The Crap We Missed – Friday 1.18.13

January 18th, 2013 // 319 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that almost didn’t happen because I just found out that Fish has secretly been my online girlfriend for years. I mean, I get that it’s hilarious to make me think someone wouldn’t be physically repulsed enough by me to maintain a relationship, by why request all those pictures of my peni– Oh, sonofabitch. While I go hug myself crouched on the shower floor, check out Kat Von D looking elegant as always, Russell Brand lining up some weekend companionship and yes, I mean gay bum sex, and finally, 50 Cent just now finding out that his internet girlfriend was this guy the whole time.

“C’mon, two Manti Te’o references? Maybe he got his heartbroken, and plus, FOOTBALL!” – You guys
“Cancer. He lied about his make-believe girlfriend dying of cancer.” – Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Salma Hayek Butt Tight Jeans
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Kardashian just went… ahh, who cares what she thinks.

  2. Jenna Dewan Butt Yoga Pants
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    WHO?

  3. Amy Willerton Cleavage Legs Minidress Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    yes

  4. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep. The epitome of style, that one.

  5. Renee Zellweger Berlin Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently she is using Nichole Kidman’s plastic surgeon now.

  6. 50 Cent 106 &Park
    Commented on this photo:

    “The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge.”

  7. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Commented on this photo:

    Invisible bit.

  8. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Mason Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    That kid looks like a fucking brat already!

  9. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    kravdan
    Commented on this photo:

    His head is so giant and his body is so tiny… He looks like a bobble head.

  10. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    its’ returning…..oh yes….it’s returning

  11. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    What, no chianti?!

  12. Salma Hayek Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s physical perfection.

  13. Sarah Jessica Parker
    kravdan
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it considered bestiality when Matthew Broderick bangs her?

  14. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    That chemical peel didn’t help Samantha Ronson at all.

  15. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    A very nice picture of Hilary “I-want-to-kiss-her-right-on-the” Duff.

  16. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll do you, my pretty! And your little dog, too!”

  17. Joe Pesci Fedora Leather Jacket Sungleasses
    kravdan
    Commented on this photo:

    You are a funny guy!

  18. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Her automatic response when she hears flashing is to open her mouth for the money shot that’s coming.

  19. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    elephantman
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t let the bed bugs bite!

  20. Ellen Pompeo Chris Ivory Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s no way to act towards one another on the Kiss Cam.

  21. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Mason Disick
    kravdan
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m down with the cleavage, but what’s up with the steampunk glasses?

  22. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    Kneel before Zod!

  23. Uma Thurman National Audubon Society Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s awesome.

  24. Selma Blair Nipple No Bra Carrying Son
    Commented on this photo:

    Her kid is like 38 years old, but tiny.

  25. Jenna Dewan Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ass.

  26. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Mason Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    I wondered what happened to Adam Bomb after his WWE career.

  27. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    *applause*

  28. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    Based on her expression after 5 minutes with Spade even a mildly average looking guy driving by in a used Civic can look good.

  29. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    Commented on this photo:

    Yosemite Sam looks a lot douchier than I remember.

  30. Kat Von D Hand Down Back Of Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear DeadMau5,

    She’s all yours. Congrats on the upcoming nuptials.

    -I.

  31. Jeremy Renner Sunglasses
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    Liam Neeson?

  32. Erin Heatherton Cleavage Bra Drinking Water Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooh, shiny!

  33. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do I get the feeling that I have to Google her name every time she’s on the site, because I completely forget between appearances who she is and what she’s famous for? And then I inevitably end up saying to myself, “Oh yeah… tits.”

  34. Kelly Reilly Cleavage Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who she is, but she’s definitely got my attention now.

  35. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh-oh… someone check JLH’s closet for a missing red bandage dress.

  36. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    I would say that chick’s out of his league, but his track record speaks for itself.

  37. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    David, how many times must I tell you. “I see your dog has fleas. You know I play a flea in my next movie.” is not a good pick up line!

  38. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She reminds me of Peter Boyle with his thumb on fire in Young Frankenstein.

  39. 50 Cent 106 &Park
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nigga, please. Socrates simply points out the contradiction between the two groups of accusers: he can’t be an atheist and at the same time believe in false gods.”

  40. Rose McGowan Nipple No Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Stay sexy, Rose. You face may be frozen, but that doesn’t mean you should let your body go to shit.

  41. Renee Zellweger Berlin Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s still alive? And just as squinty as ever.

  42. Joe Pesci Fedora Leather Jacket Sungleasses
    Commented on this photo:

    Do I look like a clown to you?

  43. Uma Thurman National Audubon Society Gala
    Jill
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is what moving at the speed of “2 shakes of a lamb’s tail” looks like.

  44. Uma Thurman National Audubon Society Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Note to Jennifer Lawrence: If she offers you an apple, DO NOT eat it.

  45. Amber Rose Pregnant Belly Polka Dots Wiz Khalifa
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s so nice of Wiz to help that blind lady cross the street.

  46. Ellen Pompeo Chris Ivory Lakers Game
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    Ellen just realized the camera was focusing on the brunette in front of them.

  47. Bradley Cooper Silver Linings Playbook Premiere Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    How did Seth Green get so greasy?

  48. Jeremy Renner Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    K.D. Lang’s put on a little weight.

  49. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    Commented on this photo:

    The homeless guy on the right later offered him some change.

  50. Amy Willerton Cleavage Legs Minidress Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Very nice.

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