She’s alive! And the butt of a Tim Tebow penis joke because we’re 11. Stick around.
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Nicole Scherzinger on a horse, Matt Lauer thinking all black guys look like Kanye hence this defensive stance, Jessica Alba‘s unfortunate jeans selection and the first photo of Katy Perry post-divorce and possibly post-Tebow Teabagging. “As the Lord rests his blessing upon my touchdowns, so do I rest my balls upon your chin. Amen.”
Peace be with you,
- The Superficial
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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN
Douche
“Hurry up and take the pic, I’m going to get Teblown”
Without her breasts she’s just an ugly face.
Without the face she’s still totally doable.
Think about it: which would you rather do, her face on Justin Bieber’s body, or Justin Biebers head on her body. Or her body with no head. You know you’d do the corpse.
ok, so with that theory, I’d fuck your dead mother.
She looks better in this picture than in most.
unlike 99% of mothers on the internet, mine is still alive.
I’d fuck her trachea.
There’s already a name for Bieber’s head on Katy’s body. It’s Hilary Swank.
No question her body with no head.
This is the face Hayden made when he stuck it in.
Where did her torso go?
Is he WINNING?
She dresses like she’s from the past but drives a modern car. I assumed she went by horse and carriage.
She actually collects old vintage cars.
Nicole looks tired carrying that nasty woman around all day.
THAT was f’ing funny – no one got it!
I appreciate slut/horse face jokes and captions as much as the next guy, but when you put them to a girl who is a) obviously not a horse face b) not really known for Paparazzi tips-offs, it just comes of as easy, cheap, and retarded for the hopes of recognition.
However, if this were Sarah Jessica Parker or Hillary Swank riding the horse, the joke would have been funny. Cheap and easy, but still kinda funny.
Just for the record, I read this comment before anyone responded to it, and I thought it was hilarious. If SSHGuru had made this joke about Sarah Jessica Parker or Hilary Swank, as Willie Dixon had suggested, it wouldn’t have been funny, in my opinion; jokes about them have been done to death – we get it, they have horse-face. Nicole Scherzinger, however, is new and very fertile ground, ripe for the picking and joke-making.
“Yo dawg, I heard you like Sam Jackson so I put a Sam Jackson in your Sam Jackson…”
This is definitely some crap I wish I would have missed.
WTF? Did she get held up in Mexico a little while back? Did she develop Stockholm syndrome?
They make a cute couple.
She’s on the Kirstie Alley diet.
Silly Jack, you can’t OUTGAY the Lopez!!!
Got to give the Man credit for Trying
Team Snooki Boxing, eh? So does this mean we are going to get to see people punching her out or is that just wishful thinking?
“That’s one horse of a tale, Matthew…”
“Dude, all I am saying is you don’t fart very manly.”
HAHA!
Mitt Romney’s Penis is THIS big!
“I…. I can’t…. I just could believe it was this big…”
Even Charlie Sheen would not approve of those Hookers.
So this is the result of being molested? Quick! Someone Sandusky me before I come to my senses!!
It’s iIlegal begal and Captain America.
doooo
That looks like my car. If that my car? I think it is, but so many look the same. I’m just going to stand here.
The exact moment when he realized he left too many beads inside…
It’s cute when they fight over who gets the last three chili dogs
If this scheme enables people to punch her in the face she is going to make obscene amounts of cash.
He’s waiting for “the Bieber”
Wow, if that’s not a “Make me laugh or I’ll rape you” situation, I don’t know what is…
+1
Ferris Beullers day out of the closet.
+1
“There has been a rashon of burglaries caused by myself, here is police sketching, if you’ve seen me call 911.”
here is the (dammit)
Move: Constipated Roboto
Rachel Krispy Kreme Hunter
+1
He was leaving that Special building for mentally special retards.
“Riding in the desert on horse with no name.”
Wha’chu takin’ ’bout? That horse named Dave.
Damn, how long has he been on that boat and in the same shorts ?
“I’ll take who’s fatter, balder and uglier for $600 Alex.” Who is Willard Scott and Al Roker?
Even an actor of Samuel L. Jackson’s caliber can’t fake being impressed by that piece of crap.
FFS no shit! haha
I’ll grant that it is a fair likeness if it was rendered by an artist with a brush lodged in their urethra.
Nah, that was definitely sphincter painted!
I have been an art student for a couple years now and even with MY miniscule abilities can do a better rendering of Mr. SAMUEL Jackson.
roBeRt, I hate to be a dick, but I gotta be me…
I’m glad to see people are still going to art school. I HATE making my own espresso.
Checking for crumbs on his tie.
British humour is different than American humor.
They think a man wearing a dress is the height of hilarity…this is Shakespeare by comparison.
well i thought we would squeeze by a week with no ex-Mansons on here and now this.
Her left butt cheek seems to be sliding down her leg. Must have forgot to wear her spanks.
It’s the much coveted saddlebags but no ass look
“Take my horse, please.”
I guess those Goonies are good enough for him.
Where does he get the money for whores?
From the cash for cows program. Hello??? Obama’s new spending program.
You were running neck and neck with forrest gump/doctor snuggles for sheer comment suckiness and general all around stupidity; nice to see you’re pulling ahead.
looks like she was saying there were ghosts on that ship Laurel and Hardy were staying on.
The good news is that now that this Swine Flu has hit, bitch can get some work as the poster girl for it…Get it….cuz she’s a pig!
Relax ladies, there’s enough Simon to go around…and then some.
He definitely has too much chest hair. I bet he has a hairy back, too. Just the thought makes me want to throw up.
It’s Britney bitch!
Here is a menopausal Rachel Hunter looking forward forward to, grand children, church groups and the Bridge club. Oh and lunch.
I hope I look just like her when I get old.
Geez, I don’t know, Phil. That could be quite a stretch…
This is what my dog does when he has an itchy bum! i mean…aloha!