The Crap We Missed – Friday 1.24.14

January 24th, 2014 // 376 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, your lightest selection of the week, but probably the highest butts to coke faces ratio if I’m doing this math correctly. carry the one, divide by the acockocalypse in sweatpants, which leaves a remaind– You know what? I’m not gonna lie, in the only math course I was required to take in college, we did origami, so I’ll just move on. We’ve got Paris Hilton trying out the window dress, which means it’s airborne now, Kirstie Alley and Cedric the Entertainer talking about the new three-cheese stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut, and Rutger Hauer wearing that and doing that, because you’re not cool and neither am I.

I’m sure this face is just Taylor Lautner straining not to get all up on those chicks. He would just love to touch their boobs and butts and then high-five the guys and crack some Buds after,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Michael Richards Laughing Hysterically TV Land TCA Studio Day Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy was brilliant as Kramer, but everything else just makes me cringe.

    • I met Michael Richards outside a movie theatre once. It was a revival theatre that shows old films and we were standing on the sidewalk during the intermission of a double-feature (Lawrence of Arabia and Doctor Zhivago).

      Michael and I and some other cancer-defying outlaws were having a smoke and of course he was recognised. He immediately went into some “act” of bizarre behaviour and jokes. I got the feeling Michael felt it was expected of him.

      Comedians are deeply unhappy people who use those jokes to fend off the demons that gnaw at them. Or something like that.

      He did light my cigarette, however. All men should carry Zippos.

      • i met him once too. He was awesome.

      • Seemed ok until people started wanting him to be Kramer. Kind of reminded of Peter Sellers: at the end, Peter Sellers didn’t exist, just the characters he played.

      • I’ve met 3 of the 4: Michael Richards (outside the movie theatre), Jason Alexander (when he did a two-character play with Peter Falk, “Defiled”), and Julia Louis-Dreyfuss at a party.

        Was supposed to meet Jerry backstage at a comedy club but he left immediately after the set, so the capo de tutti capi escaped me.

        As a consolation, I bumped into Wayne Knight in a grocery store a few months later. Better than Jerry anyway.

      • Son of Flubber

        I met him at the NAACP image award show. Nice guy, until someone interrupted his acceptance speech for funniest stand up act by a has-been racist TV actor.

      • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

        I met him once, too. He held this cross, and was attempting to light it, all the while screaming bloody murder. Didn’t stick around to see who the intended victim was.

  2. Miles Teller Zac Efron Coked Out Heat Game
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened to Miles’ face? It was laced with scars that not even makeup could fully conceal in “The Spectacular Now”.

    He’s a promising actor, much better than Zac Efron but I had a hard time getting past the facial scars…I kept wondering if he went through a plate glass window face-first or something.

  3. Paris Hilton Pubic Bone Window Dress 4th Annual Red Carpet Pre Grammy Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    The Matrix is filming a porn-version sequel?

  4. Jaleel White Annual Trans4m Benefit Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody’s getting Drake’s hand-me-downs!!

  5. Sarah Jessica Parker Sticking Out Tongue New School University Center Grand Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    “I just push this button and a baby’s soul is absorbed directly into my skin. It lasts for almost 24 hours before I….before I, revert.”

  6. Kirstie Alley Cedric the Entertainer Fat Weight Gain TV Land TCA Studio Day Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    Remembrances of Jelly Donuts I Have Had: a two-character play coming soon to a community theatre near you.

  7. Danny Glover Whispering In Michael Madsen Ear Sights Of Death Photo Call
    Commented on this photo:

    “You got that $50 you owe me since you sold Tarantino’s script?”

  8. Miles Teller Zac Efron Coked Out Heat Game
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmm, yes, I CAN feel your prolapsed asshole.

  9. Rutger Hauer Sitting Backwards On Chair Sights Of Death Photo Call
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t BELIEVE…I’ve seen old Dutch men wearing suits made from the seat covers of a ’72 Volkswagen Beetle…I’ve seen hi-top sneakers that look like someone puked on them…all these moments will be lost…in time…like drool in the rain.

  10. Danny Glover Whispering In Michael Madsen Ear Sights Of Death Photo Call
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Michael, I had the most awesome night. These women fed me applesauce, undressed me, and gave me a bath. It was so hot.

    Danny, I think you just described a Nursing Home.

  11. Russell Simmons Shannon Elizabeth 1 OAK Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    The cheque cleared!

  12. Danny Glover Whispering In Michael Madsen Ear Sights Of Death Photo Call
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    attempting the simultaneous vulcan neck pinch.

  13. Miles Teller Zac Efron Coked Out Heat Game
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The photographer’s time would have been much better spent getting a pic of the girl on the upper left

  14. Coco Butt See Through Body Suit Instagram
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    displaying the deluxe edition penis garage.

  15. Paris Hilton Pubic Bone Window Dress 4th Annual Red Carpet Pre Grammy Celebration
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Kind of funny when you think that, on the famewhore scale, Kim K has made her look like a rank amateur.

  16. Catherine Giudici Butt Tight White Jeans Sean Lowe Extra
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    you’re doing it all wrong!

  17. Catherine Giudici Butt Tight White Jeans Sean Lowe Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Ill marry you and sell my soul to a national audience.

  18. Coco Butt See Through Body Suit Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Ice T’s wife – Iceberg sized ass.

  19. Zooey Deschanel Jake Johnson Max Greenfield Lamore Morris Pants Around Ankles New Girl Set
    Commented on this photo:

    her voice causes impotence

  20. Kirstie Alley Cedric the Entertainer Fat Weight Gain TV Land TCA Studio Day Luncheon
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘I used to be hot’
    ‘I used to be funny’
    ‘One of us is lying’

  21. Rutger Hauer Sitting Backwards On Chair Sights Of Death Photo Call
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    QUICK!! MICHAEL DOUGLAS NEEDS SOULS!!

  22. Zahia Dehar Cleavage The Sidaction Gala Dinner
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she’s real…if so, that’s a pretty good rack for someone that slender.

  23. Busta Rhymes Derpface Annual Trans4m Benefit Concert
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    When he moults he turns into a shiny new Michael Jackson.

  24. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Swimsuit Instagram
    JohnnyP
    Commented on this photo:

    At first, I thought this was a ‘found photo’ from a failed ‘Bond Girl’ audition from the 70′s.
    Actually, it still kinda is…

  25. Catherine Giudici Butt Tight White Jeans Sean Lowe Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    [dated "Duck Dynasty" reference, here]

  26. Sophie Turner Butt Swimsuit Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    *crosses fingers* let this be the final 5, let this be the final 5

  27. Michael Richards Laughing Hysterically TV Land TCA Studio Day Luncheon
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    a curious nomination for the office of ambassador to the ministry of silly walks.

  28. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Swimsuit Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    no Joanna Krupa pics? Damn. *pulls shades down, lays on floor*

  29. Michael Richards Laughing Hysterically TV Land TCA Studio Day Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    “KAYNE, MA MAN! Yo, let me get a picture brotha!”

  30. Jaleel White Annual Trans4m Benefit Concert
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    kinda hard to live that shit down i guess.

  31. Zooey Deschanel Jake Johnson Max Greenfield Lamore Morris Pants Around Ankles New Girl Set
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly, the guy in the cowboy hat is the one that farted.

  32. Kirstie Alley Cedric the Entertainer Fat Weight Gain TV Land TCA Studio Day Luncheon
    JohnnyP
    Commented on this photo:

    Cedric: “…and that’s pretty much what my mamma used to make for our breakfast every day”.
    Kristie: “Mmmmm… tell me about the warm biscuits with bacon gravy again…”

  33. Kevin Dillon Dogs In Truck
    Commented on this photo:

    Johnny Drama loves puppies!!! [no joke, just truth]

  34. Russell Simmons Shannon Elizabeth 1 OAK Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    eep – they really ARE a couple?

  35. Taylor Lautner Disgusted By UCLA Cheerleaders
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    the one on the right does kind of make it look like an SNL sketch.

  36. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Swimsuit Instagram
    Meshuggah Tits
    Commented on this photo:

    My first thought when I saw this was “Now she’s going to lose custody of the sextuplets for sure!”

  37. Rutger Hauer Sitting Backwards On Chair Sights Of Death Photo Call
    Commented on this photo:

    BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE!

  38. Coco Butt See Through Body Suit Instagram
    JohnnyP
    Commented on this photo:

    Paisley in 3-D IMAX. Who knew?

  39. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    would clean her nether regions with my tongue.

  40. Coco Butt See Through Body Suit Instagram
    Meshuggah Tits
    Commented on this photo:

    Paisley Pork

  41. Paris Hilton Pubic Bone Window Dress 4th Annual Red Carpet Pre Grammy Celebration
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    I was ready to post a smartass comment, but after all the Kim pictures lately, I was happy to see Paris.

  42. Zahia Dehar Cleavage The Sidaction Gala Dinner
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    the head looks fake.

  43. Taylor Lautner Disgusted By UCLA Cheerleaders
    Commented on this photo:

    “Whoa! Check out that body on Tony Parker!”

  44. Sarah Jessica Parker Sticking Out Tongue New School University Center Grand Opening
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Mmmmm, jewellery by Redpath’.

  45. Taylor Lautner Disgusted By UCLA Cheerleaders
    jack
    Commented on this photo:

    “Um. Excuse me? Your ass is blocking my view. Shake it for someone who gives a shit.”

  46. Busta Rhymes Derpface Annual Trans4m Benefit Concert
    tito
    Commented on this photo:

    busta scale

  47. Miles Teller Zac Efron Coked Out Heat Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “I wish I knew how to quit you.”

  48. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    jack
    Commented on this photo:

    sucks dick for diamonds

  49. Paris Hilton Pubic Bone Window Dress 4th Annual Red Carpet Pre Grammy Celebration
    jack
    Commented on this photo:

    Boldly go where many, many, many men have gone before…..and come back with herpes

  50. Busta Rhymes Derpface Annual Trans4m Benefit Concert
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    i honestly thought this was going to be a bobby brown dui mugshot.
    this guy really let himself go…

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