The Crap We Missed – Friday 1.13.17

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring culturally sensitive Vin Diesel who stars exclusively in movies about characters who travel the globe assassinating citizens of sovereign countries and get away with it, because America is kick ass. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who ate a bicyclist for breakfast yesterday, Justin Bieber signalling to the other prisoners that his ass is available, and Woody Allen signing a baseball, because if you’re not aware, the people who wait outside entertainment venues for celebrity autographs are fucking idiots.

“Woody, will you sign this?”
“Sure, but why a baseball?”
“They give you one free if you can eat a whole platter of Donkey Mex Nachos at Guy Fieri’s restaurant!”

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Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Instagram