The Crap We Missed – Friday 1.18.13

January 18th, 2013 // 319 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that almost didn’t happen because I just found out that Fish has secretly been my online girlfriend for years. I mean, I get that it’s hilarious to make me think someone wouldn’t be physically repulsed enough by me to maintain a relationship, by why request all those pictures of my peni– Oh, sonofabitch. While I go hug myself crouched on the shower floor, check out Kat Von D looking elegant as always, Russell Brand lining up some weekend companionship and yes, I mean gay bum sex, and finally, 50 Cent just now finding out that his internet girlfriend was this guy the whole time.

“C’mon, two Manti Te’o references? Maybe he got his heartbroken, and plus, FOOTBALL!” – You guys
“Cancer. He lied about his make-believe girlfriend dying of cancer.” – Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Amber Rose Pregnant Belly Polka Dots Wiz Khalifa
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s surrounded by crosses to keep it contained

  2. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    giantpeepers
    Commented on this photo:

    This Sham-wow story is old news.

  3. Amy Willerton Cleavage Legs Minidress Flight Premiere
    Corner
    Commented on this photo:

    Willerton. *spit*

  4. Kelly Reilly Cleavage Flight Premiere
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    So any skank with tits is hot now ?

  5. Kat Von D Hand Down Back Of Yoga Pants
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she moving or selling cookware on the street?

  6. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    “Um, yeah…I can’t. I have an internet boyfriend…and he’s really, um, terminally ill. It’s super sad.”

  7. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    *insert knee bruise joke here*

  8. 50 Cent 106 &Park
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    “Doo!”

  9. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t worry about those guys with cameras. I just pay them to take pics of me talking to girls.”

  10. Ellen Pompeo Chris Ivory Lakers Game
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Meanwhile, the girl in the front row ain’t half bad.

  11. Bradley Cooper Silver Linings Playbook Premiere Paris
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Starfucker

  12. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sad to think how many little animals had to die to appease this douchebag’s monstrous ego.
    And it looks like shit.

  13. Ellen Pompeo Chris Ivory Lakers Game
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Being a serious sports fan seems like a whole lotta agony and not much joy.

  14. Jay-Z High Tops
    popwilleatitself
    Commented on this photo:

    nouveau riche never changes.

  15. Renee Zellweger Berlin Fashion Week
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit where’s the shoes?

  16. Kat Von D Hand Down Back Of Yoga Pants
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Fembot unit #26947 brunette with bodacious bolt ons AKA “JJ” reporting for duty….what’s your photography pleasure?

  17. Kat Von D Hand Down Back Of Yoga Pants
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    ^ Yah…CWM comments is still twitchy. Dammit.

  18. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Too perfect to be real.
    *sigh*

  19. Bradley Cooper Silver Linings Playbook Premiere Paris
    CptCreep
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Taylor, remember me? I’m the guy who told you to go fuck yourself.

  20. Uma Thurman National Audubon Society Gala
    blerg
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, Courtney love got sober…

  21. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Meg's Attitude
    Commented on this photo:

    Fashion Victim Week maybe? I’d shoot myself before I went out in public looking that much of a douche.

  22. Reese Witherspoon Post Pregnancy Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    MILF. That is all.

  23. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    brodyjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    more like FASHION WEEK

  24. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    brodyjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    a tribe called stressed

  25. Uma Thurman National Audubon Society Gala
    Sunshine
    Commented on this photo:

    The cute guy behind her looks really happy.

  26. Uma Thurman National Audubon Society Gala
    Sunshine
    Commented on this photo:

    THE ONE ON THE LEFT!

  27. Erin Heatherton Cleavage Bra Drinking Water Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, a well-designed set of fake tits really makes the skin shine so bright. That’s why I respect talent such as Gwen Stefani, who has chosen not to “pump it up”, instead relying on honest songwriting and actual singing-on-stage live performances. A rare gem indeed.

  28. Bradley Cooper Silver Linings Playbook Premiere Paris
    mrsbloodyface
    Commented on this photo:

    He’d get alot more dick if he’d take a friggin bath.

  29. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    mrsbloodyface
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess he’ll just walk around that way til the piss dries.

  30. Rose McGowan Nipple No Bra Yoga Pants
    mrsbloodyface
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell happened? That shits just sad.

  31. Selma Blair Nipple No Bra Carrying Son
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, did she give birth to Damien?

  32. Ellen Pompeo Chris Ivory Lakers Game
    mrsbloodyface
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor guy looks like he’s scared shitless and by the looks of her he should be.

  33. Reese Witherspoon Post Pregnancy Belly
    hijkmno
    Commented on this photo:

    nice gunt

  34. 50 Cent 106 &Park
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Do I look like I got safety pins on my head? I got safety pins on my head?

  35. Renee Zellweger Berlin Fashion Week
    mrsbloodyface
    Commented on this photo:

    Now there’s a gal that could use an exorcism.

  36. Amber Rose Pregnant Belly Polka Dots Wiz Khalifa
    mrsbloodyface
    Commented on this photo:

    When’s this chicks due date? She’s got the gestational period of a rhino

  37. Jeremy Renner Sunglasses
    mrsbloodyface
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like somebody’s about to get a “Kick Me!” sign taped to his ass.

  38. Amy Willerton Cleavage Legs Minidress Flight Premiere
    mrsbloodyface
    Commented on this photo:

    Real inconspicuous grampa!

  39. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Lol, that’s about all I can say!

  40. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    lawn
    Commented on this photo:

    Those must feel like granite.

  41. Uma Thurman National Audubon Society Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Meryl looks pretty good in black…

  42. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    “Excellent! My Serpa has arrived. Now pick up all that shit and follow me to the summit!”

  43. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Commented on this photo:

    Ready for Saratoga with the racing goggles, a long shot though as this mare prefers a muddy track….

  44. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is with the shirtless homeless troll to the right?!

  45. Amy Willerton Cleavage Legs Minidress Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Ready for the casting call…

  46. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    It is great that a Real Doll made it to the missed feature…

  47. Kat Von D Hand Down Back Of Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    On the curb, where trash belongs.

  48. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Butter-face

  49. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Cruella de Ville behind her is plotting her death

  50. Bradley Cooper Silver Linings Playbook Premiere Paris
    herewego
    Commented on this photo:

    seriously, right here–>in my mouth.

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