The Crap We Missed – Friday 1.18.13

January 18th, 2013 // 319 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that almost didn’t happen because I just found out that Fish has secretly been my online girlfriend for years. I mean, I get that it’s hilarious to make me think someone wouldn’t be physically repulsed enough by me to maintain a relationship, by why request all those pictures of my peni– Oh, sonofabitch. While I go hug myself crouched on the shower floor, check out Kat Von D looking elegant as always, Russell Brand lining up some weekend companionship and yes, I mean gay bum sex, and finally, 50 Cent just now finding out that his internet girlfriend was this guy the whole time.

“C’mon, two Manti Te’o references? Maybe he got his heartbroken, and plus, FOOTBALL!” – You guys
“Cancer. He lied about his make-believe girlfriend dying of cancer.” – Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ah ha! It was Michael Shannon as the ghost pirate all along, Scoob!”

  2. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    He just keeps getting better and better at making Lindsay Lohan look good!

  3. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s shooting himself swapping clothes with a homeless guy?

  4. 50 Cent 106 &Park
    Commented on this photo:

    “If masturbation’s a sin and someone calls me a jerk-off, does that mean I’m a sin?”

  5. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, I used to be on Saturday Night Live. Ask your parents if you don’t believe me.

  6. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Kanye the Barbarian.

  7. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Commented on this photo:

    I still don’t understand why they put those blinders on them.

  8. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    She got her sexy back very quickly. Kudos.

  9. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    Commented on this photo:

    Check your watch, Russell, your 15 minutes are OVER!

  10. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    farrellthib
    Commented on this photo:

    Axl Rose laughs at how he dresses

  11. Reese Witherspoon Post Pregnancy Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Reese “Forever pregnant” Witherspoon.

  12. Amber Rose Pregnant Belly Polka Dots Wiz Khalifa
    Jill
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a shirt with crosses all over it? Please. The last only thing this chick has ever done was pray to god she wasn’t pregnant, and we can all see how well that worked out for her.

    • Jill

      Damn I need an edit button. That was supposed ot read “The only religious thing this chick has ever done was pray to god she wasn’t pregnant”. I suck.

  13. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    “Frankly David, I’d rather have my dog shit on my boo—What the #$% ?!?”

  14. Ellen Pompeo Chris Ivory Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    That dude in front of them suffers from anxiety attacks that require daily marijuana treatment. Sometimes hourly if it’s a weekend.

  15. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Lady, if you don’t get me the hell away from David Spade, I will have no choice but to piss all over your new boots . . . You were warned.”

  16. Kat Von D Hand Down Back Of Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Digging for buried treasure.

  17. Renee Zellweger Berlin Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Take a good look Jennifer Lawrence.

  18. Rose McGowan Nipple No Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Rose,

    Please go to http://www.thesuperficial.com.

    You’re still relevant there.

    Love,

    Mark

  19. Amy Willerton Cleavage Legs Minidress Flight Premiere
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    Hubba-hubba!

  20. Joe Pesci Fedora Leather Jacket Sungleasses
    Commented on this photo:

    He will literally go get his shine box and shine your shoes now.

  21. Selma Blair Nipple No Bra Carrying Son
    Commented on this photo:

    She could give Jennifer Aniston a run for her money on the permanently erect nipple front. But neither of them can touch Bai Ling.

  22. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he’s just late for Fashion Week Lutetia Parisorum, year 58.

  23. Erin Heatherton Cleavage Bra Drinking Water Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see myself in her tits.

  24. Amber Rose Pregnant Belly Polka Dots Wiz Khalifa
    Commented on this photo:

    They both think they’ll still have careers in ten years. Nobody spoil it. They’re happy. Let them have it.

  25. Jeremy Renner Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    Blimey, it’s Austin Powers!!

  26. Kelly Reilly Cleavage Flight Premiere
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Kelly Relly? She couldn’t come up with anything better?

  27. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    Ever have your asshole licked by a short guy in brown sweatpants?

  28. 50 Cent 106 &Park
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, as many of you know, there is a lot of controversy surrounding so-called “String Theory” in particular, and quantum physics in general. But here are my thoughts….

  29. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Mason Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    $10 says that kid’s nanny hangs herself at one of his birthday parties.

  30. Kat Von D Hand Down Back Of Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    The crabs have migrated to her ass for the winter.

  31. 50 Cent 106 &Park
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    - Ok, Fifty: If you buy two items from a dollar store and you get 50% off on the second item how much do you save?
    - Ummm… shit! Could you give me a hint?

  32. Jeremy Renner Sunglasses
    Eman
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t remember the part in Ray where he birthed a Martin Sheen love-child

  33. Kat Von D Hand Down Back Of Yoga Pants
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Let’s see, where did I leave my self-esteem . . . There it is!”

  34. 50 Cent 106 &Park
    Aziz
    Commented on this photo:

    Why ain’t this grapefruit soda purple?

  35. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    Almost gave up on her but my dick told me to give her more time. I’m glad I always listen to him. Kudos Hilary. Now, don’t go Simpson on us and get knocked up again soon.

  36. Bradley Cooper Silver Linings Playbook Premiere Paris
    GJerk
    Commented on this photo:

    Here, let me breathe in your face.

  37. Joe Pesci Fedora Leather Jacket Sungleasses
    John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    looks good….lost some weight there

  38. Salma Hayek Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Salma, 1995 called; it wants its wardrobe back.

  39. Salma Hayek Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    lawdy LAWD. she makes 99.999999% of the fake hollywood tarts in their 20′s look like the garbage they are.

  40. Jeremy Renner Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure this is from that Liberace biopic Steven Soderbergh is making…what’s that? Renner isn’t in that movie? That’s impossible. How else do you explain this picture?

  41. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    Commented on this photo:

    this doesn’t help the stereotype that fat ugly white bitches can only land black dudes. way to help out, Wiz.

  42. Amber Rose Pregnant Belly Polka Dots Wiz Khalifa
    Commented on this photo:

    HEY FISH, YOUR SITE IS FUCKING GARBAGE. twice today my comment switches back to a different picture.

    dude, just take the fucker down if it doesn’t work, or tell your buddies who run the servers they’re FIRED. GARBAGE.

  43. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Cool bolt-ons

  44. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Sporting the latest from the 2013 Douche Collection…

  45. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does he always look like he has the lower torso size of a Dinklage and the upper body of a regular human?

  46. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one is Brand…?

  47. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    The dog is having the same reaction I have whenever I see David Spade.

  48. Amber Rose Pregnant Belly Polka Dots Wiz Khalifa
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t this just a shot of two crackheads from season 2 of The Shield?

  49. Sarah Jessica Parker
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Part of your caption got cut off. I am pretty sure it’s supposed to say: “Sarah Jessica Parker’s weird Uncle Ken, in New York City.”

  50. Uma Thurman National Audubon Society Gala
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    SPLASH HIM RED PAINT, PETA!!! Come on…where are you when we need you!?

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