Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that almost didn’t happen because I just found out that Fish has secretly been my online girlfriend for years. I mean, I get that it’s hilarious to make me think someone wouldn’t be physically repulsed enough by me to maintain a relationship, by why request all those pictures of my peni– Oh, sonofabitch. While I go hug myself crouched on the shower floor, check out Kat Von D looking elegant as always, Russell Brand lining up some weekend companionship and yes, I mean gay bum sex, and finally, 50 Cent just now finding out that his internet girlfriend was this guy the whole time.
“C’mon, two Manti Te’o references? Maybe he got his heartbroken, and plus, FOOTBALL!” – You guys
“Cancer. He lied about his make-believe girlfriend dying of cancer.” – Photo Boy