The Crap We Missed – Friday 1.13.12

January 13th, 2012 // 420 Comments

She’s alive! And the butt of a Tim Tebow penis joke because we’re 11. Stick around.

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Nicole Scherzinger on a horse, Matt Lauer thinking all black guys look like Kanye hence this defensive stance, Jessica Alba‘s unfortunate jeans selection and the first photo of Katy Perry post-divorce and possibly post-Tebow Teabagging. “As the Lord rests his blessing upon my touchdowns, so do I rest my balls upon your chin. Amen.”

Peace be with you,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Matt Lauer
    dude!
    Commented on this photo:

    Douche

  2. Katy Perry First Photo Since Divorce Blue Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hurry up and take the pic, I’m going to get Teblown”

  3. Katy Perry First Photo Since Divorce Blue Hair
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    Without her breasts she’s just an ugly face.

  4. Ricky Gervais Wladimir Klitschko
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the face Hayden made when he stuck it in.

  5. Jessica Alba Butt Mom Jeans
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    Where did her torso go?

  6. Corey Feldman Trenchcoat Sunglasses Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he WINNING?

  7. Dita Von Teese Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    She dresses like she’s from the past but drives a modern car. I assumed she went by horse and carriage.

  8. Nicole Scherzinger Bikini Horseback
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    Nicole looks tired carrying that nasty woman around all day.

    • nick

      THAT was f’ing funny – no one got it!

      • I appreciate slut/horse face jokes and captions as much as the next guy, but when you put them to a girl who is a) obviously not a horse face b) not really known for Paparazzi tips-offs, it just comes of as easy, cheap, and retarded for the hopes of recognition.

        However, if this were Sarah Jessica Parker or Hillary Swank riding the horse, the joke would have been funny. Cheap and easy, but still kinda funny.

      • Trek Girl

        Just for the record, I read this comment before anyone responded to it, and I thought it was hilarious. If SSHGuru had made this joke about Sarah Jessica Parker or Hilary Swank, as Willie Dixon had suggested, it wouldn’t have been funny, in my opinion; jokes about them have been done to death – we get it, they have horse-face. Nicole Scherzinger, however, is new and very fertile ground, ripe for the picking and joke-making.

  9. Samuel L. Jackson Charicature
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yo dawg, I heard you like Sam Jackson so I put a Sam Jackson in your Sam Jackson…”

  10. Simon Cowell Man Boobs Yacht Sinetta Zeta Graff Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    This is definitely some crap I wish I would have missed.

  11. Nicole Scherzinger Bikini Horseback
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF? Did she get held up in Mexico a little while back? Did she develop Stockholm syndrome?

  12. Matthew Broderick Mario Cantone
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    They make a cute couple.

  13. Rachel Hunter
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s on the Kirstie Alley diet.

  14. Jack Black Mario Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    Silly Jack, you can’t OUTGAY the Lopez!!!

  15. Snooki Cleavage
    Plurp
    Commented on this photo:

    Team Snooki Boxing, eh? So does this mean we are going to get to see people punching her out or is that just wishful thinking?

  16. Matthew Broderick Mario Cantone
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s one horse of a tale, Matthew…”

  17. Derek Hough
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dude, all I am saying is you don’t fart very manly.”

  18. Matt Lauer
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    Mitt Romney’s Penis is THIS big!

  19. Matt Lauer
    Commented on this photo:

    “I…. I can’t…. I just could believe it was this big…”

  20. Corey Feldman Trenchcoat Sunglasses Hat
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    Even Charlie Sheen would not approve of those Hookers.

  21. Corey Feldman Trenchcoat Sunglasses Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is the result of being molested? Quick! Someone Sandusky me before I come to my senses!!

  22. Katy Perry First Photo Since Divorce Blue Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s iIlegal begal and Captain America.

  23. Dita Von Teese Butt Yoga Pants
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    That looks like my car. If that my car? I think it is, but so many look the same. I’m just going to stand here.

  24. Derek Hough
    Commented on this photo:

    The exact moment when he realized he left too many beads inside…

  25. Duane Dog Chapman Beth Chapman
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s cute when they fight over who gets the last three chili dogs

  26. Snooki Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    If this scheme enables people to punch her in the face she is going to make obscene amounts of cash.

  27. Derek Hough
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s waiting for “the Bieber”

  28. Ricky Gervais Wladimir Klitschko
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, if that’s not a “Make me laugh or I’ll rape you” situation, I don’t know what is…

  29. Matthew Broderick Mario Cantone
    Commented on this photo:

    Ferris Beullers day out of the closet.

  30. Samuel L. Jackson Charicature
    Commented on this photo:

    “There has been a rashon of burglaries caused by myself, here is police sketching, if you’ve seen me call 911.”

  31. Derek Hough
    Dina Crackwhore
    Commented on this photo:

    Move: Constipated Roboto

  32. Rachel Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    Rachel Krispy Kreme Hunter

  33. Jamie Kennedy
    Commented on this photo:

    He was leaving that Special building for mentally special retards.

  34. Nicole Scherzinger Bikini Horseback
    Commented on this photo:

    “Riding in the desert on horse with no name.”

  35. Simon Cowell Man Boobs Yacht Sinetta Zeta Graff Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, how long has he been on that boat and in the same shorts ?

  36. Willard Scott Al Roker
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll take who’s fatter, balder and uglier for $600 Alex.” Who is Willard Scott and Al Roker?

  37. Samuel L. Jackson Charicature
    Commented on this photo:

    Even an actor of Samuel L. Jackson’s caliber can’t fake being impressed by that piece of crap.

  38. Willard Scott Al Roker
    Commented on this photo:

    Checking for crumbs on his tie.

  39. Simon Cowell Man Boobs Yacht Sinetta Zeta Graff Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    British humour is different than American humor.

  40. Dita Von Teese Butt Yoga Pants
    EmmaWatson's Vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    well i thought we would squeeze by a week with no ex-Mansons on here and now this.

  41. Jessica Alba Butt Mom Jeans
    TheSledMan
    Commented on this photo:

    Her left butt cheek seems to be sliding down her leg. Must have forgot to wear her spanks.

  42. Matthew Broderick Mario Cantone
    Commented on this photo:

    “Take my horse, please.”

  43. Corey Feldman Trenchcoat Sunglasses Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess those Goonies are good enough for him.

  44. Corey Feldman Trenchcoat Sunglasses Hat
    Coyote
    Commented on this photo:

    Where does he get the money for whores?

  45. Jessica Alba Butt Mom Jeans
    EmmaWatson's Vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like she was saying there were ghosts on that ship Laurel and Hardy were staying on.

  46. Rachel Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    The good news is that now that this Swine Flu has hit, bitch can get some work as the poster girl for it…Get it….cuz she’s a pig!

  47. Simon Cowell Man Boobs Yacht Sinetta Zeta Graff Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Relax ladies, there’s enough Simon to go around…and then some.

    • Shave

      He definitely has too much chest hair. I bet he has a hairy back, too. Just the thought makes me want to throw up.

  48. Rachel Hunter
    A
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s Britney bitch!

  49. Rachel Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    Here is a menopausal Rachel Hunter looking forward forward to, grand children, church groups and the Bridge club. Oh and lunch.

  50. Miss Hawaii Lauren Cheape
    Mcdoubler
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what my dog does when he has an itchy bum! i mean…aloha!

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