

  3. Flo Rida Being Fed Popchips PC Richard & Son Big Game Kick Off Party
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    wow thats a tuff one

  4. Helen Mirren Twerking 2014 Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year
    Commented on this photo:

    First time I’ve found a twerking picture hot.

  5. Flo Rida Being Fed Popchips PC Richard & Son Big Game Kick Off Party
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Body of Christ™ Original, Mesquite and new Red-Hot Habanero.

  6. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Bikini Instagram
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    How long will her 15 minutes last?

  7. Alanis Morissette Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Dave Grohl shaved?

  8. Gerard Butler Red Face
    Lord Helmet
    Commented on this photo:

    Gerard was fighting his demons. He was fighting. Then he walked by a store with a huge ‘Sale’ sign just as his medication stopped working.

  9. Jennifer Tilly Cleavage Forehead Vein Haney Launch Party With Net A Porter
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the painting from the basement has been destroyed.

  10. Madonna Muscular Arms
    penis
    Commented on this photo:

    how much for the little one?

  11. Alanis Morissette Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is God aging?

  12. Jennifer Tilly Cleavage Forehead Vein Haney Launch Party With Net A Porter
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d still poker.

  13. Madonna Muscular Arms
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    did you eat the apple mommy gave you?
    alright, now get into the trunk.

  14. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants Ribbon Workout Instagram
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a purple rope instead of a purple crayon, but she likes riding it nonetheless.

  15. Helen Mirren Twerking 2014 Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Your move, Judi Dench.”

  16. Terrell Owens Crazy Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    Getting his Tyrone Biggums on.

  17. Kat Von D Eating
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone bet her she couldn’t get uglier, and she goes and has plastic surgery just to win the bet. Well played.

  18. Kat Von D Eating
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    thats pretty fucked up right there.
    its like a piece of tree or a ceramic plate.

  19. Jessica Simpson Wearing Mexican Blanket LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    “HAHAHAHA she said ‘excuse me Mr. black man,’ oh shit.”

  20. Alyssa Milano Cleavage Crazy Face Super Bowl Fashion Event
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    booobs

  21. Joanna Krupa Tight Spandex Minidress Legs Pacha Club Opening
    Lord Helmet
    Commented on this photo:

    Joanna had a Two-finger rule and was not afraid to tell everyone at the party. After all, she didn’t put on that dress for nothing!

  22. Jude Law Noel Coward Theatre Signing Autographs
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like he’s about to just roundhouse kick all of them.

  23. Hannah Davis Legs Leather Minidress Sports Illustrated MVP Night
    Lord Helmet
    Commented on this photo:

    Now I understand why Joseph Simmons looked like a pimp.

  24. Helen Mirren Twerking 2014 Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    Take that, Miley Virus!!

  25. Flo Rida Being Fed Popchips PC Richard & Son Big Game Kick Off Party
    Lord Helmet
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonder which one has the most roofie in it.

  26. Scarlett Johansson Black Widow Poster
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    You mean promotional materials for comic book properties, and just comics in general, don’t deal in realistic portrayals of the female form?!

  27. Joseph Run Simmons Fur Coat Bud Light Madden Bowl
    Commented on this photo:

    Run for some Donuts MC

  28. Jennifer Tilly Cleavage Forehead Vein Haney Launch Party With Net A Porter
    Commented on this photo:

    More like “Bride of Chuck E. Cheese.”

  29. Rozonda Chilli Thomas Bra Ripped Abs Open Jumpsuit TLC Performance VH1 Super Bowl Blitz Six Nights And Six Concerts
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa her abs have gone all old lady on us.

  30. Joanna Krupa Tight Spandex Minidress Legs Pacha Club Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    As your agent, Mrs. Krupa, my professional opinion is you sign the new contract. You’ll notice a 10% reduction in salary, but a full 2% of net on the back end, plus 5% of net in foreign and satellite markets. Your thoughts?

    Dis how chicken make egg. Uuuunnnngggggghhhh.

    What?

    Ungh.

  31. Alyssa Milano Cleavage Crazy Face Super Bowl Fashion Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ gave us doggie style just for girls like this.

  32. Terrell Owens Crazy Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s who stole my kid’s clothes.

  33. Gerard Butler Red Face
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    “Spartans! Bring forth the aloe vera!”

  34. Gerard Butler Red Face
    Commented on this photo:

    wow!

  35. Joanna Krupa Tight Spandex Minidress Legs Pacha Club Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to sleep with her

  36. Helen Mirren Twerking 2014 Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year
    Commented on this photo:

    Don?

  37. Jennifer Tilly Cleavage Forehead Vein Haney Launch Party With Net A Porter
    Commented on this photo:

    Jennifer Tilly, meet The Wall.

  38. Terrell Owens Crazy Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s turned to male prostitution

  39. Joseph Run Simmons Fur Coat Bud Light Madden Bowl
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s got Joe Mayo’s coat!

  40. Kendra Wilkinson No Makeup Baby Bump Hank Baskett LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Now, more than ever, I’m convinced that Playboy Photoshops it’s models. Goddamn.

    • She went from banging a crusty old fossil, to being one.

    • MarketingMike

      Kendra was NEVER a model in Playboy, she was his girlfriend.
      Big difference. Except for Barbi Benton (and Hef’s latest wife)
      his “girlfriends” have never been good enough for his spreads.
      Sure, If you go back and look Hef gave the 3 girlfriends a couple
      of “mercy” shoots, but never as models. Now you know why.

      • Er, I beg to differ. Marston’s mom was IIRC a PMOY. Additionally, Sondra Theodore was also one of Hefner’s squeezes and she also was a Playmate.
        Good God, I need to get a life.

  41. Kelly Ripa Michael Strahan Legends For Charity Event
    Monsignor Nelson
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tell Sapp to go fuck himself.”
    “What you shaid, shister!”

  42. Gerard Butler Red Face
    Commented on this photo:

    maybe he went down on Catherine Zeta Jones

  43. Kelly Ripa Michael Strahan Legends For Charity Event
    Monsignor Nelson
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tell Sapp to go fuck himself.”
    “What you shaid, shishter!”

  44. Kendra Wilkinson No Makeup Baby Bump Hank Baskett LAX
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Kendra Wilkinson saw that Hank did there.

  45. Scarlett Johansson Black Widow Poster
    Commented on this photo:

    The only part of this picture that’s real is the face.

  46. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants Ribbon Workout Instagram
    Michael_D
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Oscorp finally figured out the right formula…

  47. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants Ribbon Workout Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    think. these were the best pictures.

  48. Helen Mirren Twerking 2014 Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry but Helen Mirren rules. Got nothing snarky to say about her.

  49. Gerard Butler Red Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn. He’s shit-faced.

  50. Rozonda Chilli Thomas Bra Ripped Abs Open Jumpsuit TLC Performance VH1 Super Bowl Blitz Six Nights And Six Concerts
    Commented on this photo:

    this year may be the year for zipping that up.

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