The Crap We Missed – Friday 1.31.14

January 31st, 2014 // 398 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which is full of exciting Super Bowl NON-SPECIFIC SPORTING EVENT sideshows like this 90′s rapper you forgot about rapping or this other 90′s rapper performing all those songs you loved but when you listen to now sound really, really stupid. And don’t forget 90′s person Alyssa Milano who still has breasts, making her barely relevant enough to earn a nominal fee to walk a red carpet with a product name attached to it, and all because FOOTBALL. That pure, completely untainted beacon of American idealism that’s never once let anybody down.

One of our nation’s largest industries — not to mention favorite past time — is built on a foundation of swept under the rug rape. Enjoy the big game!!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Selita Ebanks Cleavage David Spade Scarf KWL 4th Annual Sports And Entertainment Celebration Honoring NFLs Rising Stars Colin Kaepernick And Robin Quinn
    Blanch
    Commented on this photo:

    I think we may have found the missing link

  2. Scott Disick Lust Hat Backwards Putting Son Mason In Car Seat
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my God… no.

    Ageless Jennifer Tilly finally aged. Dammit.

  3. Jennifer Tilly Cleavage Forehead Vein Haney Launch Party With Net A Porter
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my God… no.

    Ageless Jennifer Tilly finally aged. Dammit.

  4. Selita Ebanks Cleavage David Spade Scarf KWL 4th Annual Sports And Entertainment Celebration Honoring NFLs Rising Stars Colin Kaepernick And Robin Quinn
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Lucifer:
    I am willing to sign the same contract David Spade signed. Have your attorney call my attorney.

    • penis

      perfecto

    • Lucifer

      My ‘Attorney’?

      I invented attorneys.

      I am the Ur-Alpha-Omega-Hawking-Cooper-Boson-Attorney-of-All-Attorneys.

      Regardless, Word Doc is on the way, sent from my AOL acct. Initial A, D, F, and sign on page 4; -in blood [your own, not somebody else's], obvs.

    • Fool. David Spade *is* Lucifer.

      Come on, you already knew this.

      Gentlemen–
      And I use that word loosely–
      I can get you any results you like.
      What’s it worth to you?
      Because there is no wrong,
      there is no right,
      and I sleep very well at night.

    • I don’t buy that they’re actually together. That look on her face is one of those “I’ll pose with him to be polite, and I’ll try to make it look good because that’s the kind of girl I am” expressions.

  5. Pamela Anderson Rick Salomon Sweatshorts Work Boots
    Ima
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is Madge with Herpes Hiltons ex?

  6. Scarlett Johansson Black Widow Poster
    meshuggah Tits
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she blew the Soda Stream factory sky-high.

  7. Hannah Davis Legs Leather Minidress Sports Illustrated MVP Night
    Commented on this photo:

    Perfect throwaway fuck.

  8. Joanna Krupa Tight Spandex Minidress Legs Pacha Club Opening
    Meshuggah Tits
    Commented on this photo:

    How many syllables in “bok-bok,” Joanna?

  9. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants Ribbon Workout Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Always funny watching fat girls attempt something athletic.

  10. Alanis Morissette Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    To his credit, Dave Coulier saw this coming way before I did.

  11. Joseph Run Simmons Fur Coat Bud Light Madden Bowl
    Commented on this photo:

    Waddle DMC

  12. Helen Mirren Twerking 2014 Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year
    Echo5
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah I can tell she’s preparing to receive something.

  13. Jessica Simpson Wearing Mexican Blanket LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a Mexican poncho, or a Sears poncho?

  14. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants Ribbon Workout Instagram
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit first someone put lipstick on the pig. Now the pig is flying.

    I might just have to pay up on all those false promises I’ve made in the past.

  15. Alyssa Milano Cleavage Crazy Face Super Bowl Fashion Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Starting to look like one of the Golden Girls.

  16. Kelly Ripa Michael Strahan Legends For Charity Event
    Commented on this photo:

    they’re banging for sure…

  17. Jessica Simpson Wearing Mexican Blanket LAX
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    That TSA agent just saw an entire roasted chicken in her bag.

  18. Joseph Run Simmons Fur Coat Bud Light Madden Bowl
    Commented on this photo:

    broke down pimp…

  19. Terrell Owens Crazy Clothes
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d have that look on my face too if the airport lost my luggage and gave me loaner clothes.

  20. Scarlett Johansson Black Widow Poster
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember when Black Widow was Russian? Why don’t any of the Marvel heroes used the accent of the country they are supposed to be from? Pisses me off.

    • Lord Helmet

      If that was the biggest problem with Scarlett Johansson playing Black Widow I’d be fine with that compromise.

    • It would’ve been a lot better to have Milla Jovovich or Mila Kunis play Black Widow. They’re actually Russian.

      • Hire this man. Mila…..sigh.

      • Lord Helmet

        Hate to do this Don (really) but they are both Ukrainian. Though Jovovich is half Russian. Russia just occupied the Ukraine for many years and oppressed that culture like so many others. From what I understand telling a Ukrainian that he is Russian is like telling a Chinese that he’s Japanese. They kick you ass for it.

      • Thanks for the correction. I didn’t mean to offend.

      • 123

        Oh, who gives a rat’s ass about ukr! This ‘nation’ is a joke, they have zero achievements (well, except AIDS-ridden prostitutes as its primary export to the West). They should consider themselves lucky if another, much better developed nation takes control over them.

      • A shitload of incredibly beautiful women come from the Ukraine. I think it’s something in the water.

      • Don’t offend Russia by subscribing those Milas to it.
        Hasn’t every ruling country oppressed its smaller nations? Like, every every country?
        Ukraine is NOT Russia, it is far more hopeless.

      • Guys, Guys! Take your political snarking somewhere else – this site is a safe haven for titty- and penis-joke lovers of all creeds, races, political views and sexual orientations. We’re all one big, pervy family.

    • Mike

      Hopefully there’ll be a spin-off where Natasha’s origins are explained.

  21. Gerard Butler Red Face
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    This. Is. S̶p̶a̶r̶t̶a̶!̶ Me having a heart attack!

  22. Jessica Simpson Wearing Mexican Blanket LAX
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    She lost the weight but those Hulk-sized calf muscle won’t go away. They were built by carrying the excess pounds.

  23. Joanna Krupa Tight Spandex Minidress Legs Pacha Club Opening
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    booobs

  24. Joseph Run Simmons Fur Coat Bud Light Madden Bowl
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s an interesting hat Aretha Franklin is wearing.

  25. Alyssa Milano Cleavage Crazy Face Super Bowl Fashion Event
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn…maybe Jay Mohr was onto something…..

  26. Alyssa Milano Cleavage Crazy Face Super Bowl Fashion Event
    Echo5
    Commented on this photo:

    Entering ‘Stiffler’s Mom’ territory in her hot but aged dirtiness.
    But yeah Benya, I can see some Young Blanche in her as well.
    Oh god kill me for not having to look that name up.

  27. Joanna Krupa Tight Spandex Minidress Legs Pacha Club Opening
    penis
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s right joana.
    two.

  28. Kat Von D Eating
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she even still on TV? I’m pretty sure that she’s not even famous for being famous anymore. How about we retire her to the dustbin of history and call it a day?

    • anonymous

      I doubt that her show is still on. She gets engaged to a new dude every season and she hasn’t announced a new fiancee in 6 months.

  29. Jennifer Tilly Cleavage Forehead Vein Haney Launch Party With Net A Porter
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    All right! Whoo hoo! Sing Barracuda!

    What…who?

    …shit…

  30. Jessica Simpson Wearing Mexican Blanket LAX
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Does anyone care why Mike Tyson is crying?

  31. Kendra Wilkinson No Makeup Baby Bump Hank Baskett LAX
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    David Spade switched teams?

  32. Gerard Butler Red Face
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Thankfully, Iron Man was able to neutralize the Extremis virus in Gerard Butler’s bloodstream before he could blow up Rodeo Drive

  33. Anastasia Ashley Sandy Butt Bikini Instagram
    penis
    Commented on this photo:

    nothin like a cold sandy vagina

  34. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants Ribbon Workout Instagram
    JPC
    Commented on this photo:

    That must be some space age fabric, to be able to support that weight.

  35. Busta Rhymes Fat Weight Gain Bud Light Madden Bowl
    Commented on this photo:

    Butter Rhymes

  36. Scarlett Johansson Black Widow Poster
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know what’s coolest–guns, battleships or war planes.

  37. Helen Mirren Twerking 2014 Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    When the pimp’s in the crib ma, Drop it Like It’s Hot…

  38. Kat Von D Eating
    JPC
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she must be having some sort of allergic reaction to the food she’s eating……. oh wait, that’s what her face normally looks like?…Well, god damn.

  39. Helen Mirren Twerking 2014 Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year
    penis
    Commented on this photo:

    some kind of real life freaky friday nightmare with hanah montana.. great.

  40. Busta Rhymes Fat Weight Gain Bud Light Madden Bowl
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    We can now confirm that black clothes, microphones, nor skin are slimming.

  41. Gerard Butler Red Face
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Shitting.

  42. Joanna Krupa Tight Spandex Minidress Legs Pacha Club Opening
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    How many implants, vacuous pig?

  43. Busta Rhymes Fat Weight Gain Bud Light Madden Bowl
    MisterSHO
    Commented on this photo:

    Flip-a-la-Mode Squad

  44. Kat Von D Eating
    Hopalong
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she doing a remake of Alien Nation? Hopefully they can get Scott Caan.

  45. Joseph Run Simmons Fur Coat Bud Light Madden Bowl
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    who’s zip up fur coat??
    run’s zip up fur coat!!

  46. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants Ribbon Workout Instagram
    omgdatass
    Commented on this photo:

    omg datass

  47. Busta Rhymes Fat Weight Gain Bud Light Madden Bowl
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    so this is what jamaican hulk would look like if he ate busta rhymes

  48. Gerard Butler Red Face
    Satan's Right Hand
    Commented on this photo:

    Working on his roll as Thaddeus “The Red Hulk” Ross for the next Avengers film.

  49. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants Ribbon Workout Instagram
    Spleen
    Commented on this photo:

    Gorillas don’t swing from vines.

  50. Marlon Wayans Hobo Clothes Firepit Access Hollywood
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Just like virtually everyone else, Marlon Wayans hates the cold and loves fried chicken.

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