Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that almost didn’t happen because I just found out that Fish has secretly been my online girlfriend for years. I mean, I get that it’s hilarious to make me think someone wouldn’t be physically repulsed enough by me to maintain a relationship, by why request all those pictures of my peni– Oh, sonofabitch. While I go hug myself crouched on the shower floor, check out Kat Von D looking elegant as always, Russell Brand lining up some weekend companionship and yes, I mean gay bum sex, and finally, 50 Cent just now finding out that his internet girlfriend was this guy the whole time.
“C’mon, two Manti Te’o references? Maybe he got his heartbroken, and plus, FOOTBALL!” – You guys
“Cancer. He lied about his make-believe girlfriend dying of cancer.” – Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Kim Kardashian just went… ahh, who cares what she thinks.
WHO?
I think she’s the one who sleeps with Magic Mike.
correct
yes
Yep. The epitome of style, that one.
Apparently she is using Nichole Kidman’s plastic surgeon now.
“The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge.”
Invisible bit.
That kid looks like a fucking brat already!
He looks like a tiny terrorist!
His head is so giant and his body is so tiny… He looks like a bobble head.
its’ returning…..oh yes….it’s returning
What, no chianti?!
She’s physical perfection.
She goes all the way to 11
She’s a 10 who swallows?
And she feeds random starving kids in Africa with her momma boobs.
Is it considered bestiality when Matthew Broderick bangs her?
No, just revolting.
That chemical peel didn’t help Samantha Ronson at all.
A very nice picture of Hilary “I-want-to-kiss-her-right-on-the” Duff.
“I’ll do you, my pretty! And your little dog, too!”
You are a funny guy!
Her automatic response when she hears flashing is to open her mouth for the money shot that’s coming.
Don’t let the bed bugs bite!
That’s no way to act towards one another on the Kiss Cam.
I’m down with the cleavage, but what’s up with the steampunk glasses?
Kneel before Zod!
She’s awesome.
Her kid is like 38 years old, but tiny.
Nice ass.
I wondered what happened to Adam Bomb after his WWE career.
*applause*
Based on her expression after 5 minutes with Spade even a mildly average looking guy driving by in a used Civic can look good.
Yosemite Sam looks a lot douchier than I remember.
Dear DeadMau5,
She’s all yours. Congrats on the upcoming nuptials.
-I.
Liam Neeson?
Ooh, shiny!
Why do I get the feeling that I have to Google her name every time she’s on the site, because I completely forget between appearances who she is and what she’s famous for? And then I inevitably end up saying to myself, “Oh yeah… tits.”
I don’t know who she is, but she’s definitely got my attention now.
Uh-oh… someone check JLH’s closet for a missing red bandage dress.
I would say that chick’s out of his league, but his track record speaks for itself.
David, how many times must I tell you. “I see your dog has fleas. You know I play a flea in my next movie.” is not a good pick up line!
She reminds me of Peter Boyle with his thumb on fire in Young Frankenstein.
But I was going to make espresso!
“Nigga, please. Socrates simply points out the contradiction between the two groups of accusers: he can’t be an atheist and at the same time believe in false gods.”
Stay sexy, Rose. You face may be frozen, but that doesn’t mean you should let your body go to shit.
She’s still alive? And just as squinty as ever.
Do I look like a clown to you?
So this is what moving at the speed of “2 shakes of a lamb’s tail” looks like.
Note to Jennifer Lawrence: If she offers you an apple, DO NOT eat it.
It’s so nice of Wiz to help that blind lady cross the street.
Ellen just realized the camera was focusing on the brunette in front of them.
How did Seth Green get so greasy?
K.D. Lang’s put on a little weight.
The homeless guy on the right later offered him some change.
Very nice.